Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

King Rudi · 10-05-2018, 02:29 PM

I don't feel as if I really have a claim to voice much of an opinion on this topic as I'm a white guy and to be honest, I don't know of the struggles that black males go through other than what I see on the news or social media. I'm not saying that claims aren't valid, but from a guy who lives in predominantly white southern town, the black friends that I have seem to have no problem with the ladies here. The jealous rednecks in this area are different story, but my black friends have no problems whatsoever with women. I know several very attractive women who have told me that if I were black I would be husband material. I guess this goes both ways. I know how it made me feel to be attracted to someone and get along with them really well but be shot down because of my race.

I'd hate to see this thread be turned into a racial situations as it's just fact that being single and dating life in this era blows....regardless of what color you are.

Turkish Pickle · 10-05-2018, 04:13 PM

its 2018, the only thing white men have easier is being called privileged by landwhales

Germanauto · 10-05-2018, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

No one is saying some men & women do not prefer one race/ethnicity/cock size/build type over others. However, that does not make dating suddenly a racist thing where white people have it easier.

What about the black people who don't like to date white people or the white women that only date black or hispanic men then? I've had women tell me they only date black men. Now what?!

Bro I never said it was racist. It's natural to have preferences, everybody does whether they admit it or not.

All I was commenting on was what I viewed as a common fact in the dating world. I didn't realize what a firestorm this would cause. I didn't mean anything of it my dudes!

We can all agree to disagree, I still love ya'll

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 01:27 PM

Ok, serious question: my 9 year old boy has a best bud that is over to the house all the time. His mom is recently divorced as am I and I think she's kinda cute. Problem #1 idk if she is dating anyone and problem #2 I would never want any kind of awkwardness between the mom and I if she is dating someone/not interested. #highschoollife

Joekerr · 10-16-2018, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Ok, serious question: my 9 year old boy has a best bud that is over to the house all the time. His mom is recently divorced as am I and I think she's kinda cute. Problem #1 idk if she is dating anyone and problem #2 I would never want any kind of awkwardness between the mom and I if she is dating someone/not interested. #highschoollife

Does she seem to flirt with you at all?

What sort of physical activity do the two boys like to do (is there a sport they like to do, or maybe do they still play on the playground, or is there a facility nearby like trampoline, rock climbing, etc)? Maybe you suggest a "play date" for the boys doing whatever this activity is and you two will just watch them. Gives you an opportunity to talk to her, maybe grab a coffee while waiting and see if there's interest. How she responds to suggesting a play date may also be a clue as to her interest.

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Does she seem to flirt with you at all?

I think, kinda? We text back and forth occasionally. I just got back from a business lunch and I bumped into her at the restaurant. during my meeting she texts me saying she was going to come up to me and say "Honey are you following me during my lunch hour" as a joke. Is that flirting

idk haven't been in th dating game in over 16 years

What sort of physical activity do the two boys like to do (is there a sport they like to do, or maybe do they still play on the playground, or is there a facility nearby like trampoline, rock climbing, etc)? Maybe you suggest a "play date" for the boys doing whatever this activity is and you two will just watch them. Gives you an opportunity to talk to her, maybe grab a coffee while waiting and see if there's interest. How she responds to suggesting a play date may also be a clue as to her interest.

hmmm, i will ponder this. My boys having his bday party at my house next month and her son is coming. Should I ask her to come help me decorate or is that the equivalent of buying your wife a vacuum cleaner for xmas?

**

Joekerr · 10-16-2018, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Does she seem to flirt with you at all?

What sort of physical activity do the two boys like to do (is there a sport they like to do, or maybe do they still play on the playground, or is there a facility nearby like trampoline, rock climbing, etc)? Maybe you suggest a "play date" for the boys doing whatever this activity is and you two will just watch them. Gives you an opportunity to talk to her, maybe grab a coffee while waiting and see if there's interest. How she responds to suggesting a play date may also be a clue as to her interest.

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

**

Sure sounds to me like she is flirting a bit. I'd say there is enough interest to reach out, but then, I've also been out of the dating game for about 12 years too, so don't take my words as gospel. On the other hand, presumably, she's been out of the game as well for quite some time if she just got divorced, so there's that working in your favour - she also doesn't know what to do either.

I take offense at your vacuum cleaner comment - it was a blender sir. A blender. That is what I got my wife for her Christmas present. Actually, in truth, because it was about $600, it was also her birthday present plus Christmas present. If I'm ever in your area, I expect an invitation over for a free beer (or two) to atone for your comments.

btw, I probably wouldn't ask her to help you decorate the house...at the very most I would mention it in passing if you see her that you are going to decorate the house and see if she volunteers to help (I don't think she will), but wouldn't ask her.

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

**

Negative on asking for help with decorations.

Just tell her to stop by during/after the party for adult beverages, if she's interested.

________ · 10-16-2018, 03:12 PM

She already asked you to fuck her.

Any day that passes is a day that you're missing out.

Just text and invite her to do something (what're you up to tonight? I got a couple of tickets to this)

King Rudi · 10-16-2018, 05:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

Ok, serious question: my 9 year old boy has a best bud that is over to the house all the time. His mom is recently divorced as am I and I think she's kinda cute. Problem #1 idk if she is dating anyone and problem #2 I would never want any kind of awkwardness between the mom and I if she is dating someone/not interested. #highschoollife

Does she seem to flirt with you at all?

What sort of physical activity do the two boys like to do (is there a sport they like to do, or maybe do they still play on the playground, or is there a facility nearby like trampoline, rock climbing, etc)? Maybe you suggest a "play date" for the boys doing whatever this activity is and you two will just watch them. Gives you an opportunity to talk to her, maybe grab a coffee while waiting and see if there's interest. How she responds to suggesting a play date may also be a clue as to her interest.

Solid advice here. Pass on asking her to decorate, but you could ask her for advise on activities for the birthday party. This will open up dialogue to feel her out and also make you look vulnerable, (women love this shit) this will also make you look like super dad in her eyes, this will also make her feel like you value her opinion...all pluses. Next time you are around her, pay close attention to her body language, tone of voice and eyes. If she's interested, she'll leave subtle clues to let you know. Pass on straight up asking if she is dating someone, this will only leave awkwardness in the event that she is. If she is seeing someone and it isn't serious, there is still potential to get to know her further without creating the weirdness.

Ask for her input on festivity activities and see whether or not she opens up. Get back to us and let us know how it goes.

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 05:11 PM

She actually initiated the conversation and activities for my boys birthday party. She suggested the mobile video game RV which I rented for the day

King Rudi · 10-16-2018, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

She actually initiated the conversation and activities for my boys birthday party. She suggested the mobile video game RV which I rented for the day

Delve deeper sir. When is the party?

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Does she seem to flirt with you at all?

What sort of physical activity do the two boys like to do (is there a sport they like to do, or maybe do they still play on the playground, or is there a facility nearby like trampoline, rock climbing, etc)? Maybe you suggest a "play date" for the boys doing whatever this activity is and you two will just watch them. Gives you an opportunity to talk to her, maybe grab a coffee while waiting and see if there's interest. How she responds to suggesting a play date may also be a clue as to her interest.

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

**

Sure sounds to me like she is flirting a bit. I'd say there is enough interest to reach out, but then, I've also been out of the dating game for about 12 years too, so don't take my words as gospel. On the other hand, presumably, she's been out of the game as well for quite some time if she just got divorced, so there's that working in your favour - she also doesn't know what to do either.

I take offense at your vacuum cleaner comment - it was a blender sir. A blender. That is what I got my wife for her Christmas present. Actually, in truth, because it was about $600, it was also her birthday present plus Christmas present. If I'm ever in your area, I expect an invitation over for a free beer (or two) to atone for your comments.

btw, I probably wouldn't ask her to help you decorate the house...at the very most I would mention it in passing if you see her that you are going to decorate the house and see if she volunteers to help (I don't think she will), but wouldn't ask her.

I got my ex a $600 blender for Christmas that she asked for. And now I'm divorced.

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 05:15 PM

Party is November 10 if anyone is interested in the video game RV holds 28 people

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 05:18 PM

OK so I am considering asking her if she has her son this upcoming weekend because I have my boys and I'm going to take them to the corn maze. Ask her to come along?

________ · 10-16-2018, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

OK so I am considering asking her if she has her son this upcoming weekend because I have my boys and I'm going to take them to the corn maze. Ask her to come along?

Do eeet

King Rudi · 10-16-2018, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

OK so I am considering asking her if she has her son this upcoming weekend because I have my boys and I'm going to take them to the corn maze. Ask her to come along?

Absolutely. This will show her you aren't opposed to spending time with her kid and yours. This is a big deal in dating in today's society.

________ · 10-16-2018, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

OK so I am considering asking her if she has her son this upcoming weekend because I have my boys and I'm going to take them to the corn maze. Ask her to come along?

Absolutely. This will show her you aren't opposed to spending time with her kid and yours. This is a big deal in dating in today's society.

I thought he meant if she didn't have her kid(s).
Either way is good, but it'd be even more solid if she attended even without her kids.

King Rudi · 10-16-2018, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

OK so I am considering asking her if she has her son this upcoming weekend because I have my boys and I'm going to take them to the corn maze. Ask her to come along?

Absolutely. This will show her you aren't opposed to spending time with her kid and yours. This is a big deal in dating in today's society.

I thought he meant if she didn't have her kid(s).
Either way is good, but it'd be even more solid if she attended even without her kids.

Agreed. With or without her offspring, her presence is required.

upstatedoc · 10-16-2018, 06:02 PM

OK any last pearls of advice before I zip off of the text?

________ · 10-16-2018, 06:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

OK any last pearls of advice before I zip off of the text?

Finish the text with "I love you very much"

________ · 10-16-2018, 06:40 PM

Soooooo what'd you say and what'd she say!?

10-05-2018, 02:29 PM	#815
King Rudi Lieutenant Colonel 13154 Rep 1,965 Posts Drives: Meat Suit Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Planet Earth iTrader: (0)	I don't feel as if I really have a claim to voice much of an opinion on this topic as I'm a white guy and to be honest, I don't know of the struggles that black males go through other than what I see on the news or social media. I'm not saying that claims aren't valid, but from a guy who lives in predominantly white southern town, the black friends that I have seem to have no problem with the ladies here. The jealous rednecks in this area are different story, but my black friends have no problems whatsoever with women. I know several very attractive women who have told me that if I were black I would be husband material. I guess this goes both ways. I know how it made me feel to be attracted to someone and get along with them really well but be shot down because of my race. I'd hate to see this thread be turned into a racial situations as it's just fact that being single and dating life in this era blows....regardless of what color you are.
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10-05-2018, 04:13 PM	#816
Turkish Pickle Banned 3084 Rep 381 Posts Drives: '21 330i xDrive Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Chicago, IL iTrader: (0) Garage List 2021 BMW 330i xDrive [10.00]	its 2018, the only thing white men have easier is being called privileged by landwhales
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10-16-2018, 01:27 PM	#818
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7559 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	Ok, serious question: my 9 year old boy has a best bud that is over to the house all the time. His mom is recently divorced as am I and I think she's kinda cute. Problem #1 idk if she is dating anyone and problem #2 I would never want any kind of awkwardness between the mom and I if she is dating someone/not interested. #highschoollife __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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10-16-2018, 03:12 PM	#823
________ ________ 4159 Rep 2,301 Posts Drives: ________ Join Date: Sep 2018 Location: ________ iTrader: (0)	She already asked you to fuck her. Any day that passes is a day that you're missing out. Just text and invite her to do something (what're you up to tonight? I got a couple of tickets to this)
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10-16-2018, 05:11 PM	#825
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7559 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	She actually initiated the conversation and activities for my boys birthday party. She suggested the mobile video game RV which I rented for the day __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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10-16-2018, 05:15 PM	#828
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7559 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	Party is November 10 if anyone is interested in the video game RV holds 28 people __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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10-16-2018, 05:18 PM	#829
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7559 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	OK so I am considering asking her if she has her son this upcoming weekend because I have my boys and I'm going to take them to the corn maze. Ask her to come along? __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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10-16-2018, 06:02 PM	#834
upstatedoc I'll get back to you 7559 Rep 2,132 Posts Drives: blue streak Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: not downstate iTrader: (2)	OK any last pearls of advice before I zip off of the text? __________________ 2018 Stinger GT 2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/ Countermeasure enthusiast.
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10-16-2018, 06:40 PM	#836
________ ________ 4159 Rep 2,301 Posts Drives: ________ Join Date: Sep 2018 Location: ________ iTrader: (0)	Soooooo what'd you say and what'd she say!?
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