[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Not living together, she would stay over for extended periods of time. I don't necessarily think it has to do with anyone else (obviously I could be wrong). I think it has more to do with fear of commitment, seeing things were getting serious, etc. I have a stable job, house, my family lives close by, l've pretty much lived in the same area most of my life. She wants to travel the world, not be tied down, join the peace corps, that sort of thing. Her reasoning was "we are on different paths right now".

This is someone who held my hand pretty much the entire weekend we spent away together, so that's why I'm confused.

i think you know, its hard to accept it but let her go.
her "reasoning" is enough to part ways. Time heals all wounds
been there done it. keep your head up.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CaptObvious

How the hell are we supposed to trust any woman? I don't know that I ever will after all the hell I've been through.

I still have issues. The current girlfriend has given me not a single reason not to trust her but at this point I'm not so much worried about her screwing me over as much I am worried about in the event that something were to happen, I don't want to be devastated again. This is why it's just easier not to become emotionally attached to anything.....especially people.

Another shitty story. Same girl two years prior. She comes over to the house one night after work, we're making out, things get heavy and I go down.....immediately tasted condom. FUCKING GRRRRrrrrr.

[________]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I still have issues. The current girlfriend has given me not a single reason not to trust her but at this point I'm not so much worried about her screwing me over as much I am worried about in the event that something were to happen, I don't want to be devastated again. This is why it's just easier not to become emotionally attached to anything.....especially people.

Another shitty story. Same girl two years prior. She comes over to the house one night after work, we're making out, things get heavy and I go down.....immediately tasted condom. FUCKING GRRRRrrrrr.

Damn...

Any job openings in your office?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Damn...

Any job openings in your office?

Dammit Onesy! I'm telling you about my "distaste" (see what I did there? ) with a past relationship and you use this as a segue into job openings???

There is nothing in this office that you want sir. I consider it an endurance test for financial gain.....and all day paid bimmerpost of course.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

i think you know, its hard to accept it but let her go.
her "reasoning" is enough to part ways. Time heals all wounds
been there done it. keep your head up.

I guess I should also mention the backstory to this.


We met in college, 7 years ago. We dated briefly for a few months, she told me her heart was mine, etc. After graduation, she got a job a few states away and we broke up. She dated another guy during that time, I dated someone else also. Both of us broke up with people we were with over the course of that time period, and out of the blue she reached out to me through Facebook. Which is what started the whole thing of us getting together again.

Very strange. Usually for me relationships are not back and forth like this.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I still have issues. The current girlfriend has given me not a single reason not to trust her but at this point I'm not so much worried about her screwing me over as much I am worried about in the event that something were to happen, I don't want to be devastated again. This is why it's just easier not to become emotionally attached to anything.....especially people.

Another shitty story. Same girl two years prior. She comes over to the house one night after work, we're making out, things get heavy and I go down.....immediately tasted condom. FUCKING GRRRRrrrrr.

oh man... i think i wouldve went randy savage on her



and then....

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I guess I should also mention the backstory to this.


We met in college, 7 years ago. We dated briefly for a few months, she told me her heart was mine, etc. After graduation, she got a job a few states away and we broke up. She dated another guy during that time, I dated someone else also. Both of us broke up with people we were with over the course of that time period, and out of the blue she reached out to me through Facebook. Which is what started the whole thing of us getting together again.

Very strange. Usually for me relationships are not back and forth like this.

she is doing it again...smh

[________]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Dammit Onesy! I'm telling you about my "distaste" (see what I did there? ) with a past relationship and you use this as a segue into job openings???

There is nothing in this office that you want sir. I consider it an endurance test for financial gain.....and all day paid bimmerpost of course.

I figured I'd have to live close to these hos

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

she is doing it again...smh

This.

[________]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I guess I should also mention the backstory to this.


We met in college, 7 years ago. We dated briefly for a few months, she told me her heart was mine, etc. After graduation, she got a job a few states away and we broke up. She dated another guy during that time, I dated someone else also. Both of us broke up with people we were with over the course of that time period, and out of the blue she reached out to me through Facebook. Which is what started the whole thing of us getting together again.

Very strange. Usually for me relationships are not back and forth like this.

This to me is akin to the girls that only have relationships up to mardi grass or spring break. By then they break it off to "think things over", and want to reconcile after they're done. Til next year.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

This to me is akin to the girls that only have relationships up to mardi grass or spring break. By then they break it off to "think things over", and want to reconcile after they're done. Til next year.

or worse, find a boy because it's "cuffing season" and enjoy the perks of being in a relationship and break up right before spring break so she can have more "fun"

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

she is doing it again...smh

Yup, more texts. I'm not sure why you would keep taunting someone if you don't have feelings for them anymore.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by CaptObvious

WTH is cuffing?

i don't know the exact meaning, but cuffing season is right before "pumpkin everything" times where chicks look for someone cuddly to spend the cold times inside with someone

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Yup, more texts. I'm not sure why you would keep taunting someone if you don't have feelings for them anymore.

because i feel like you're that good guy who she can get serious with, and she knows this, but also feels like she's too young to settle down with anyone so she wants to go and have "fun". chances are she'll try to keep you on the hook while she messes around during school and then hit you up after that.

this might sound harsh, but your best bet is to change yourself for the better.
women absolutely HATE it when they see you're thriving without them, and you're doing better for yourself too.

stuff like if you smoke quit it, start hitting the gym etc. it is hard after a breakup to get back on your feet, yes, but if you fell every time you stumbled you wouldn't be able to walk forward at all

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

oh man... i think i wouldve went randy savage on her



and then....

Without waking her up, I slid out from under her head and let myself out. After I left I sent her a text that read, "You obviously no longer need me. See the message below mine."

She of course went ape shit and it was all my fault because I read her text message.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Without waking her up, I slid out from under her head and let myself out. After I left I sent her a text that read, "You obviously no longer need me. See the message below mine."

She of course went ape shit and it was all my fault because I read her text message.

Thats the moment i wouldve elbow drop her, then walk out.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

because i feel like you're that good guy who she can get serious with, and she knows this, but also feels like she's too young to settle down with anyone so she wants to go and have "fun". chances are she'll try to keep you on the hook while she messes around during school and then hit you up after that.

this might sound harsh, but your best bet is to change yourself for the better.
women absolutely HATE it when they see you're thriving without them, and you're doing better for yourself too.

stuff like if you smoke quit it, start hitting the gym etc. it is hard after a breakup to get back on your feet, yes, but if you fell every time you stumbled you wouldn't be able to walk forward at all

This! As I was leaving the gym last night I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past few years. I should have gone to the gym back during the times I suffered through my depression.

Something else to consider. Let her have her fun while you have yours. I've been considering open relationship type mentality lately myself. Seems to me that people tend to get bored or complacent with relationships after a while. If a person is interested in someone else, let them be. by giving them an ultimatum of either them or me ends up making them resent you or you get a slap in the face when they choose them over you. Most people aren't wired this way, but it does eliminate "caging" someone or yourself even. Allow her to be her and explain to her that at the same time you are going to do you. Down side to this will be that when she realizes that you have no problem getting with another girl, she will get jealous and then not want to have anything to do with you. I speak from experience.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

This! As I was leaving the gym last night I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past few years. I should have gone to the gym back during the times I suffered through my depression.

Something else to consider. Let her have her fun while you have yours. I've been considering open relationship type mentality lately myself. Seems to me that people tend to get bored or complacent with relationships after a while. If a person is interested in someone else, let them be. by giving them an ultimatum of either them or me ends up making them resent you or you get a slap in the face when they choose them over you. Most people aren't wired this way, but it does eliminate "caging" someone or yourself even. Allow her to be her and explain to her that at the same time you are going to do you. Down side to this will be that when she realizes that you have no problem getting with another girl, she will get jealous and then not want to have anything to do with you. I speak from experience.

I wouldn't do an open relationship... just not my thing, I don't really see the point in it haha
the girl I was with last night, neither of us are in a relationship, and both of us do our own thing but every now and then we get together and just chill - it's like an "open relationship" i guess without the title?

[CTinline-six]

I love this community. Who would've thought that the thread I've been giving advice in would be the one I turn to in order to seek advice. You guys/girls are great.

[________]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Yup, more texts. I'm not sure why you would keep taunting someone if you don't have feelings for them anymore.

She has feelings for you... she's "confused"...

Like the BPD in my story earlier in the thread. Perhaps she'll find herself, perhaps not. You won't help her find herself.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I love this community. Who would've thought that the thread I've been giving advice in would be the one I turn to in order to seek advice. You guys/girls are great.

That's how life works man. It's funny how a person can be on top one day and in the dumps the next. What's valuable, just as you've said, is to have a support group or people to talk to about it. This place is priceless.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

This! As I was leaving the gym last night I was thinking about how much my life has changed in the past few years. I should have gone to the gym back during the times I suffered through my depression.

Something else to consider. Let her have her fun while you have yours. I've been considering open relationship type mentality lately myself. Seems to me that people tend to get bored or complacent with relationships after a while. If a person is interested in someone else, let them be. by giving them an ultimatum of either them or me ends up making them resent you or you get a slap in the face when they choose them over you. Most people aren't wired this way, but it does eliminate "caging" someone or yourself even. Allow her to be her and explain to her that at the same time you are going to do you. Down side to this will be that when she realizes that you have no problem getting with another girl, she will get jealous and then not want to have anything to do with you. I speak from experience.

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

I wouldn't do an open relationship... just not my thing, I don't really see the point in it haha
the girl I was with last night, neither of us are in a relationship, and both of us do our own thing but every now and then we get together and just chill - it's like an "open relationship" i guess without the title?

Open relationships really aren't my thing, and I don't even really believe that is the reason. It's possible I'm the most naive person on the planet, but I truly believe she does have feelings, but the mental issues are what is getting in the way, not wanting other men. Not that it's any different of a reason or an excuse to hold on. I guess everything is a learning experience. The way things were going (even up until yesterday morning) is why this caught me by surprise.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

I wouldn't do an open relationship... just not my thing, I don't really see the point in it haha
the girl I was with last night, neither of us are in a relationship, and both of us do our own thing but every now and then we get together and just chill - it's like an "open relationship" i guess without the title?

Understandable. Like I said, not everyone is wired this way. We as humans are peculiar creatures. I see men and women that both say they want relationships, then cheat or do whatever that gives the misconception that they really don't need to be in a relationship at all. After the relationship is over because they have forsaken whatever rule of the relationship, they stay depressed until they can start the cycle all over again.

The key here is to understand yourself first, then understand people in general. Know what you want, then try to understand what other people want and let them have it, even if it isn't you or is you or is only you sometimes. Learn to work around other peoples needs and wants versus projecting your wants/needs on them.