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      12-18-2021, 12:48 PM   #12387
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Just had to break it off w/ a lady I was with for 5 months. Lot of crying from her, I feel terrible. Anybody ever sort of love someone but knew you couldn't be together long-term?

Main thing for me was age. She's almost 34 and I'm a few years younger. And she has had ongoing financial/emotional issues from her first marriage. Overall these things were more than I wanted to take on.
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      12-18-2021, 01:39 PM   #12388
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Originally Posted by Germanauto View Post
Just had to break it off w/ a lady I was with for 5 months. Lot of crying from her, I feel terrible. Anybody ever sort of love someone but knew you couldn't be together long-term?

Main thing for me was age. She's almost 34 and I'm a few years younger. And she has had ongoing financial/emotional issues from her first marriage. Overall these things were more than I wanted to take on.
Yes. But the main thing for me wasn't age or anything I could even put my finger on.
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      12-18-2021, 03:33 PM   #12389
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Originally Posted by Germanauto View Post
Just had to break it off w/ a lady I was with for 5 months. Lot of crying from her, I feel terrible. Anybody ever sort of love someone but knew you couldn't be together long-term?

Main thing for me was age. She's almost 34 and I'm a few years younger. And she has had ongoing financial/emotional issues from her first marriage. Overall these things were more than I wanted to take on.
As long as youre honest you gotta do what you gotta do. Ive been in a few relationships where it just wasnt right.
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      12-18-2021, 05:10 PM   #12390
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No same here! I missed going on dates, last week with her was a nice refresher. I just didn't feel like I'd want to girlfriend her so I didn't want to continue seeing her and waste both our resources bc i got the vibe that she was looking for something a little more serious with me. I don't necessarily miss my ex but it felt like I was going from a bmw to a hyundai. Probably not great of me to compare people but someone higher quality in general is what I'm looking for, not someone who I'm just attracted to physically.

And by hang I completely meant meaningless sex for the sake of having sex.
Ok that clarifies things better. Now I understand
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      12-18-2021, 08:13 PM   #12391
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I've been more or less following this thread for months. Here's my bad dating experience:

It's bad because it's the date I never had, but really desired. I was in Junior High School and "in love" with the most beautiful girl in the world. She was very popular (but not stuck up, as they said in the day) - just a gem of a lady.

I was so friggin' shy at the time, I didn't have the nerve to ask her out. I'm sorry I didn't.
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      12-18-2021, 08:24 PM   #12392
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Originally Posted by 3.0L View Post
I've been more or less following this thread for months. Here's my bad dating experience:

It's bad because it's the date I never had, but really desired. I was in Junior High School and "in love" with the most beautiful girl in the world. She was very popular (but not stuck up, as they said in the day) - just a gem of a lady.

I was so friggin' shy at the time, I didn't have the nerve to ask her out. I'm sorry I didn't.
But then you might not've met that special girl who moved in across the street.
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      12-18-2021, 09:07 PM   #12393
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As long as youre honest you gotta do what you gotta do. Ive been in a few relationships where it just wasnt right.
She was simply outside my "comfort zone" due to differences in age, culture, the fact she was divorced, etc. I had always envisioned myself being with a certain type of girl never never had any luck, then she came into my life. I wonder if I will ever meet such a good person again.

Due to her age I feel so guilty for wasting her time. I pray she finds love and happiness. I'd like to remain friends but know that often hurts one person.
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      12-19-2021, 02:53 PM   #12394
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Originally Posted by Germanauto View Post
Just had to break it off w/ a lady I was with for 5 months. Lot of crying from her, I feel terrible. Anybody ever sort of love someone but knew you couldn't be together long-term?

Main thing for me was age. She's almost 34 and I'm a few years younger. And she has had ongoing financial/emotional issues from her first marriage. Overall these things were more than I wanted to take on.
So you're saying there's a recently single 34yo lady who's in need of some comfort?

Would you look at the time, it's almost time to board my flight to LAX!
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      12-19-2021, 11:58 PM   #12395
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Originally Posted by Germanauto View Post
She was simply outside my "comfort zone" due to differences in age, culture, the fact she was divorced, etc. I had always envisioned myself being with a certain type of girl never never had any luck, then she came into my life. I wonder if I will ever meet such a good person again.

Due to her age I feel so guilty for wasting her time. I pray she finds love and happiness. I'd like to remain friends but know that often hurts one person.
To each their own, but to me age is just a number after a certain point. My folks are 10 years apart, my gf is 4 years younger than I. I think sometimes it can make a difference, like if someone hasn't quite grown out of the party stages of their 20s, but IMO by your 30s a few years isn't a deal breaker.

Emotional and financial issues can be difficult to take on. I've been there on both sides of that fence. I'm honestly on that fence right now because my gf can't seem to figure her finances out. It's not enough for me to get out (yet), but it's enough that I'm not making any future financial plans with her as a contributor.


Shy Soldier update:
Saturday we were getting ready for a trip into town and the girl he has been hanging out with unexpectedly showed up with some others where we were waiting for our ride. He saw her, she waved at us and he immediately turned his back and ignored her like she wasn't there because he was so nervous. He has been talking to her everyday and hangs out with her from time to time also, so it's not like they don't know each other. I later asked him wtf that was about and he said he just locked up and got super nervous. I swear watching him is like I'm back in 7th grade.


He had been doing so good with pushing through his fears and talking to her and asking her to out to things, and then this
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      12-20-2021, 01:43 AM   #12396
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Originally Posted by Tambohamilton View Post
Yes. But the main thing for me wasn't age or anything I could even put my finger on.
Maybe that was the problem - you couldn't even put your finger on it
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      12-20-2021, 02:02 AM   #12397
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Maybe that was the problem - you couldn't even put your finger on it
Ha! That's my issue nowadays, for sure.

How are you getting on?
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      12-20-2021, 04:25 AM   #12398
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Ha! That's my issue nowadays, for sure.

How are you getting on?
Yeah I'm good thanks mate. All settled in my new place and things are going pretty well at the moment. My little'un is over my place pretty much every day which is great.
However, it never surprises me how devious women can be. I was out on the town Saturday night with a mate and we spent most of the evening in a bar that had a live band playing, which were absolutely great. While we were there two birds caught our eye. Now, my mate is happily married so he was always going to be a good boy and for him they were merely eye candy. Anyway, after a while we all ended up in the same area and they started flirting and singing and dancing with us which was all good fun. Now at no point during the evening had we seen any husbands or boyfriends in tow (no rings on fingers either), so I thought they were genuinely flirting and having a good time with us. However, my mate clocked two blokes stood a bit behind us and he seemed to think they were somehow involved with these two women. And sure enough, after he realised this and then the two women realised we knew something was up, these two guys moved in and were clearly the boyfriends of these two women.
Now it seems to me that these two women and possibly there boyfriends were clearly out to cause trouble, as why would you spend the entire evening making out you were single and dancing and flirting with another bloke while in full view of your boyfriends?
As soon as the boyfriends came over to them, I think they were all hoping it was going to kick off, but unfortunately for them we were better than that and merely ignored them and just carried on with our evening. Very odd!
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      12-20-2021, 05:47 AM   #12399
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Yeah I'm good thanks mate. All settled in my new place and things are going pretty well at the moment. My little'un is over my place pretty much every day which is great.
However, it never surprises me how devious women can be. I was out on the town Saturday night with a mate and we spent most of the evening in a bar that had a live band playing, which were absolutely great. While we were there two birds caught our eye. Now, my mate is happily married so he was always going to be a good boy and for him they were merely eye candy. Anyway, after a while we all ended up in the same area and they started flirting and singing and dancing with us which was all good fun. Now at no point during the evening had we seen any husbands or boyfriends in tow (no rings on fingers either), so I thought they were genuinely flirting and having a good time with us. However, my mate clocked two blokes stood a bit behind us and he seemed to think they were somehow involved with these two women. And sure enough, after he realised this and then the two women realised we knew something was up, these two guys moved in and were clearly the boyfriends of these two women.
Now it seems to me that these two women and possibly there boyfriends were clearly out to cause trouble, as why would you spend the entire evening making out you were single and dancing and flirting with another bloke while in full view of your boyfriends?
As soon as the boyfriends came over to them, I think they were all hoping it was going to kick off, but unfortunately for them we were better than that and merely ignored them and just carried on with our evening. Very odd!
My buddies wife will do that. She will intentionally flirt with guys, and then as soon as they make a move or speak up she does the whole "Don't touch me! My husband will kick your ass!" and then tries to get him to fight them. He hates it.
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      12-20-2021, 06:44 AM   #12400
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nick46 View Post
Yeah I'm good thanks mate. All settled in my new place and things are going pretty well at the moment. My little'un is over my place pretty much every day which is great.
However, it never surprises me how devious women can be. I was out on the town Saturday night with a mate and we spent most of the evening in a bar that had a live band playing, which were absolutely great. While we were there two birds caught our eye. Now, my mate is happily married so he was always going to be a good boy and for him they were merely eye candy. Anyway, after a while we all ended up in the same area and they started flirting and singing and dancing with us which was all good fun. Now at no point during the evening had we seen any husbands or boyfriends in tow (no rings on fingers either), so I thought they were genuinely flirting and having a good time with us. However, my mate clocked two blokes stood a bit behind us and he seemed to think they were somehow involved with these two women. And sure enough, after he realised this and then the two women realised we knew something was up, these two guys moved in and were clearly the boyfriends of these two women.
Now it seems to me that these two women and possibly there boyfriends were clearly out to cause trouble, as why would you spend the entire evening making out you were single and dancing and flirting with another bloke while in full view of your boyfriends?
As soon as the boyfriends came over to them, I think they were all hoping it was going to kick off, but unfortunately for them we were better than that and merely ignored them and just carried on with our evening. Very odd!
My buddies wife will do that. She will intentionally flirt with guys, and then as soon as they make a move or speak up she does the whole "Don't touch me! My husband will kick your ass!" and then tries to get him to fight them. He hates it.
She needs to be punched in the Twat!! 🤣
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      12-20-2021, 09:05 AM   #12401
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Originally Posted by nick46 View Post
Yeah I'm good thanks mate. All settled in my new place and things are going pretty well at the moment. My little'un is over my place pretty much every day which is great.
However, it never surprises me how devious women can be. I was out on the town Saturday night with a mate and we spent most of the evening in a bar that had a live band playing, which were absolutely great. While we were there two birds caught our eye. Now, my mate is happily married so he was always going to be a good boy and for him they were merely eye candy. Anyway, after a while we all ended up in the same area and they started flirting and singing and dancing with us which was all good fun. Now at no point during the evening had we seen any husbands or boyfriends in tow (no rings on fingers either), so I thought they were genuinely flirting and having a good time with us. However, my mate clocked two blokes stood a bit behind us and he seemed to think they were somehow involved with these two women. And sure enough, after he realised this and then the two women realised we knew something was up, these two guys moved in and were clearly the boyfriends of these two women.
Now it seems to me that these two women and possibly there boyfriends were clearly out to cause trouble, as why would you spend the entire evening making out you were single and dancing and flirting with another bloke while in full view of your boyfriends?
As soon as the boyfriends came over to them, I think they were all hoping it was going to kick off, but unfortunately for them we were better than that and merely ignored them and just carried on with our evening. Very odd!
First part; awesome, glad to hear! The rest...that's just fucking dumb.
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      12-20-2021, 09:06 AM   #12402
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My buddies wife will do that. She will intentionally flirt with guys, and then as soon as they make a move or speak up she does the whole "Don't touch me! My husband will kick your ass!" and then tries to get him to fight them. He hates it.
"No he fucking won't! Clear up your own mess!"
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      12-20-2021, 09:35 AM   #12403
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She was simply outside my "comfort zone" due to differences in age, culture, the fact she was divorced, etc. I had always envisioned myself being with a certain type of girl never never had any luck, then she came into my life. I wonder if I will ever meet such a good person again.

Due to her age I feel so guilty for wasting her time. I pray she finds love and happiness. I'd like to remain friends but know that often hurts one person.
I recently dated a girl that was 5 years older than me, had a kid with pretty heavy ADHD, etc. Got along great and meshed well, but someone with a kid is something I never cared for. Figured give it a shot and see, and it just wasn't going to be right long term so cut things fairly early. Still talk and are friends, but it's okay to be honest with your expectations in a partner. It's also okay to date and see if you have some leeway on your expectations.

We all only have one shot in this world, have to make sure we do things right not just for others, but ourselves as well.
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      12-20-2021, 12:35 PM   #12404
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Originally Posted by nick46 View Post
Yeah I'm good thanks mate. All settled in my new place and things are going pretty well at the moment. My little'un is over my place pretty much every day which is great.
However, it never surprises me how devious women can be. I was out on the town Saturday night with a mate and we spent most of the evening in a bar that had a live band playing, which were absolutely great. While we were there two birds caught our eye. Now, my mate is happily married so he was always going to be a good boy and for him they were merely eye candy. Anyway, after a while we all ended up in the same area and they started flirting and singing and dancing with us which was all good fun. Now at no point during the evening had we seen any husbands or boyfriends in tow (no rings on fingers either), so I thought they were genuinely flirting and having a good time with us. However, my mate clocked two blokes stood a bit behind us and he seemed to think they were somehow involved with these two women. And sure enough, after he realised this and then the two women realised we knew something was up, these two guys moved in and were clearly the boyfriends of these two women.
Now it seems to me that these two women and possibly there boyfriends were clearly out to cause trouble, as why would you spend the entire evening making out you were single and dancing and flirting with another bloke while in full view of your boyfriends?
As soon as the boyfriends came over to them, I think they were all hoping it was going to kick off, but unfortunately for them we were better than that and merely ignored them and just carried on with our evening. Very odd!
My buddies wife will do that. She will intentionally flirt with guys, and then as soon as they make a move or speak up she does the whole "Don't touch me! My husband will kick your ass!" and then tries to get him to fight them. He hates it.
holy shit that's genuinely toxic

if my wife/gf is going to flirt with another man she's done. that's genuinely disrespectful, and on top of that you put your man in a position where he can be seriously hurt (who tf knows what a drunk guy is going to do/what he's packing)?

fuck that noise, i hope your friend can find someone stable to build his life with.
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      12-20-2021, 12:46 PM   #12405
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Not that *I'm* into that, but yall seem to be missing the swinger life described above.
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      12-20-2021, 01:00 PM   #12406
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Not that *I'm* into that, but yall seem to be missing the swinger life described above.
Not missing it. Avoided it. I've touched on swinging in here. Everyone I know that's into the lifestyle seems to be really happy about it.
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      12-20-2021, 01:03 PM   #12407
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Not that *I'm* into that, but yall seem to be missing the swinger life described above.
Yeah, It would be one thing if it was a fling....but not my wife or long time girlfriend.
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      12-20-2021, 02:10 PM   #12408
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Not missing it. Avoided it.
This
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