[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

take a step back, let things settle down.
then approach her and talk things over .
only you and her will know if you guys can make it happen.
if not, let her go.
how long have you guys been together?

Little over a year, but have been friends longer. Its pretty bizarre. Shes basically moving to an area where she knows nobody. This morning I get the "have a great day at work " text after all that and her saying she cares about me a lot.

Normally this would be easier for me, but she truly is an amazing person. Affectionate, loving, has carried me through a lot of shit, and basically looks like Mia Khalifa without the abnormally huge chest.

She hasn't had the best childhood, doesn't speak to her parents, etc. So this is one for the crazy books lol.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Yes, the "going back to school" rejection is another opportunity to "be young and free again".

Kind of in line with what I told our friend BMW about enjoying youth while you're young, otherwise it comes back later. Dysfunctional upbringings mean the same...

Been there, done that. Feel lucky she broke up with you before you found out she was seeing someone in school.

Yup, you're right.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Little over a year, but have been friends longer. Its pretty bizarre. Shes basically moving to an area where she knows nobody. This morning I get the "have a great day at work " text after all that and her saying she cares about me a lot.

Normally this would be easier for me, but she truly is an amazing person. Affectionate, loving, has carried me through a lot of shit, and basically looks like Mia Khalifa without the abnormally huge chest.

She hasn't had the best childhood, doesn't speak to her parents, etc. So this is one for the crazy books lol.

First off let me apologize for not jumping in here this morning yet taking the time to post cockolates....see what I did there?

Ok joking aside. I know and understand this feeling all too well. First, let me ask how emotionally invested into this girl are you? Is it possible to move closer to her? How long will she need to be living there? The reason for my line of questioning is that one of my best friends is a female from London. We've been friends for almost 20 years and 7 years ago she started dating on of her old school mates from London. Seven years they stayed committed to each other while living in other countries. With that being said they both had the means of being able to travel and see each other every month but again....seven damn years. They made it work and got married last month and he has moved to the U.S. to be with her. Six hours is a drive for sure, but is she worth it to try this. I mean, 6 hours is 6 hours but at least it isn't another country.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Little over a year, but have been friends longer. Its pretty bizarre. Shes basically moving to an area where she knows nobody. This morning I get the "have a great day at work " text after all that and her saying she cares about me a lot.

Normally this would be easier for me, but she truly is an amazing person. Affectionate, loving, has carried me through a lot of shit, and basically looks like Mia Khalifa without the abnormally huge chest.

She hasn't had the best childhood, doesn't speak to her parents, etc. So this is one for the crazy books lol.

i think it all depends how serious the relationship was or is to her...
do you guys live together because if you did, this is something to talk about with your partner before making a decision. Good for her that shes going to grad school, but does she really need to move 6hrs away?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

I married young, at 20. First marriage.
She went back to school at 24...

I found a bag of condoms in a drawer when we had a fight and I went to stay with a male friend.

She said they were from her female friend, because her mom was going to visit and couldn't see it (kind of believable right?)

Later I found a piece of paper with a "list of things to do" by both of her and her female friend from school, who happened to be a neighbour (assuming they were playing while I was gone).
In said list there were a lot of normal things, but one of them was "do the blond guy from class".

Well divorce went through for regular reasons. She picked the furniture she wanted to keep and let me have some.
I got the king size bed side of the deal.

The day I went to pick it up with another male friend I was now living with, we moved the bed out of the bedroom and he comes to me and says "look". It's a piece of the condom wrapper.

Anyway, just be glad she broke up with you beforehand and that you weren't married

Ouch. The second ex-wife whom I've mentioned on here several times called me one night and asked me to come over. I do, she's incredibly drunk, wild sex ensues. She passes out with her head in my lap. She receives a text message and I notice when the screen lights up who it's from. It's from a friend of mine reading "Absolutely, thank you! Can't wait to beat it up again." I check the last message she sent him. It read, "Thanks for the dick last night. If you aren't busy tomorrow let's do it again." This was sent 5 minutes before she called me and asked me to come over.

[CTinline-six]

Not living together, she would stay over for extended periods of time. I don't necessarily think it has to do with anyone else (obviously I could be wrong). I think it has more to do with fear of commitment, seeing things were getting serious, etc. I have a stable job, house, my family lives close by, l've pretty much lived in the same area most of my life. She wants to travel the world, not be tied down, join the peace corps, that sort of thing. Her reasoning was "we are on different paths right now".

This is someone who held my hand pretty much the entire weekend we spent away together, so that's why I'm confused.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Not living together, she would stay over for extended periods of time. I don't necessarily think it has to do with anyone else (obviously I could be wrong). I think it has more to do with fear of commitment, seeing things were getting serious, etc. I have a stable job, house, my family lives close by, l've pretty much lived in the same area most of my life. She wants to travel the world, not be tied down, join the peace corps, that sort of thing. Her reasoning was "we are on different paths right now".

This is someone who held my hand pretty much the entire weekend we spent away together, so that's why I'm confused.

Understandable. If those were her words I would take heed and just let her go. Don't ponder the what ifs just be appreciative of the time you had together and move on with your life. It's tough man I know.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Not living together, she would stay over for extended periods of time. I don't necessarily think it has to do with anyone else (obviously I could be wrong). I think it has more to do with fear of commitment, seeing things were getting serious, etc. I have a stable job, house, my family lives close by, l've pretty much lived in the same area most of my life. She wants to travel the world, not be tied down, join the peace corps, that sort of thing. Her reasoning was "we are on different paths right now".

This is someone who held my hand pretty much the entire weekend we spent away together, so that's why I'm confused.

i think you know, its hard to accept it but let her go.
her "reasoning" is enough to part ways. Time heals all wounds
been there done it. keep your head up.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CaptObvious

How the hell are we supposed to trust any woman? I don't know that I ever will after all the hell I've been through.

I still have issues. The current girlfriend has given me not a single reason not to trust her but at this point I'm not so much worried about her screwing me over as much I am worried about in the event that something were to happen, I don't want to be devastated again. This is why it's just easier not to become emotionally attached to anything.....especially people.

Another shitty story. Same girl two years prior. She comes over to the house one night after work, we're making out, things get heavy and I go down.....immediately tasted condom. FUCKING GRRRRrrrrr.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Damn...

Any job openings in your office?

Dammit Onesy! I'm telling you about my "distaste" (see what I did there? ) with a past relationship and you use this as a segue into job openings???

There is nothing in this office that you want sir. I consider it an endurance test for financial gain.....and all day paid bimmerpost of course.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

i think you know, its hard to accept it but let her go.
her "reasoning" is enough to part ways. Time heals all wounds
been there done it. keep your head up.

I guess I should also mention the backstory to this.


We met in college, 7 years ago. We dated briefly for a few months, she told me her heart was mine, etc. After graduation, she got a job a few states away and we broke up. She dated another guy during that time, I dated someone else also. Both of us broke up with people we were with over the course of that time period, and out of the blue she reached out to me through Facebook. Which is what started the whole thing of us getting together again.

Very strange. Usually for me relationships are not back and forth like this.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I still have issues. The current girlfriend has given me not a single reason not to trust her but at this point I'm not so much worried about her screwing me over as much I am worried about in the event that something were to happen, I don't want to be devastated again. This is why it's just easier not to become emotionally attached to anything.....especially people.

Another shitty story. Same girl two years prior. She comes over to the house one night after work, we're making out, things get heavy and I go down.....immediately tasted condom. FUCKING GRRRRrrrrr.

oh man... i think i wouldve went randy savage on her



and then....

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I guess I should also mention the backstory to this.


We met in college, 7 years ago. We dated briefly for a few months, she told me her heart was mine, etc. After graduation, she got a job a few states away and we broke up. She dated another guy during that time, I dated someone else also. Both of us broke up with people we were with over the course of that time period, and out of the blue she reached out to me through Facebook. Which is what started the whole thing of us getting together again.

Very strange. Usually for me relationships are not back and forth like this.

she is doing it again...smh

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

This to me is akin to the girls that only have relationships up to mardi grass or spring break. By then they break it off to "think things over", and want to reconcile after they're done. Til next year.

or worse, find a boy because it's "cuffing season" and enjoy the perks of being in a relationship and break up right before spring break so she can have more "fun"

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

she is doing it again...smh

Yup, more texts. I'm not sure why you would keep taunting someone if you don't have feelings for them anymore.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by CaptObvious

WTH is cuffing?

i don't know the exact meaning, but cuffing season is right before "pumpkin everything" times where chicks look for someone cuddly to spend the cold times inside with someone

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Yup, more texts. I'm not sure why you would keep taunting someone if you don't have feelings for them anymore.

because i feel like you're that good guy who she can get serious with, and she knows this, but also feels like she's too young to settle down with anyone so she wants to go and have "fun". chances are she'll try to keep you on the hook while she messes around during school and then hit you up after that.

this might sound harsh, but your best bet is to change yourself for the better.
women absolutely HATE it when they see you're thriving without them, and you're doing better for yourself too.

stuff like if you smoke quit it, start hitting the gym etc. it is hard after a breakup to get back on your feet, yes, but if you fell every time you stumbled you wouldn't be able to walk forward at all

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

oh man... i think i wouldve went randy savage on her



and then....

Without waking her up, I slid out from under her head and let myself out. After I left I sent her a text that read, "You obviously no longer need me. See the message below mine."

She of course went ape shit and it was all my fault because I read her text message.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Without waking her up, I slid out from under her head and let myself out. After I left I sent her a text that read, "You obviously no longer need me. See the message below mine."

She of course went ape shit and it was all my fault because I read her text message.

Thats the moment i wouldve elbow drop her, then walk out.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

because i feel like you're that good guy who she can get serious with, and she knows this, but also feels like she's too young to settle down with anyone so she wants to go and have "fun". chances are she'll try to keep you on the hook while she messes around during school and then hit you up after that.

this might sound harsh, but your best bet is to change yourself for the better.
women absolutely HATE it when they see you're thriving without them, and you're doing better for yourself too.

stuff like if you smoke quit it, start hitting the gym etc. it is hard after a breakup to get back on your feet, yes, but if you fell every time you stumbled you wouldn't be able to walk forward at all

This! As I was leaving the gym last night I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past few years. I should have gone to the gym back during the times I suffered through my depression.

Something else to consider. Let her have her fun while you have yours. I've been considering open relationship type mentality lately myself. Seems to me that people tend to get bored or complacent with relationships after a while. If a person is interested in someone else, let them be. by giving them an ultimatum of either them or me ends up making them resent you or you get a slap in the face when they choose them over you. Most people aren't wired this way, but it does eliminate "caging" someone or yourself even. Allow her to be her and explain to her that at the same time you are going to do you. Down side to this will be that when she realizes that you have no problem getting with another girl, she will get jealous and then not want to have anything to do with you. I speak from experience.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

This! As I was leaving the gym last night I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past few years. I should have gone to the gym back during the times I suffered through my depression.

Something else to consider. Let her have her fun while you have yours. I've been considering open relationship type mentality lately myself. Seems to me that people tend to get bored or complacent with relationships after a while. If a person is interested in someone else, let them be. by giving them an ultimatum of either them or me ends up making them resent you or you get a slap in the face when they choose them over you. Most people aren't wired this way, but it does eliminate "caging" someone or yourself even. Allow her to be her and explain to her that at the same time you are going to do you. Down side to this will be that when she realizes that you have no problem getting with another girl, she will get jealous and then not want to have anything to do with you. I speak from experience.

I wouldn't do an open relationship... just not my thing, I don't really see the point in it haha
the girl I was with last night, neither of us are in a relationship, and both of us do our own thing but every now and then we get together and just chill - it's like an "open relationship" i guess without the title?

[CTinline-six]

I love this community. Who would've thought that the thread I've been giving advice in would be the one I turn to in order to seek advice. You guys/girls are great.