[Tambohamilton]

Where's pickle nowadays? Did he survive the break up?

[upstatedoc]

Ur not paying attention. He bought a new BMW.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Ur not paying attention. He bought a new BMW.

Who touched who's pickle? Hashtag metoo?

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Ur not paying attention. He bought a new BMW.

He could at least let us know how his first date with it went...

[///d]

Originally Posted by shoei

Who touched who's pickle? Hashtag metoo?

A.K.A pound metoo...

I laughed way to hard when that first came out.
Someone clearly didn't know what a hastag was before it was coined hashtag.

[Chihuahua]

I started seeing someone a couple of months ago. So far it's been a lot of fun. There is one thing that has popped up that I haven't experienced before. We've been out maybe a total of ten times, and I have paid every single time. In fact, she hasn't offered to pay even once. I asked my friend who has lived here for a long time (ATL) about it, he says it's a 'southern thing' and that I shouldn't hold my breath. Every other woman I've ever dated long term has offered to pay from time to time. I consider myself to be a chivalrous guy, and every now and then I would oblige. I should also add that she definitely makes more than I do, I'm guessing it's by a considerable margin. Has anyone else ever run into this? How did you navigate it?

[upstatedoc]

Run. Even my last girlfriend who made considerably less than me would pay for stuff when we went out.

[Tambohamilton]

Getting much money from me is like extracting blood from stone - it literally isn't there!

[shoei]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I started seeing someone a couple of months ago. So far it's been a lot of fun. There is one thing that has popped up that I haven't experienced before. We've been out maybe a total of ten times, and I have paid every single time. In fact, she hasn't offered to pay even once. I asked my friend who has lived here for a long time (ATL) about it, he says it's a 'southern thing' and that I shouldn't hold my breath. Every other woman I've ever dated long term has offered to pay from time to time. I consider myself to be a chivalrous guy, and every now and then I would oblige. I should also add that she definitely makes more than I do, I'm guessing it's by a considerable margin. Has anyone else ever run into this? How did you navigate it?

Sounds like this might not be the right fit for you. I'm willing to bet this would be an after thought if she at least even feigned to offer or reached for her wallet type deal. Probably would've made a world of difference to you.

Are you two, exclusive? Bumping uglies? If answers no to both those, pull the chute.

If you are hooking up, think of it like a high class escort then.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I started seeing someone a couple of months ago. So far it's been a lot of fun. There is one thing that has popped up that I haven't experienced before. We've been out maybe a total of ten times, and I have paid every single time. In fact, she hasn't offered to pay even once. I asked my friend who has lived here for a long time (ATL) about it, he says it's a 'southern thing' and that I shouldn't hold my breath. Every other woman I've ever dated long term has offered to pay from time to time. I consider myself to be a chivalrous guy, and every now and then I would oblige. I should also add that she definitely makes more than I do, I'm guessing it's by a considerable margin. Has anyone else ever run into this? How did you navigate it?

The fact that this has crossed your mind, and furthermore posting here about it, means this is a future topic of frustration if it continues. It comes down to what attributes, of being with her, do you value? Do the things that you admire and enjoy outweigh this concern? All relationships are give and take on multiple levels.

I also remember posting elsewhere on here recently, something to the nature of "The small nuances, that you overlook in the early days of a relationship, become the large problems that make you want to stab yourself in the eye with a rusty spoon later on." This is not verbatim. I would also like to add, this statement had no correlation to my current relationship. I was listening to someone else's problems with their SO that spawned this post.

To those that know and are chuckling to themselves regarding the disclaimer; you're welcome for the laugh.

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Run. Even my last girlfriend who made considerably less than me would pay for stuff when we went out.

I wouldn't say run, but definitely something to consider. The girlfriend makes less than I do, has 3 kids, more expenses and still offers to pay.

[JP10]

Wouldn't bother me one bit, go make more money pal lol

[cmyx6go]

Being the female voice here, I find it odd. I have always offered to pay and often grab the check especially if wr went out often or splurged on expensive places. If the guy was thick headed and previously protested, I have given my card to the waiter when he was in the men’s room. Can’t comment on the southern thing but I think it’s BS. If anything, I think it goes to character that it’s all about her. How is she otherwise? Any signs of selfishness or self centered? It might be nothing, or it might be a sign of future behavior.

[upstatedoc]

I was right when I told pickle to run correct? Even if she just faked offering to pay I would feel different about this post.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Being the female voice here, I find it odd. I have always offered to pay and often grab the check especially if wr went out often or splurged on expensive places. If the guy was thick headed and previously protested, I have given my card to the waiter when he was in the men’s room. Can’t comment on the southern thing but I think it’s BS. If anything, I think it goes to character that it’s all about her. How is she otherwise? Any signs of selfishness or self centered? It might be nothing, or it might be a sign of future behavior.

This leads me to think of other avenues in the relationship as well. I'm curious to hear more about the relationship. Does this mentality continue in other areas?

[cmyx6go]

I think we should ask Sara if she ever picks up the tab. If she doesn’t, you know what you’re dealing with. If she does pay now and then, you better run away really fast. Lol! Sorry Sara. Couldn’t resist.

[upstatedoc]

Just come pick me up! Wait, did you take delivery?

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Just come pick me up! Wait, did you take delivery?

Wednesday

EDIT- who is paying for the wine?

[shoei]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

I was right when I told pickle to run correct? Even if she just faked offering to pay I would feel different about this post.

Yeah even the act of making a motion says a lot about someone's character.

It's the new age thing you oldies used to do when you were younger. Back when cars didn't have electronic locks or something. But after you open the door for her, she had ample time to reach over and unlock your door, while you were cranking the handle for the engine, if she unlocked your door then she was a keeper, amirite, MKSixer ?

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by shoei

Yeah even the act of making a motion says a lot about someone's character.

It's the new age thing you oldies used to do when you were younger. Back when cars didn't have electronic locks or something. But after you open the door for her, she had ample time to reach over and unlock your door, while you were cranking the handle for the engine, if she unlocked your door then she was a keeper, amirite, MKSixer ?

Did you just watch A Bronx Tale? Lol. It’s true though.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Did you just watch A Bronx Tale? Lol. It’s true though.

Oh that's a good movie lol.

[shoei]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I think we should ask Sara if she ever picks up the tab. If she doesn’t, you know what you’re dealing with. If she does pay now and then, you better run away really fast. Lol! Sorry Sara. Couldn’t resist.

Horses are expensive. So are Louboutins. Girl can't have all that while paying for all her own dinners you know.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

This leads me to think of other avenues in the relationship as well. I'm curious to hear more about the relationship.

It's early going. If I'm being brutally honest I don't think she is the future Mrs. Chihuahua. I know myself really, really well and of all of the women I've been involved with in my life I can honestly say there are only two I could picture myself with in rocking chairs at the old folks home. With those two I knew it right away, one of them was a love at first sight experience. If I'm not feeling it right away, she's not 'the one'. I could be wrong here, but I'm confident I'm not. It's just how I'm wired.

The new lady in my life is very, very cool. Down to earth, fun to be with, easy to talk to. The physical aspect of things is really, really good. We both share a passion for music, although she is into completely different genres than me; that is actually another area of concern. I can tell that we are very different in several ways. She likes to be out on the town almost every week. Once, maybe twice per week is enough for me. I'm pretty regimented. I'm a bit of an introvert and she is very, VERY extroverted. There's obviously the paying for dates thing that isn't that much of an issue now, but absolutely would become an issue further down the road. Again, I'm not projecting wedding bells in my future with her, but for right now it's exactly what I need in my life and my plan is to just enjoy it. The last three years of my life have been pretty tumultuous to say the least.

I appreciate all of the input. This definitely isn't something I'd cut bait over just yet, but I figured I'd post up to see if anyone else has any advice on how to tactfully approach this. I of course could be blunt and say 'hey can you grab this one?', but I'm not sure if that's the right approach. It definitely doesn't feel right to me, and I like to stay true to myself and do what I think is right.