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      03-27-2019, 02:52 PM   #3763
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Originally Posted by zentanker View Post
When I lived in Austin, I liked to walk the Town Lake Trail which is now called "Lady Bird Lake".

I have a brick there with my name on it. When she asked me 'have you been here before?

it wasn't really a rock. Just a bit of gravel.


I took her home afterwards, and that was the end of the trail.
$10 says your name is very common, like chris or alex
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      03-27-2019, 02:54 PM   #3764
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Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
$10 says your name is very common, like chris or alex

jay
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      03-27-2019, 03:12 PM   #3765
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Originally Posted by zentanker View Post
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
I would start with the story behind the one that threw rocks at you. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would be interested in hearing the story behind this.

When I lived in Austin, I liked to walk the Town Lake Trail which is now called "Lady Bird Lake".

I have a brick there with my name on it. When she asked me 'have you been here before?

it wasn't really a rock. Just a bit of gravel.


I took her home afterwards, and that was the end of the trail.
I won't lie the disappointment in this story is similar to waiting months for Glass to be released in the theaters. The anticipation mounted, then I watched the movie.....I have the same look on my face I had at the end of the movie.

Give it another go. Tell us about some crazy shit that you've experienced with the other sex. Surely there's a good story in there somewhere.
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      03-27-2019, 06:25 PM   #3766
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
I won't lie the disappointment in this story is similar to waiting months for Glass to be released in the theaters. The anticipation mounted, then I watched the movie.....I have the same look on my face I had at the end of the movie.

Give it another go. Tell us about some crazy shit that you've experienced with the other sex. Surely there's a good story in there somewhere.
Surprise buttsex in a cheap appartment?
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      03-27-2019, 09:07 PM   #3767
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Originally Posted by zentanker View Post
Surprise buttsex in a cheap appartment?
Come on mans, this is leaking out like lost Clinton emails!
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      03-27-2019, 10:59 PM   #3768
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Originally Posted by kscarrol View Post
Come on mans, this is leaking out like lost Clinton emails!

I met a woman on 6th Street in Austin. It was in a super-cheesy club that no longer exists. She approached me and I wouldn't do anything, because I was already chatting up another girl that was at the table I was sitting at.

She actually found that admirable, and gave me her number. Yay, chivalry?

Nothing happened with the girl I was talking to.

But I kept the other girl's number.

Our first date, I had a hickey on my neck (different story) that I tried to hide. She finally saw it, and that was awkward. We had drinks, and that was it, I didn't think I'd ever see her again.
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      03-27-2019, 11:10 PM   #3769
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A few days later, she decided she needed a belly piercing, and called me for help. "Will you help me change my bellybutton ring? After that, you have to go."

After she got the piercing, she wanted me to change the stud.

She laid back on a beanbag and I changed her ring. As I did it, I was sure to lean just a bit into her thighs more than necessary and I kept my face close to her while I asked her "you okay?" "It doesn't hurt?"

I got up, collected my stuff and went home
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      03-27-2019, 11:13 PM   #3770
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When I got home, I had a nasty message waiting for me. I don't remember what it said, but she wasn't happy.
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      03-27-2019, 11:25 PM   #3771
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After the great tease, we dated for a few months. So long in fact, that I helped her move into a new apartment, and long story short, I'd had her every way but... well butt

One night we were spoonin, and I started rubbing her pussy and worked up to her ass and she was squirming in a good way. So I thought


Once my head got into her, she bolted from the bed against the wall. She was sitting on the floor, naked, and shocked. After a couple of seconds, she bolted to the bathroom and then went to her living room.

welp that was a failed experiment.


hours passed

I was still sleeping in her bed when she opened the door and said: "if you ever do that again I'm going to kill you!" .

And she slammed the door again.



I learned my lesson. Molly don't want no buttsex.
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      03-28-2019, 01:41 AM   #3772
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10/10 was worth the wait
did NOT expect that
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      03-28-2019, 02:13 AM   #3773
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
10/10 was worth the wait
did NOT expect that

Much of my life is a comedy of errors, and sometimes it keeps me awake at night. That was nothing compared to the morning I woke up naked and 3 people had made fajitas on top of me.
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      03-28-2019, 07:53 AM   #3774
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentanker View Post
After the great tease, we dated for a few months. So long in fact, that I helped her move into a new apartment, and long story short, I'd had her every way but... well butt

One night we were spoonin, and I started rubbing her pussy and worked up to her ass and she was squirming in a good way. So I thought


Once my head got into her, she bolted from the bed against the wall. She was sitting on the floor, naked, and shocked. After a couple of seconds, she bolted to the bathroom and then went to her living room.

welp that was a failed experiment.


hours passed

I was still sleeping in her bed when she opened the door and said: "if you ever do that again I'm going to kill you!" .

And she slammed the door again.



I learned my lesson. Molly don't want no buttsex.
Ok, ok....you have redeemed yourself here.

Disclaimer to future readers. Butt sex is a no unless she offers it. If you ask for it, they may still say yes but doesn't mean they are going to enjoy it. If it's a girl that enjoys it, trust me, she will let you know. Best advice I can offer, if she doesn't offer it, don't ask for it. Appreciate the fact that she wants to give you anything at all and leave it at that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zentanker View Post
Much of my life is a comedy of errors, and sometimes it keeps me awake at night. That was nothing compared to the morning I woke up naked and 3 people had made fajitas on top of me.
Brother, that's all of us. We all learn what is socially acceptable, what women like/dislike and what our bodies are capable of by trial and error....usually stupid errors.

Naked wakedness by being used as a human fajita skillet? Perhaps we need to start a "Waking up the day after" thread and bizarre situations we have found ourselves in. Could be some gold on here.
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      03-28-2019, 09:34 AM   #3775
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zentanker View Post
Much of my life is a comedy of errors, and sometimes it keeps me awake at night. That was nothing compared to the morning I woke up naked and 3 people had made fajitas on top of me.
You win.
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      03-28-2019, 09:38 AM   #3776
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Ok, ok....you have redeemed yourself here.

Disclaimer to future readers. Butt sex is a no unless she offers it. If you ask for it, they may still say yes but doesn't mean they are going to enjoy it. If it's a girl that enjoys it, trust me, she will let you know. Best advice I can offer, if she doesn't offer it, don't ask for it. Appreciate the fact that she wants to give you anything at all and leave it at that.



Brother, that's all of us. We all learn what is socially acceptable, what women like/dislike and what our bodies are capable of by trial and error....usually stupid errors.

Naked wakedness by being used as a human fajita skillet? Perhaps we need to start a "Waking up the day after" thread and bizarre situations we have found ourselves in. Could be some gold on here.
This could be good.

To contribute to the butt information. I did have the awkward, "Listen, I can't do anal because I had a procedure about two weeks ago that isn't fully healed. I'll be good to go after that."

Apparently the anal warning on the first date is a real thing because that's the second time it's happened to me.
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      03-28-2019, 09:45 AM   #3777
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kscarrol View Post
Come on mans, this is leaking out like lost Clinton emails!
And look, you should not be using the word LEAKING in the section talking about butt sex. It's just bad form.
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      03-28-2019, 09:45 AM   #3778
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Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post

Apparently the anal warning on the first date is a real thing because that's the second time it's happened to me.
Dude....about 4-5 years ago it seemed that every girl that I......um....."encountered" wanted anal. It was the craziest thing. One right after the other for the entire summer wanted it and was very vocal about it. I honestly didn't know what to think. Oddly enough, I didn't take advantage of it with a single one of them. If it's topic of conversation on the first date before we even finish dinner this is a HUGE red flag to me. Some of them even begged for it. Each of them I only saw once. I discussed this with my married friends and they looked at me like I was lying to them right before they either smacked me or gave me hell for not taking advantage of it. The times have changed for sure.
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      03-28-2019, 10:29 AM   #3779
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Dude....about 4-5 years ago it seemed that every girl that I......um....."encountered" wanted anal. It was the craziest thing. One right after the other for the entire summer wanted it and was very vocal about it. I honestly didn't know what to think. Oddly enough, I didn't take advantage of it with a single one of them. If it's topic of conversation on the first date before we even finish dinner this is a HUGE red flag to me. Some of them even begged for it. Each of them I only saw once. I discussed this with my married friends and they looked at me like I was lying to them right before they either smacked me or gave me hell for not taking advantage of it. The times have changed for sure.
Finish dinner?!?!!! It was the topic after the second sip of our first drink.
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      03-28-2019, 10:56 AM   #3780
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
"Waking up the day after"
HS, bunch of us went skiing. I apparently had a hypglycemia (I now blame it on the alcohol screwing with the liver and not allowing it to secrete glucagon) and well, things happened.

Next morning, friends are telling me about me trying to inject Vaseline. BULL SHIT!! I take the lid off the jar, and there are telltale signs of needles being inserted into the top of the gel

Insulin is a TERRIBLE drug!!!!!
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      03-28-2019, 10:59 AM   #3781
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Disclaimer to future readers. Butt sex is a no unless she offers it. If you ask for it, they may still say yes but doesn't mean they are going to enjoy it. If it's a girl that enjoys it, trust me, she will let you know. Best advice I can offer, if she doesn't offer it, don't ask for it.



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      03-28-2019, 11:07 AM   #3782
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Dude....about 4-5 years ago it seemed that every girl that I......um....."encountered" wanted anal. It was the craziest thing. One right after the other for the entire summer wanted it and was very vocal about it. I honestly didn't know what to think. Oddly enough, I didn't take advantage of it with a single one of them. If it's topic of conversation on the first date before we even finish dinner this is a HUGE red flag to me. Some of them even begged for it. Each of them I only saw once. I discussed this with my married friends and they looked at me like I was lying to them right before they either smacked me or gave me hell for not taking advantage of it. The times have changed for sure.

The crazy thing about the 3rd input is... once you get over the initial push you end up thinking 'ugh, why the fuck did I even want to do this in the first place!?'
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      03-28-2019, 11:13 AM   #3783
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If it's topic of conversation on the first date before we even finish dinner this is a HUGE red flag to me.

Why? I'm sure your Mom would have loved to meet that nice lady.
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      03-28-2019, 12:07 PM   #3784
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i was flaked on with the excuse "my dad's car broke down so he's taking mine to go to work, i can't make it today"

im installing grindr, screw this
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