11-10-2021, 11:11 AM | #11925 |
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Just another day in TimSport's life (true story)
It was a beautiful sunny day with a crisp, cool air blowing and representing a perfect day of Autumn. Little did I know what was about to happen. The tags were still fresh on my brand new Toyota Corolla with the sport package so I decided to cruise over to my local Sam’s Club. Lo and behold before I even had a chance to get out of my car a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with hair flowing down to her ass and a rack that just wouldn’t quit gazed at me with emerald green eyes that just pierced my soul. Admittedly I was taken aback by this moment because it’s usually a hot blonde that finds me, but not today. I thought I was going to bust a nut right then and there but thankfully not because of my vast experience and prowess with the ladies. This stunning brunette reminded me of my middle school teacher that broke my cherry when I was 13, but that’s another time and story.
Back to Sam’s Club in the parking lot and the brunette. Her name was Lola. I really didn’t have time because I needed to buy a dozen cowboy bone-in ribeye steaks (delicious by the way) for a small get-together at my home that evening. Before I had a chance to step out of the Corolla Lola began to rub herself apparently not even concerned that onlookers could possibly witness her brazen attempt to seduce me. As she was rubbing her crotch she kept saying, or shall I say moaning something about how sexy the Celestite Gray Metallic looked in the sunlight and that she had been trying to buy one herself but all the local dealers were out. Fortunately for me I’ve got a hook-up at a local Toyota dealership that I’ve been using for years. Shit, pandemic? Big deal. Chip shortages? Means nothing. I’m able to order whatever Toyota I want, whenever I want and well below invoice. Lola asked me what it would take to be able to take the Corolla for a ride. I was straight with her and told her that I didn’t want her woman-hood ruining my cloth seats because stains just don’t come out of that shit. Believe me, I know. That’s another story as well. I literally put my hand in her face to brush her aside and while doing that I accidentally brushed her rock hard nips in the process almost cutting myself. I said to her “damn woman, is it cold out here?” and she responded with a “no, I’m just so turned on right now and need you to bend me over your car and ……. “Whoa whoa girl…. chill out! If I don’t get inside someone’s gonna buy up all the steaks. Besides that, I already rubbed one out this morning.” (I did that intentionally because for some reason I just knew something like this was going to happen to me on this fine Autumn day). It happens to me A LOT. Honestly it gets old after a while and even embarrassing because people are always watching. I used to really enjoy the thrill of it but not as much anymore. I can understand why some people can’t understand that train of thought but it is what it is. When you get older and more mature, it’s just not as special anymore. I only have so many salvos to use in a day not like when I was much younger. I don’t do Viagra either. It’s all natural for me so I figure if I only get a half-chub or less with an encounter like the one on this day, I’ll pass. So in the end I just got Lola’s number and told her I’ll call her sometime. She finished herself off and said she looked forward to hearing from me soon. I haven’t yet and it’s been 2 weeks now. Got too many things to do and women to f***. |
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11-10-2021, 11:12 AM | #11926 | ||
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Sara5748.00 |
11-10-2021, 11:32 AM | #11927 | |
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11-10-2021, 11:35 AM | #11928 | |
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Speaking of hair, I always kept a lint roller in my bedside table just for this reason. Hair wasn't so much of an issue as f*cking glitter! Glitter is to women what spraying is to animals. I have kicked women out of my house for coming over all glittered up or having clothing on that sheds glitter. I actually had one that offered to shower to remove said glitter so she could stay....she stayed. |
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11-10-2021, 11:37 AM | #11929 | ||
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11-10-2021, 11:43 AM | #11930 |
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11-10-2021, 11:46 AM | #11931 | |
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![]() That's the trick. Reset the room back to the way it was before you came in, every single time, it never gets dirty. 5 - 15 minute clean ups unattended can turn into hours of cleaning later. This, in turn, results in more time for other things. Also nothing is a bigger turn off for the ladies than a man who lives like a slob. |
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11-10-2021, 11:51 AM | #11933 | ||
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Sara5748.00 |
11-10-2021, 12:04 PM | #11935 | |
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Plus...., you can actually find shit without having to look all over. Messy people are a confusing species. |
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Sedan_Clan23758.50 King Rudi13124.00 |
11-10-2021, 12:21 PM | #11936 | |
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11-10-2021, 01:15 PM | #11937 | |
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Oh, and more importantly, Happy Birthday Corps! |
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11-10-2021, 01:22 PM | #11938 | |
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Wait, isn't that Rose from St. Olaf?!
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Would appreciate this the most, just because of the gesture...
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11-10-2021, 02:01 PM | #11941 |
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...and more importantly, happy National Donut Day! Several years ago, I had the unexpected honor of celebrating the holiday with retired LTC Orson Swindle and trays full of donuts, and it was a really moving experience to hear his POW story that day.....
https://vetlikeme.org/the-marine-cor...nal-donut-day/ .
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11-10-2021, 02:02 PM | #11942 |
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11-10-2021, 02:03 PM | #11943 | |
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She was really supportive of the butt hole bleaching, but still don't understand why it would cost $1k. I guess because it was a designer model, has a bunch of little Guccie emblems. Looks cool but seems like a very 2025 thing to do. |
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King Rudi13124.00 |
11-10-2021, 02:05 PM | #11944 | |
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11-10-2021, 02:11 PM | #11945 | |
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11-10-2021, 02:13 PM | #11946 |
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