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      11-13-2018, 09:48 AM   #1871
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
I married young, at 20. First marriage.
She went back to school at 24...

I found a bag of condoms in a drawer when we had a fight and I went to stay with a male friend.

She said they were from her female friend, because her mom was going to visit and couldn't see it (kind of believable right?)

Later I found a piece of paper with a "list of things to do" by both of her and her female friend from school, who happened to be a neighbour (assuming they were playing while I was gone).
In said list there were a lot of normal things, but one of them was "do the blond guy from class".

Well divorce went through for regular reasons. She picked the furniture she wanted to keep and let me have some.
I got the king size bed side of the deal.

The day I went to pick it up with another male friend I was now living with, we moved the bed out of the bedroom and he comes to me and says "look". It's a piece of the condom wrapper.

Anyway, just be glad she broke up with you beforehand and that you weren't married
Got Dam, are you me in an alternate universe? I was 24, and found them in the new Jeep I bought her when I took it to get speakers for her birthday.

I guess I blew it, because a few months later she told me she was pregnant, but we hadn't been intimate in months. . .
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      11-13-2018, 09:49 AM   #1872
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Open relationships really aren't my thing, and I don't even really believe that is the reason. It's possible I'm the most naive person on the planet, but I truly believe she does have feelings, but the mental issues are what is getting in the way, not wanting other men. Not that it's any different of a reason or an excuse to hold on. I guess everything is a learning experience. The way things were going (even up until yesterday morning) is why this caught me by surprise.
Now let me say, I'm in no way advocating an open relationship, but then again maybe I am. I'm not currently in one, but at the same time I would rather my partner be open enough with me to say that she wants to sleep with someone else rather than lie about it and do it anyway. I guess I've become so broken from other people that at this season of my life I just want to be happy and subjecting my core values to alternative reasoning is a way that I keep myself from being disappointed with other people and the decisions they make.
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      11-13-2018, 09:50 AM   #1873
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Originally Posted by CaptObvious View Post
She's not confused, she's an asshole
I'd say she isn't an asshole, she's just a typical person who always looks for the next best alternative. Whether that makes her an asshole or not we can debate that, but I've honestly came to the realization that most (if not all) women are like that and I just live within that "constraint"

She's not yours, it's just your turn - I forgot where I read this but it clicked with me so much

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Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
Got Dam, are you me in an alternate universe? I was 24, and found them in the new Jeep I bought her when I took it to get speakers for her birthday.

I guess I blew it, because a few months later she told me she was pregnant, but we hadn't been intimate in months. . .
Oddly enough, I remember you posting about this somewhere on BP, am I losing my mind or did you actually post that in another thread too?
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In fact, I was young, dumb and full of cum but emptied quite often.
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      11-13-2018, 09:50 AM   #1874
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Originally Posted by CaptObvious View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
She has feelings for you... she's "confused"...

Like the BPD in my story earlier in the thread. Perhaps she'll find herself, perhaps not. You won't help her find herself.
She's not confused, she's an asshole
I call assholes people that do things knowing they're wrong.

When people can't help themselves or don't know better, they need help, but "we" can't help them, and a person has to seek help first.

Point in case is her reaching out to our friend, she realizes he's hurt and she cares.

Doesn't mean she'll try to be with him and that doesn't mean she's an asshole. But he can't help her.

That's why I asked him to promise he wouldn't try to go after her. We're inclined to seek these people, it's crazy...
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      11-13-2018, 09:50 AM   #1875
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Not living together, she would stay over for extended periods of time. I don't necessarily think it has to do with anyone else (obviously I could be wrong). I think it has more to do with fear of commitment, seeing things were getting serious, etc. I have a stable job, house, my family lives close by, l've pretty much lived in the same area most of my life. She wants to travel the world, not be tied down, join the peace corps, that sort of thing. Her reasoning was "we are on different paths right now".

This is someone who held my hand pretty much the entire weekend we spent away together, so that's why I'm confused.
She is straight up telling you she doesn't want you, despite you being an awesome guy. She will probably regret it later, but let her go. I know it hurts. You're not the only one. I'm having a tough time today too. I know time will heal.
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      11-13-2018, 09:52 AM   #1876
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First let me say I'm sorry.

As one of the token females in the group, I say move on. If she wanted to make it work, she would. Not sure if there was discussion before hand that she was going to grad school in a different city and what would happen. You sound like the good guy to fall back on. Never, ever, be someone's safety net.

Take a deep breath and move on! I would not answer her texts. Don't let her bait you nor play with your head. This is why I hate most women. I always got along better with the guys.
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      11-13-2018, 09:52 AM   #1877
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Originally Posted by bimmette View Post
She is straight up telling you she doesn't want you, despite you being an awesome guy. She will probably regret it later, but let her go. I know it hurts. You're not the only one. I'm having a tough time today too. I know time will heal.
Thanks.

I wish I could share a round of drinks with all of you.
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      11-13-2018, 10:07 AM   #1878
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by bimmette View Post
She is straight up telling you she doesn't want you, despite you being an awesome guy. She will probably regret it later, but let her go. I know it hurts. You're not the only one. I'm having a tough time today too. I know time will heal.
Thanks.

I wish I could share a round of drinks with all of you.
Me too!

I would join you for drinks, but I'm 6 hours away...
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      11-13-2018, 10:11 AM   #1879
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Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
Me too!

I would join you for drinks, but I'm 6 hours away...
Dammit, I was in Niagara on Sunday.
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      11-13-2018, 10:12 AM   #1880
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
I married young, at 20. First marriage.
She went back to school at 24...

I found a bag of condoms in a drawer when we had a fight and I went to stay with a male friend.

She said they were from her female friend, because her mom was going to visit and couldn't see it (kind of believable right?)

Later I found a piece of paper with a "list of things to do" by both of her and her female friend from school, who happened to be a neighbour (assuming they were playing while I was gone).
In said list there were a lot of normal things, but one of them was "do the blond guy from class".

Well divorce went through for regular reasons. She picked the furniture she wanted to keep and let me have some.
I got the king size bed side of the deal.

The day I went to pick it up with another male friend I was now living with, we moved the bed out of the bedroom and he comes to me and says "look". It's a piece of the condom wrapper.

Anyway, just be glad she broke up with you beforehand and that you weren't married
Got Dam, are you me in an alternate universe? I was 24, and found them in the new Jeep I bought her when I took it to get speakers for her birthday.

I guess I blew it, because a few months later she told me she was pregnant, but we hadn't been intimate in months. . .
I remember your story... I guess they weren't ready to get married... lol
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      11-13-2018, 10:16 AM   #1881
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Originally Posted by CaptObvious View Post
No open relationships for me. If you wanna bang Bob instead of me, let's break up then you can go bang Bob you whore.
Not disagreeing with you and not trying to sell the open relationship thing here, just something I've considered. Much like in martial arts how you remain fluid and allow the attackers momentum to guide them into the hell that awaits them rather than fighting head on.

Last edited by Now_Rudi; 11-13-2018 at 10:22 AM..
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      11-13-2018, 10:20 AM   #1882
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Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
First let me say I'm sorry.

As one of the token females in the group, I say move on. If she wanted to make it work, she would. Not sure if there was discussion before hand that she was going to grad school in a different city and what would happen. You sound like the good guy to fall back on. Never, ever, be someone's safety net.

Take a deep breath and move on! I would not answer her texts. Don't let her bait you nor play with your head. This is why I hate most women. I always got along better with the guys.
Another pearl of wisdom!
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      11-13-2018, 10:35 AM   #1883
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Every woman I know says that men are more trustworthy.

It's very weird to see women having "girls night out" with 4 or 6 girls on the same table at a restaurant gossiping about other women, until one of them decides to go to the washroom. Then they all start gossiping about the girl who just left!
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      11-13-2018, 10:38 AM   #1884
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Just watched this video, which was recently posted:

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      11-13-2018, 10:57 AM   #1885
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Originally Posted by CaptObvious View Post
Repeat after me, boys...They are just a hole...they are just a hole...they are just a hole.
I have to disagree here. They are people just like we are. None of us operate on a level that is conducive with everyone around us. We are all humans, we all do stupid shit and our want's/needs/desires are ever changing. It's all about learning what makes other people tick and adjusting our behaviors around their specific mechanisms to make their personalities coincide with ours.....even if it is just for sex.
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      11-13-2018, 10:59 AM   #1886
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Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
This! As I was leaving the gym last night I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past few years. I should have gone to the gym back during the times I suffered through my depression.

Something else to consider. Let her have her fun while you have yours. I've been considering open relationship type mentality lately myself. Seems to me that people tend to get bored or complacent with relationships after a while. If a person is interested in someone else, let them be. by giving them an ultimatum of either them or me ends up making them resent you or you get a slap in the face when they choose them over you. Most people aren't wired this way, but it does eliminate "caging" someone or yourself even. Allow her to be her and explain to her that at the same time you are going to do you. Down side to this will be that when she realizes that you have no problem getting with another girl, she will get jealous and then not want to have anything to do with you. I speak from experience.
Bro you never, ever quit on the gym. Every chick I even dated I told day one that I will be at the gym 4 days a week and this is non-negotiable. Out there every day is war and you need to be fit in case your relationship goes south and it's time to meet a "younger model".
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      11-13-2018, 10:59 AM   #1887
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Originally Posted by CaptObvious View Post
Repeat after me, boys...They are just a hole...they are just a hole...they are just a hole.
call me soft but not really...
some girls (maybe because im in college, idk) do really position themselves as that, but even then it's like whatever
but a decent majority is just average people...

i'm really curious to hear your stories (maybe i skipped them??) about why you hate women so much instead of recognizing their "down sides" and living with those constraints
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In fact, I was young, dumb and full of cum but emptied quite often.
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      11-13-2018, 11:03 AM   #1888
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Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
call me soft but not really...
some girls (maybe because im in college, idk) do really position themselves as that, but even then it's like whatever
but a decent majority is just average people...

i'm really curious to hear your stories (maybe i skipped them??) about why you hate women so much instead of recognizing their "down sides" and living with those constraints
+1

Physical attraction is great, but can also be easily replaced. There will always be someone more attractive out there physically. The intellectual attraction to another person is not as easily replaced.
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      11-13-2018, 11:05 AM   #1889
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Bro you never, ever quit on the gym. Every chick I even dated I told day one that I will be at the gym 4 days a week and this is non-negotiable. Out there every day is war and you need to be fit in case your relationship goes south and it's time to meet a "younger model".
I actually just started. Less than a week in. This is my first go with trying to become physically what I've always wanted to be. I can already foresee this being an issue with the current girlfriend though and also not something I am going to bend or break on to spend time with her. She got a membership to the same gym but we will only work out together when her kids are with their father, the rest of the time it will only be me. I spent 2 hours there last night and although she didn't say anything I could tell that she was frustrated that I was at the gym rather than being with her.
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      11-13-2018, 11:10 AM   #1890
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I'm only half kidding, relax. You're still young, you'll see how evil they really are. Hopefully, you don't get constantly shit on like I have & become as jaded & cynical.

Hate is too strong of a word here. I've posted a few of mine in the thread. Not going to advertise my life story, though. Let's just say I've been cheated on, lied to & much more by every woman I have been in a relationship with except for one & that one was the crazy I talked about earlier w/the being possessed by an evil spirit nonsense.
oh shit, i got some catching up to do

i somehow attract the crazy or "broken" for the lack of a better word; my last gf had his boyfriend cheat on her. with another dude... it's not like she was ugly either and this completely destroyed her. she won't even acknowledge me even though i'm close with her sister and we hang out whenever i'm back home

ofc at the end our "relationship" lasted just the summer and a bit into the school year because long distance
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      11-13-2018, 11:11 AM   #1891
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Originally Posted by CaptObvious View Post
Never gone to the gym & never will. So what do I do?
What kind of physical shape are you in?
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      11-13-2018, 11:11 AM   #1892
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Never gone to the gym & never will. So what do I do?
Build up a massive bank account and top that off with a well sized penis. At that point you can look like a cross between Gollum and Jabba Da Hutt and be swimming in "moistness".
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