12-21-2018, 12:55 PM | #2289 | |
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i dont know why he deleted his account, I dont have any means of reaching out to either outside of the forum. someone who can't cope with being called out on a forum behind an username and a profile picture got NE banned pretty much, and if I had to take a wild guess Onesy was like "screw this im out" lowkey - the mods are screening this thread for some reason lol i got a PM from someone (don't worry im not in trouble, i think) but let's change the topic? |
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12-21-2018, 01:23 PM | #2290 |
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12-21-2018, 01:54 PM | #2292 |
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I still haven't pulled the trigger on the rubber sheets but washing a load of towels every day is getting old.
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12-21-2018, 02:42 PM | #2293 | |
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There is no perfect woman out there, just like you are no perfect man. And I bet that the initial thrill of the dating phase will eventually get old too as you realize you will always find the flaws in each other with each new person...eventually that realization must set in, and no doubt leaves one jaded if you are always looking for the perfect match. I don't know, sounds like it is a balancing of positives and negatives, and figuring out if you can live with the negatives. I would say the lack of initiation is frustrating, but not nearly as important as the kids. The kids are always going to be around, in some way or another, and always number one for her. And if you can't stand them, I don't know long run how that will play out, but I wouldn't be surprised if its a struggle. On the other hand, you say she's attractive and a good person (very important and hard to find sometimes with those who are not already in relationships). I would not be surprised if you took a few days to clear your head and disconnect a little from your frustration in the moment that you found many other positive traits about her. Obviously I can't tell you what to do, but I'd encourage you to step back and evaluate the situation with a calm mind and be fair to her before you take any action. There are some very concerning things here, no doubt. How many times have you discussed this with her and asked her to initiate sometimes? Have you conveyed how important it is to you? This doesn't mean it will change of course - I've tried having this discussion with my dear wife, and it really hasn't changed things. But ultimately, it's not the hill I wish to die on, there are far too many other good things about her. |
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King Rudi13189.00 IllSic_Design2128.50 |
12-21-2018, 02:58 PM | #2294 | |
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The biggest issue that I have with her is just overall personality. I'm a type-A personality - fast talking, goal oriented, go-getter, clean, etc. She is just kinda happy to be wherever she is. Whatever direction the wind blows her is where she'll end up, simply no direction at all. I definitely need to step back and calm down before I make any move whatsoever, but between last night and this mornings arguments, I definitely feel different about her....especially in regards to sex now. I may be an asshole but now that I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is my job to initiate every single time, this makes me not want to initiate it at all. Thanks for the sound advice Joe. ![]() |
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12-21-2018, 03:13 PM | #2295 |
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Wait, you've only ever had 2 arguments, then you had one last night and another one this morning?
I too suffer from the lack of initiation by the partner. It gets extremely frustrating for me to TRY to initiate and then nothing happens. My wife thinks that if I look her in the eyes, look at her chest, and then she shakes a bit that she has in fact initiated. Both you and I probably wouldn't agree. Do you think you REALLY want another type-A??? I'm more the laid back in my relationship, but it really does get difficult to ALWAYS be the one apologizing after an argument. I do it though because I know she has cut off blood-family over silly shit they can't even remember any more. With that in mind, if *I* don't patch it up, it won't get patched. More than a few times I've been on the receiving end of "You don't support me" when it comes to her kids. That's because I will never hear the words 'You aren't my father' again, not going to get into an argument beginning with "No, I'm still here supporting you" The response I get then, regarding our shared son, is "You go tell him" OK, I will, and that's why he listens to me and shows me a bit of respect. |
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12-21-2018, 03:15 PM | #2297 | |
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Yep, it’s like he read my draft. I just didn’t get it out there soon enough. The only difference was the way he spelled color. Hang in there, guy. He actually did give some good advice which I know you know. |
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King Rudi13189.00 |
12-21-2018, 03:42 PM | #2298 | ||
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Yeah, the thing with the kids is exactly why I don't want to get close to them. I tried in the past. Last year at Christmas I went on a trip with them to see Christmas lights. The youngest started crying on the way there and it continued the entire time. When I finally had enough and started jokingly giving him hell with comments like, "My man, you are still crying? Your mom takes you out and takes you places and all you can do is cry?" She got pretty upset with him and me so I just kept my mouth shut the rest of the trip. That was the last time I made an effort to be involved. Quote:
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12-21-2018, 03:50 PM | #2299 |
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Jody while I do get that we're on very different spots in life, I think you're at the level where I want to be.
What I mean by this? I'm a relatively hard person to live with, if someone can put up with me that's a major win in my book. I'm brutally honest, and much rather support/state the truth than caring about someone's feelings or whatever. I'm also ambitious, maybe more than I can pull off sometimes, but I've set up my life so that if I mess something up it's my fault and no one elses. So like if a girl can literally put up with me for so long I wouldn't make a huge deal of it. Then again, here's where I fail: I can't deal with people who are okay with where they are if they complain 24/7. On the flipside, I also know I probably wouldn't get along with someone like me very well because I live with my head too far deep in my ass. It is why I do what I do today so I don't think that's something that'll go that easily and especially this young. So all in all I think you should decide what you're looking for. Starting college I was after the "accessory" type of girl who'd literally have 24/7 available when I wanted to hang out etc you get the girl. I tried that, ended up not being a fan of it because that usually brought a lesser sense of intelligence. I then went on to people I'd get along with on "deeper" level as in they'd get my jokes, we'd have conversations past "she did he said". That didn't last longer either because I rarely put up with shit and because I'm so busy during the week days, I usually got a lot of shit thrown at me. This is a long, rambly post yes but the message I want to give is this - what are you looking for? Two and a half years is more than any relationship I ever had so clearly what you had in the first place was working out. Is loyalty and her attractiveness important to you? (It looks like it and I'd seriously reconsider priorities if neither was tbh) And the final blow: past sex, would you meet up with her for coffee or whatever? As in, do you like spending time with her or is it more of a "she's hot and sex is great" kind of thing? Why are you in a relationship? Clearly you're doing fine on your own, you can cook, drive a nice car so probably making decent bank, your kids are not really "kids" anymore (at least in the eyes of the law). As I said maybe i'm saying all this because I haven't existed that long yet (you're older than twice my age) but I feel like coming up with questions to help you think through this might be the most helpful course of action rather than making an impulse decision that might not sit well with you in the next day/week/month... |
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12-21-2018, 05:23 PM | #2300 | |
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12-21-2018, 05:42 PM | #2301 | ||
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The kid thing isn't a huge deal. We have discussed this and she understands that because I don't spend as much time with my kids as I would like, it's hard for me to be around other kids in that role. She understands and is cool with it but I also understand that she would like for all of us to be around her together. She doesn't pressure me about it though. She has some great qualities and I don't take these for granted but the areas lacking are of great concern. |
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12-21-2018, 06:31 PM | #2302 | |
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Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
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12-21-2018, 08:05 PM | #2304 | |
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Several actors have played James Bond, Sean Connery IS James Bond...
Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion. |
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12-22-2018, 08:22 AM | #2307 |
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After your initial post I was going to say breathe. Something set you off and got blown out of proportion for whatever reason. Something else going on, take a bit and cool off. But after reading your subsequent posts I feel differently. It seems to me it’s just about the sex and keeping you occupied. Granted that being a good person and being faithful is huge in my book, if you have nothing in common outside the bedroom where is it going? And you already know she will get hurt.
Where is her head on your future? I’m sure she’s thinking 2 1/2 years, where is this going and maybe senses the answer is nowhere but won’t dare utter a word for fear of it being true. If she ignores it, maybe it will be ok. I also haven’t seen you say you love her. I think you know the answer deep down. |
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12-22-2018, 03:08 PM | #2308 |
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My friend's ex was broken up with by his GF YESTERDAY. Extremely poor form. What's the world coming to...she should have know that she has to stick it out until VD.
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Sir 7ewis, 7X FIA Formula One World Championship, World Driving Champion. 100 Wins. 101 Pole Positions. 54 Fastest Laps. Actual Rain Master. Leave me to it, Bono. One Race Win in each of his 15 years in F1. Most Laps Led in Formula One. The Centurion. Last edited by MKSixer; 12-22-2018 at 05:19 PM.. |
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12-22-2018, 03:49 PM | #2309 |
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Did you guys already forget about steak/bj day?? If u want me to hold out until after VD, fair plays dictates we go clear to SBJD
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12-25-2018, 06:22 PM | #2310 |
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