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      01-11-2019, 08:14 AM   #2927
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Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
once you know what's possible it's hard to go back
Bingo.
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      01-11-2019, 08:22 AM   #2928
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Originally Posted by DETRoadster View Post
Well shoot. I've been off this thread for a while. Sorry to see you and your lady are having problems Not_Judy . That sucks.

From what you are saying it seems like she's a good person and you guys have fun together, but she's just in a different place in her life than you are. It seems you are viewing her more as someone to hang out with and have fun with and less as a partner. Nothing wrong with that of course, but it means that relationship has gone as far as you will allow it to. It's not going to get fundamentally better as you two are not going to get any closer. She has her kids and her life, you have your kids and your life. You two intersect in the middle somewhere when time, money, etc. allows. it seems you are hovering someplace between "friends with benefits" and "partner." If all involved are happy with that, then game on. But the fact that you are here sharing this and clearly disappointed by the state of affairs tells me you want more from a relationship, just not more from THIS relationship. Sorry man, but I think your options are: Status Quo, or move on.
You're exactly right, sound advice. Thank you Dave.
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      01-11-2019, 08:25 AM   #2929
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thats some super duper CIAxFBIxSPY agent shit


Not_Judy
she is definitely upset, hurt what you posted and what others posted regarding your situation. She probably feels like you couldve approached her instead of sharing it on the forum. Women vent there issues/emotions with their females friends. Men do things differently. Im still puzzled how she figure who you were, read all of your posting. how did she know you posted on off topic?

let her cool off, then trying talking to her and discuss what made her so upset.

Last edited by nyalpine90; 01-11-2019 at 08:34 AM..
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      01-11-2019, 08:55 AM   #2930
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Anytime that I face a change in my life I do the self reflection bit. I consider what I could have done differently, then consider what negatives I need to leave behind and the positives I need to carry forward.

In this situation I regret that she found out how I feel by reading it here rather than hearing it from me. To touch on this, had she not been snooping in the first place she wouldn't have read it here. In my own defense, I came here for opinions to the issues that were bothering me much like how many of you have support systems in your life that you discuss issues with before actually making a move.

I was not above trying to work things out with her, but until she is able to admit that she snooped due to insecurity issues rather than trying to relieve herself of responsibility by stating someone anonymously tipped her off; then I have no basis to build the conversation to repair things. I would honestly respect her more had she said that she had trust issues and had been reading this versus someone sending her a message and telling her to read it.

If nothing else perhaps her reading some of the posts here help her with future relationships.

With all this being said there is a good possibility that I will shut this account down today. I feel that this now gives her a path to read up on me, delve into my personal thoughts, feelings and what I share with everyone here. I also feel like my privacy has somewhat been infringed upon. Although this is a public forum, I did not create this account to plug who I am in real life and marry this with my social media. I somewhat wanted to keep this side of my life separate and now this is not the case.

To those that have taken the time to enjoy the mutual smartassery that has been had here along with the give and take of advice, knowledge of our cars and general appreciation/respect for each other I thank you. I've enjoyed getting to know each of you and wish you all well.
Wait, now you're breaking up with US too?!

I hope you reconsider. Maybe just lay low for a while, come back with a different user name, and find a way to let us know its you. Your contributions and camaraderie here are important!
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      01-11-2019, 08:56 AM   #2931
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Anytime that I face a change in my life I do the self reflection bit. I consider what I could have done differently, then consider what negatives I need to leave behind and the positives I need to carry forward.

In this situation I regret that she found out how I feel by reading it here rather than hearing it from me. To touch on this, had she not been snooping in the first place she wouldn't have read it here. In my own defense, I came here for opinions to the issues that were bothering me much like how many of you have support systems in your life that you discuss issues with before actually making a move.

I was not above trying to work things out with her, but until she is able to admit that she snooped due to insecurity issues rather than trying to relieve herself of responsibility by stating someone anonymously tipped her off; then I have no basis to build the conversation to repair things. I would honestly respect her more had she said that she had trust issues and had been reading this versus someone sending her a message and telling her to read it.

If nothing else perhaps her reading some of the posts here help her with future relationships.

With all this being said there is a good possibility that I will shut this account down today. I feel that this now gives her a path to read up on me, delve into my personal thoughts, feelings and what I share with everyone here. I also feel like my privacy has somewhat been infringed upon. Although this is a public forum, I did not create this account to plug who I am in real life and marry this with my social media. I somewhat wanted to keep this side of my life separate and now this is not the case.

To those that have taken the time to enjoy the mutual smartassery that has been had here along with the give and take of advice, knowledge of our cars and general appreciation/respect for each other I thank you. I've enjoyed getting to know each of you and wish you all well.
i completely understand you, and it sucks!
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      01-11-2019, 09:26 AM   #2932
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@Not_Judy

Don't leave! I see your point but I think you shouldn't leave here... it won't be the same without you
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      01-11-2019, 10:04 AM   #2933
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Wow, that is crazy, and it sounds to me like she may have found the forum by snooping, and is trying to shift the blame to the facebook friend as well.

My wife used to joke with the other girls when they were out at car meets and such, that the "forum wives" should get together and start spamming the forum, but that was a smaller local, single car model forum. They still never did, as we were all honestly pretty lame and boring.

My bigger concern now has been separating work life and forums, as I am a moderator on a very large site, but also work in the auto industry, so I have rules that I have to abide by due to privacy on that end.

On social media I have always gone by the idea that I only post things that I would share with anyone at any time, so I don't ever feel like I need to hide anything specifically, but being separated and trying to "date" has made me question it a little, as I have only become a "friend" with one girl that I had been spending time with, and she also has very limited FB use, and I am not on IG or anything to see what she posts there. I do wonder if there is a chance that anyone else has looked me up and decided that they weren't interested after seeing anything I had posted about my life previous to now, but I don't worry about it too much, as that is who I am...

And in the end, I agree with Bayerische, if you do take a break, just come back with a new name, and carry on. Hopefully she isn't super nuts, and wouldn't keep tracking you down long term. And if the things you have mentioned are the way I think they are, she probably wouldn't even keep the focus to do so.
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      01-11-2019, 10:12 AM   #2934
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His new name should be DefinitelyNotJody.
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      01-11-2019, 10:43 AM   #2935
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Not_Judy - I understand you might decide to take a break, and I support you either way. But step back, remove emotions from this equation, before you make any decision.
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      01-11-2019, 10:53 AM   #2936
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You will be back.
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      01-11-2019, 11:00 AM   #2937
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Anytime that I face a change in my life I do the self reflection bit. I consider what I could have done differently, then consider what negatives I need to leave behind and the positives I need to carry forward.

In this situation I regret that she found out how I feel by reading it here rather than hearing it from me. To touch on this, had she not been snooping in the first place she wouldn't have read it here. In my own defense, I came here for opinions to the issues that were bothering me much like how many of you have support systems in your life that you discuss issues with before actually making a move.

I was not above trying to work things out with her, but until she is able to admit that she snooped due to insecurity issues rather than trying to relieve herself of responsibility by stating someone anonymously tipped her off; then I have no basis to build the conversation to repair things. I would honestly respect her more had she said that she had trust issues and had been reading this versus someone sending her a message and telling her to read it.

If nothing else perhaps her reading some of the posts here help her with future relationships.

With all this being said there is a good possibility that I will shut this account down today. I feel that this now gives her a path to read up on me, delve into my personal thoughts, feelings and what I share with everyone here. I also feel like my privacy has somewhat been infringed upon. Although this is a public forum, I did not create this account to plug who I am in real life and marry this with my social media. I somewhat wanted to keep this side of my life separate and now this is not the case.

To those that have taken the time to enjoy the mutual smartassery that has been had here along with the give and take of advice, knowledge of our cars and general appreciation/respect for each other I thank you. I've enjoyed getting to know each of you and wish you all well.
No, I’m sorry, we do not accept your resignation.

Besides, if she left, what’s the point in your leaving us? You need us now more than you did before. Makes no sense, mi amigo... get drunk tonight and come back tomorrow with a fresh new outlook... well, as fresh as you can muster since you’ll be all hungover and everything.
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      01-11-2019, 03:11 PM   #2938
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Understandable how you might not want to continue on with this site, but we hope that you don't leave us for good. I enjoyed reading your posts as well as plenty of others. Take time to reflect and get everything worked out and take care man!
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      01-12-2019, 10:36 AM   #2939
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@Not_Judy don't leave, if she wants to walk, let her walk. She can snoop around here after she's gone out of your life and catch up on all the great extra curricular activities you do
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      01-13-2019, 07:17 AM   #2940
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it's just too quiet around here now...
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      01-13-2019, 08:16 AM   #2941
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
it's just too quiet around here now...
Don't cry.
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      01-14-2019, 08:10 AM   #2942
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      01-14-2019, 08:50 AM   #2943
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I think he'll be back incognito. If you guys are going through Judy withdrawals, can you imagine how he must feel? I'm guessing those 10 hour days at work have been mighty long.

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      01-14-2019, 08:53 AM   #2944
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
I think he'll be back incognito. If you guys are going through Judy withdrawals, can you imagine how he must feel? I'm guessing those 10 hour days at work have been mighty long.

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I think so, too... he hasn’t changed his user name like _______ did, so that’s a good sign.
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      01-14-2019, 09:15 AM   #2945
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He's fine. He is probably getting some action from all of those heavy weights at the gym with the beef jerky in his pockets.
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      01-14-2019, 12:13 PM   #2946
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
I think he'll be back incognito. If you guys are going through Judy withdrawals, can you imagine how he must feel? I'm guessing those 10 hour days at work have been mighty long.

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You all sure know how to make person feel better about themselves.
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      01-14-2019, 12:31 PM   #2947
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You all sure know how to make person feel better about themselves.
Butt out, Rudi! We’re trying to honor our departed friend not Judy...we don’t appreciate a stranger like you presuming to know our pain!

Not rudi, humpfh...



Nice pic, btw...lol
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      01-14-2019, 12:42 PM   #2948
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Butt out, Rudi! We’re trying to honor our departed friend not Judy...we don’t appreciate a stranger like you presuming to know our pain!

Not rudi, humpfh...



Nice pic, btw...lol
I have read many of this Not_Judy's posts. He seems like a real dick.
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