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      05-24-2022, 02:36 PM   #12805
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You get to raise your kids in a stable home with a loving mother to your children. Just do what I did, marry a woman that makes more than you do.

If you want kids, as I have said before here, leaving them too late is something you will regret. Middle age comes at you hard and small kids make it way harder.
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      05-24-2022, 02:42 PM   #12806
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What benefits do I get as a man for commitment?

Serious question.
I always laugh at this. Just funny how society has devolved. While the benefits are far from being solely sexual, if you looked back 100 years where women weren't as promiscuous this question had less bearing.

Because that's no longer the case, all in the name of equality and what not, men are now asking this question. And women probably don't like it very much. But it could be corrected so simply. Just abstain until marriage.

Honestly though, if you find the RIGHT woman, the emotional benefits are pretty important and probably become more so as I would guess as the sex drive declines...least I hear it declines in older guys. Can't really picture that myself, but maybe.
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      05-24-2022, 02:51 PM   #12807
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You guys avoiding commitment, time is gonna bit you on the arse hard. If you find the right girl, get it done, it's never too early, just find the right girl.
What benefits do I get as a man for commitment?

Serious question.
I think the problem is the older I get (31 now) the more I realize the importance of marrying the right person, instead of just getting married. I'd love to have kids, but I'd rather they be with the right person than be in a similar situation as some of my coworkers/friends are in right now with their divorce. Obviously not all relationships end up this way, but the odds are not in our favor. Choose wisely. I've seen good people's lives DESTROYED because their spouse just wanted to bang someone else.
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      05-24-2022, 02:58 PM   #12808
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
I think the problem is the older I get (31 now) the more I realize the importance of marrying the right person, instead of just getting married. I'd love to have kids, but I'd rather they be with the right person than be in a similar situation as some of my coworkers/friends are in right now with their divorce. Obviously not all relationships end up this way, but the odds are not in our favor. Choose wisely. I've seen good people's lives DESTROYED because their spouse just wanted to bang someone else.
I don't disagree, it's all true but my original statement was in regards tot hose that wanted to walk from commitment just because "it is too early"..... find the right girl, if that happens, don't let her run away.
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      05-24-2022, 03:04 PM   #12809
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
You get to raise your kids in a stable home with a loving mother to your children. Just do what I did, marry a woman that makes more than you do.

If you want kids, as I have said before here, leaving them too late is something you will regret. Middle age comes at you hard and small kids make it way harder.
I am approaching my 40s and have no intention of having children either (I am snipped). I will retire much earlier than my married counterparts.
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      05-24-2022, 03:28 PM   #12810
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I am approaching my 40s and have no intention of having children either (I am snipped). I will retire much earlier than my married counterparts.
And according to statics, die sooner.
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      05-25-2022, 08:19 AM   #12811
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Quote:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
You get to raise your kids in a stable home with a loving mother to your children. Just do what I did, marry a woman that makes more than you do.

If you want kids, as I have said before here, leaving them too late is something you will regret. Middle age comes at you hard and small kids make it way harder.
I am approaching my 40s and have no intention of having children either (I am snipped). I will retire much earlier than my married counterparts.
Being snipped is great. I got snipped at 28 [with no kids] and I've never regretted it.
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      05-25-2022, 08:58 AM   #12812
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Being snipped is great. I got snipped at 28 [with no kids] and I've never regretted it.
Was is a fight to get it done? I've been told by some friends that even have kids they had to fight with the docs because they were "too young and might someday want more kids". Same with a couple gals I know, they had to fight as well because of the same argument.
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      05-25-2022, 08:59 AM   #12813
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Being snipped is great. I got snipped at 28 [with no kids] and I've never regretted it.
Was is a fight to get it done? I've been told by some friends that even have kids they had to fight with the docs because they were "too young and might someday want more kids". Same with a couple gals I know, they had to fight as well because of the same argument.
Not at all. Suuuuuper easy. I had a 10 minute interview with the urologist and that was it.
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      05-25-2022, 09:32 AM   #12814
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Not at all. Suuuuuper easy. I had a 10 minute interview with the urologist and that was it.
I assume you had to pay for it - what does it cost in the States?

Mine was covered, and did the "no needle / no scalpel" vasectomy, though its a bit of a farce. They still use a sharp instrument but that didn't really matter to me, what did matter was there was no needle. Didn't care about the scalpel.
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      05-25-2022, 09:49 AM   #12815
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I assume you had to pay for it - what does it cost in the States?

Mine was covered, and did the "no needle / no scalpel" vasectomy, though its a bit of a farce. They still use a sharp instrument but that didn't really matter to me, what did matter was there was no needle. Didn't care about the scalpel.
I have been shooting blanks since 2017 and paid $490 for the procedure here in the US. It has more than paid for itself whenever women have tried to "oops" me.
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      05-25-2022, 10:06 AM   #12816
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Being snipped is great. I got snipped at 28 [with no kids] and I've never regretted it.
Im about there. Ive spent the last 15 years in relationships with women who either were religious about the pill or on IUD but about to go back into the market and, at 41, I really dont see myself wanting kids.

The only reason Im hesitant is just the idea that I could possibly me mrs right who is younger and sees eye to eye with me on everything but wants a kid.
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      05-25-2022, 10:13 AM   #12817
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RnmEvo9 View Post
What benefits do I get as a man for commitment?

Serious question.
I see the value in commitment, just not marriage. Ive had two very long cohabitation relationships. Obviously they did end but we survived plenty of divorces along the way.

When we broke up it was much easier, but just because it was easy it wasn't like we were just 100-0 "well fuck it." We put work in for an entire year to try and figure out why we weren't happy. Therapy, changes in lifestyle, etc before just admitting we werent the same people and didnt like each other like that anymore. All the same motions but we didnt need to hire lawyers.
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      05-25-2022, 10:27 AM   #12818
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I see the value in commitment, just not marriage.
Agreed. Society has changed a lot since my folks were young adults. I've watched too many friends lose too much because they married someone who took everything from them, and over the dumbest shit. Not to mention all my military buddies who have went through divorce because their sig other cant keep their legs closed during deployments, cleaned out their bank accounts, take half their benefits, and bounce.

Fuck.that. I don't need a piece of paper legally bonding me to someone else. Thank god the gf is on the same page there.
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      05-25-2022, 11:16 AM   #12819
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Originally Posted by RnmEvo9 View Post
I have been shooting blanks since 2017 and paid $490 for the procedure here in the US. It has more than paid for itself whenever women have tried to "oops" me.
Lol - the look on their faces must have been something I bet. $490 isn't bad. I just figured since it is the States it would have have cost a lot more. You have good medical care, its just astronomical what it can cost.
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      05-25-2022, 11:21 AM   #12820
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Not at all. Suuuuuper easy. I had a 10 minute interview with the urologist and that was it.
I assume you had to pay for it - what does it cost in the States?

Mine was covered, and did the "no needle / no scalpel" vasectomy, though its a bit of a farce. They still use a sharp instrument but that didn't really matter to me, what did matter was there was no needle. Didn't care about the scalpel.
Mine was covered by my medical insurance. I had the scalpel procedure.
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      05-25-2022, 11:24 AM   #12821
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
Being snipped is great. I got snipped at 28 [with no kids] and I've never regretted it.
Im about there. Ive spent the last 15 years in relationships with women who either were religious about the pill or on IUD but about to go back into the market and, at 41, I really dont see myself wanting kids.

The only reason Im hesitant is just the idea that I could possibly me mrs right who is younger and sees eye to eye with me on everything but wants a kid.
It was honestly the best decision I've ever made. The peace of mind I experience is priceless.
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      05-25-2022, 02:24 PM   #12822
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It was honestly the best decision I've ever made. The peace of mind I experience is priceless.
You know what gets me though...there are some cases where the fricking tubes knit themselves back together and "poof" you aren't shooting blanks anymore.

I love my kids, but I would prefer not to have any more, but a significant fear of mine is that somehow, years down the road, I stop shooting blanks and we have another kid.

Last time I googled it, there weren't a lot of options to test without a requisition from a doctor and I can't convince mine anymore that I'm still *close* to post vasectomy allowing for a free test. I'd happily pay once or twice a year just to make sure.
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      05-25-2022, 03:10 PM   #12823
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How old's the mrs? Just keep a distance until she's sterile
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      05-25-2022, 03:51 PM   #12824
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Originally Posted by Sedan_Clan View Post
It was honestly the best decision I've ever made. The peace of mind I experience is priceless.
You know what gets me though...there are some cases where the fricking tubes knit themselves back together and "poof" you aren't shooting blanks anymore.
That is such a rare case; so rare it's not even worth considering. It would need to be a perfect storm (…and truly divine intervention) for severed, sutured and cauterized vas deferens to both reattach and become viable. Even surgically reattached vas deferens are never as viable as they were pre-vasectomy. I think those cases we hear about of post-vasectomy impregnations occur when unprotected sex occurs while there is still motile sperm in the ejaculate or poorly performed vasectomy procedures. Another issue to consider is some vasectomy methods are more effective than others. I had to provide two semen samples that were free of motile sperm before I was confirmed to be sterile.
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      05-25-2022, 05:19 PM   #12825
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Agreed. Society has changed a lot since my folks were young adults. I've watched too many friends lose too much because they married someone who took everything from them, and over the dumbest shit. Not to mention all my military buddies who have went through divorce because their sig other cant keep their legs closed during deployments, cleaned out their bank accounts, take half their benefits, and bounce.

Fuck.that. I don't need a piece of paper legally bonding me to someone else. Thank god the gf is on the same page there.
You dont even have to get taken to the cleaners to suffer. Some states have waiting periods and a lot have expensive and very restrictive rules on how its done. In most states the process is intentionally slow and expensive to deter divorce because of old family values BS.
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      05-25-2022, 10:36 PM   #12826
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I am just thankful that I am no longer in the crap show that is the dating game in 2022.
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