BMW 1-Series Forum (F20) 135i - 1Addicts.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > Dating - Good/Bad Experiences
Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      03-17-2022, 08:49 PM   #12739
shoei
Banned
7775
Rep
2,602
Posts

Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peeing in your garden

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Is 29 really "too old" to consider having kids?

I'm fucked lmao

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chihuahua View Post
I experienced 'the one that got away', and it has haunted me daily for the past 19 years. Feel free to PM me if you want the full story. Don't fuck this up my friend.
How/when did you realize that she is the "one that got away", like what made you accept it as so?
Stop. Do not compare scenarios. This isn't where you need to come to get advice lol.

Don't trip. I promise you, none of your ex's are the one you let get away, lol. You haven't even figured yourself out yet!!!
Appreciate 0
      03-17-2022, 08:55 PM   #12740
Turkish Pickle
Banned
United_States
3080
Rep
381
Posts

Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Stop. Do not compare scenarios. This isn't where you need to come to get advice lol.

Don't trip. I promise you, none of your ex's are the one you let get away, lol. You haven't even figured yourself out yet!!!
I'm not comparing scenarios, it was a genuine curiosity. I'm pretty certain none of my exes are "the one that got away". If they are the best I could do, I will gracefully jump off my rooftop.

It just sounded like he accepted that as is and it doesn't strike me as being something easy to accept, hence my curiosity. There's gotta be a "fuuuuuuuuuuuuck" moment.
Appreciate 0
      03-17-2022, 09:33 PM   #12741
shoei
Banned
7775
Rep
2,602
Posts

Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peeing in your garden

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Stop. Do not compare scenarios. This isn't where you need to come to get advice lol.

Don't trip. I promise you, none of your ex's are the one you let get away, lol. You haven't even figured yourself out yet!!!
I'm not comparing scenarios, it was a genuine curiosity. I'm pretty certain none of my exes are "the one that got away". If they are the best I could do, I will gracefully jump off my rooftop.

It just sounded like he accepted that as is and it doesn't strike me as being something easy to accept, hence my curiosity. There's gotta be a "fuuuuuuuuuuuuck" moment.
It's because his mindset is different. He's not looking at this scenario any differently than say two different religions or two different cultures but one of the cultures doesn't accept the other.

There isn't anything inherently wrong with his ex - he has a vision of his perfect partner and she didn't check off all the boxes. In other words, he's not a hopeless romantic and assume all endings are like Hollywood movies. The man chose comfort and lifestyle accustomed to vs the love of my life. In a nutshell, love isn't his top priority. Success is and accomplishing his goals.

The part where he gets kudos is he's willing to view things in other perspectives and in my opinion? Only healthy people can wish the other partner happiness and success. He even said he hopes she finds somebody wonderful. Doesn't mean he ain't a good person - they just weren't the right fit. Coming to that realization and doing something healthy about it doesn't make you a terrible person. Sure, to her maybe but that too shall pass and if she's in a healthy mindset, eventually she'll appreciate that he didn't waste her time. Well, sometimes they come to that realization lol.

Point is, Pickle. There isn't a one stop shop for this kind of thing. What works for him and what made him realize isn't going to be the same for everybody. The shit that comes out of my mouth for example? If and when my friends try it, it's usually followed with a slap or hostility. Everyone's different.

Truth be told, I agree with him. Not the business aspect approach to relationships, the cutting someone out because you know that YOU aren't good for them. Trickier is cutting people out that aren't good for you, but I get the feeling he doesn't play that game either. To some, his approach might be cold and calculating but news flash, there's plenty of successful women out there that operate the same way.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 01:55 AM   #12742
premier3is
Major
premier3is's Avatar
1626
Rep
1,002
Posts

Drives: 2019 BMW 330i M-Sport
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: CA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Germanauto View Post
I foolishy got back with my ex and had to break up with her again, hurting her twice in the process. I'm 29 and she's 34. I'm not ready for marriage/children and I my conscience wouldn't allow me to continue stringing her along emotionally and wasting her time. I'm in Medicine and doing my Residency, so haven't even had my first real job yet and figured out what I want out of life.

If I stayed with this lady, it puts a lot of pressure on me internally to tie things down really quickly. She's not pushing me into marriage/children, but when a lady is 34 these things have to be on an expedited path. Also, given the exploding cost of living especially here in Los Angeles, I'll admit that her $100k salary just didn't seem enough to me for the lifestyle I always expected for myself. Clearly, fear of true commitment was an issue here

Somebody enlighten me here, have I been a gigantic asshole? Is it wrong to consider money? Is my thought process totally f'ed up and i need to mature? She loved me dearly and I think I love her too. No woman has ever respected me like this or been as accommodating and kind to me. However the practical side of my mind just wouldn't leave me alone here. Love is one component to a relationship, but for a lifelong marriage I don't feel it's wise to ignore the practical side of things.

Somebody talk sense into me. My greatest fear is that she could be "the one who got away" and it would all be of my doing.
Life isn't all about money dude…

Find the person you enjoy being with for who and what they are, not for the material things that could come from a relationship. That does not bring happiness.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 07:56 AM   #12743
Chihuahua
Brigadier General
Chihuahua's Avatar
3778
Rep
3,055
Posts

Drives: E30 329iS, E65 Alpina B7
Join Date: May 2012
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Is 29 really "too old" to consider having kids?

I'm fucked lmao



How/when did you realize that she is the "one that got away", like what made you accept it as so?
29 is most certainly NOT too old to have kids. Not even close. Hell, I'm 46 and I haven't given up on the idea of having kids.

It's a long story, and I'm not really one to share too much on an open forum like this, but I knew it right away and I never will be able to fully accept it. it's torturous at times, which is why I tell people if you meet your 'one' DO NOT fuck it up because you probably won't get a second chance.
Appreciate 1
      03-18-2022, 09:30 AM   #12744
Alfisti
Colonel
6197
Rep
2,892
Posts

Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada

iTrader: (0)

29 isn't too old to have kids but if you plan on having kids, by 29 you need to be seriously exploring the option/looking for right partner. By the time you find someone, give it some time, get hitched etc it'll be 3 years, now you're 32....... that's as late as i'd leave the first.

35 sounds young but have your second at 38, by the time that kid is 12 you're fucking 50. 50. that's old.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 10:36 AM   #12745
CTinline-six
Hoonigan
CTinline-six's Avatar
United_States
6737
Rep
2,992
Posts

Drives: '09 328i, '98 Wrangler
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Connecticut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
LOL @ all these people claiming you have to be X years old to have kids or you might as well not do it.

Sure, it would be ideal, but at 31 years old I'd rather get married to an amazing woman at 40 and adopt kids if having my own isn't possible than go through what some of my already divorced with 2 kids friends are going through right now. Finding the right person is much more important than having kids by a certain age.
__________________
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
Appreciate 4
shoei7775.00
antgenn283.00
      03-18-2022, 10:46 AM   #12746
shoei
Banned
7775
Rep
2,602
Posts

Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peeing in your garden

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
LOL @ all these people claiming you have to be X years old to have kids or you might as well not do it.

Sure, it would be ideal, but at 31 years old I'd rather get married to an amazing woman at 40 and adopt kids if having my own isn't possible than go through what some of my already divorced with 2 kids friends are going through right now. Finding the right person is much more important than having kids by a certain age.
I'm glad I'm not the only one scratching my head. Setting time table to pop out kids seem like a recipe for disaster or settling. Also, all this about "The One". The fuck is this, the Matrix?

Look, I can probably squeeze in a couple more adoptions before I'm tapped out with holidays and crap I'd have to spend with said "parents" during holidays to stay in the will. Point is, don't worry about the kids part - I'll hand out some adoption papers shortly.

It may not seem like it now, but lemme tell you, it could be a hell of a lot worse.
Appreciate 1
      03-18-2022, 10:53 AM   #12747
Alfisti
Colonel
6197
Rep
2,892
Posts

Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
LOL @ all these people claiming you have to be X years old to have kids or you might as well not do it.

Sure, it would be ideal, but at 31 years old I'd rather get married to an amazing woman at 40 and adopt kids if having my own isn't possible than go through what some of my already divorced with 2 kids friends are going through right now. Finding the right person is much more important than having kids by a certain age.
No one is saying that is not the case, the discussion started with a dude saying "great girl but not ready for kids yet" ..... he's 29, if not "now" (which is likely 31 or 32 by the time they sort everything out) ....then when? He found the girl, just doesn't want kids "yet"..... again... then when?

You guys are a bunch of a fucking sewing circle women putting words into people's mouths. There's context t the discussion.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 11:41 AM   #12748
ryan stewart
Major
2187
Rep
1,319
Posts

Drives: 2008 328it
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

Yeah I didnt read it as 29 is the age. More "you need to make a decision." You might decide, "Yeah, I want kids, but not right now" But make the decision if you are dealing with a girl who wants kids.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 12:40 PM   #12749
Alfisti
Colonel
6197
Rep
2,892
Posts

Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada

iTrader: (0)

Time just gets away from you is all i am saying. 29 you're thinking, I'm only 29, but realistically, you are nudging 35 by the time you have your second one. The process takes time, as we all agree one doesn't want to make a mistake. So find the right girl, date, sort out inevitable issues, propose, find a home, wedding, honeymoon etc.... that'll take 3 years and this assumes you conceive without issue and the older the woman the harder it is to conceive.

Kids are tough in a two income household, it is a lot of work, it is exhausting, you're likely to gain weight, your job will demand more from you as you're now in your mid 30's etc. You get less patient as you age too, and kids need a lot of patience.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 01:15 PM   #12750
Watching The World Burn
Lengthy but not a Girthy Member
957
Rep
130
Posts

Drives: 1971 Honda Civic
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Riding the high seas of your emotions

iTrader: (0)

All hail the shining beacon of patience ITT....


Nah, but really, you are going to lose your ever loving mind with your kids. A lot. They know exactly which buttons to press, and what's really fun, is they know of buttons that you didn't even know were there until they stomp on it. Those are the absolute best ones, because then both parties are surprised with the outcome.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 01:18 PM   #12751
Alfisti
Colonel
6197
Rep
2,892
Posts

Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada

iTrader: (0)

I literally just lost it on them as they are home for march break. I am trying to work and do 10 other things at once and for the umpteenth time today they are loudly bickering over nothing.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 01:29 PM   #12752
Watching The World Burn
Lengthy but not a Girthy Member
957
Rep
130
Posts

Drives: 1971 Honda Civic
Join Date: Aug 2017
Location: Riding the high seas of your emotions

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
I literally just lost it on them as they are home for march break. I am trying to work and do 10 other things at once and for the umpteenth time today they are loudly bickering over nothing.
Yes, if either I or my wife need to jump on a work call upstairs (assuming we are the only one home with them and we don't have the other to maintain order), we go through the same routine each time.

Specifically, they'll be sitting on the couch downstairs, peacefully watching a show or playing, all is beautifully calm, we'll tell them we are taking an important call upstairs so NO FIGHTING, and NO loud noises. Vehement agreement on their end that yes, absolutely, they fully understand and will be quiet as mice and will under no circumstances do anything to interrupt the call.

The poor individual currently tasked with watching them creeps upstairs to take the call, thinking that this time will be different. Inevitably, 2 minutes into the call, EVERY SINGLE TIME, Mt. Vesuvius erupts downstairs and you can hardly hear yourself on the call anymore.

Finish the call, go downstairs, lose your mind at them, rinse and repeat.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 02:04 PM   #12753
Alfisti
Colonel
6197
Rep
2,892
Posts

Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada

iTrader: (0)

It's the relentlessness of it, if they are not staring at a screen they are bickering over the most pointless shit. Happens dozens of times a day and by 2pm i'm gonna choke em. We have had them home fo r2 years too so that hasn't helped, went back to school Feb 22nd so it's only been a few weeks then back on top of us again.
Appreciate 0
      03-18-2022, 02:19 PM   #12754
Turkish Pickle
Banned
United_States
3080
Rep
381
Posts

Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chihuahua View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Is 29 really "too old" to consider having kids?

I'm fucked lmao



How/when did you realize that she is the "one that got away", like what made you accept it as so?
29 is most certainly NOT too old to have kids. Not even close. Hell, I'm 46 and I haven't given up on the idea of having kids.

It's a long story, and I'm not really one to share too much on an open forum like this, but I knew it right away and I never will be able to fully accept it. it's torturous at times, which is why I tell people if you meet your 'one' DO NOT fuck it up because you probably won't get a second chance.
I understand, thank you for sharing.

@ having kids at 29; that was a "im fucked lol" out of "im 24 and i barely can take care of my own self, 29 is 5 years away". i do want to have a kid and a family one day, but not today or anywhere near today. thank you for those who clarified it to being conscious of what you want.
Appreciate 0
      03-20-2022, 12:03 PM   #12755
Sara
Lieutenant General
5761
Rep
17,879
Posts

Drives: A car
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nola

iTrader: (6)

Quote:
Originally Posted by ///d View Post
I don't miss him.

Speaking of people that are no longer here... where the hell is Sara?! She still going strong with Mr. Top Gun?
I'm right here It's been an amazing 7 months and hoping for many more with him. He is the kindest person I've ever met. He's just wonderful. Here's some pics from yesterday's air show. If anyone has my IG, I posted a lot of videos from the show there.

I'm currently on the couch fried as a tomato and I haven't logged on here in a while. Figured I'd say hi to everyone. Hope all of you are doing well

Last edited by Sara; 03-27-2022 at 09:38 AM..
Appreciate 13
Dino GT35100.00
vreihen1613494.50
Dang3r12499.00
cmyx6go15202.00
///d1738.00
TiMSport12771.50
BMWGUYinCO3804.50
wtwo316941.00
shoei7775.00
      03-21-2022, 05:42 AM   #12756
Dang3r
Schmollbraten
Dang3r's Avatar
Germany
12499
Rep
1,985
Posts

Drives: M4CPC // HP4 Comp.
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Liandri Central Core

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara View Post
I'm right here It's been an amazing 7 months and hoping for many more with him. He is the kindest person I've ever met. He's just wonderful. Here's some pics from yesterday's air show. If anyone has my IG, I posted a lot of videos from the show there.

I'm currently on the couch fried as a tomato and I haven't logged on here in a while. Figured I'd say hi to everyone. Hope all of you are doing well
Those are really good news and Im happy for you that the continious approaches and long lap patterns had lead to a fair and final landing, so to speak
__________________
Citizen of ///M - Town, where too much is just right

Some say, that my scrotum has its own small gravity field and when Im slowing down that brake lights come on at my buttox
Appreciate 2
cmyx6go15202.00
Sara5761.00
      03-21-2022, 05:22 PM   #12757
Sara
Lieutenant General
5761
Rep
17,879
Posts

Drives: A car
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nola

iTrader: (6)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dang3r View Post
Those are really good news and Im happy for you that the continious approaches and long lap patterns had lead to a fair and final landing, so to speak
Thank you
Appreciate 1
Dang3r12499.00
      03-23-2022, 02:08 PM   #12758
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
7258
Rep
11,744
Posts

Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [9.33]
well well well look who it is.. Ms ICE
Appreciate 1
UncleWede17374.00
      03-23-2022, 07:21 PM   #12759
Sara
Lieutenant General
5761
Rep
17,879
Posts

Drives: A car
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nola

iTrader: (6)

Quote:
Originally Posted by nyalpine90 View Post
well well well look who it is.. Ms ICE
Hey, Mother Goose, how’s it going?

Appreciate 0
      03-24-2022, 09:59 AM   #12760
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
7258
Rep
11,744
Posts

Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [9.33]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara View Post
Hey, Mother Goose, how’s it going?

all good here!
so how its going with Maverick>
Appreciate 1
Sara5761.00
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:31 PM.




1addicts
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2023, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST