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      09-20-2018, 12:57 PM   #573
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Originally Posted by Germanauto View Post
One of my best friends hit #30 this past weekend. His strategy? Just chat to girls in real life about anything. His favorite spot are coffee shops where he will study or do some personal work then strike up conversation. He will date girls for several weeks then dip when he gets bored.

He hasn't done Tinder or any apps in over 3 years.
I see your signature says you are from the NW and the Midwest. Wondering which of those locations your friend is from? I can see his technique being a goldmine in the midwest and failing miserably in the NW. Around here (Seattle) people are generally the most unfriendly and closed off of anywhere I have lived or visited. No one will look you in the eye. Any coffee shop you enter is a sea of people with headphones on, watching their electronic devices, shutting out the whole world. People legitimately give you the look of death if you even talk to them and say "hello." I grew up in Seattle and never knew any different. It wasnt until I started traveling extensively for work that I realized something was off. I still remember this chick striking up a conversation with me while in the TSA line at the airport. She was very friendly and pretty and my immediate gut reaction was to think "F*uck off, why are you talking to me? I'm in a hurry, no one likes the security line, I'm irritated, and you're chatting me up about nothing?" She said she was headed home to Chicago. I retold the story to a friend who grew up in the Chicago area and that's when he enlightened me that Seattle is pretty much F'd." I never knew!

So anyway, curious if your buddy who cleans up with the women in coffee shops by just chatting and being real is from Chicago or the NW.
This is so true. I once had a really pretty blonde and real cool coworker who moved to the DC area from rural Ohio. She was friendly as can be, but was astounded at how closed off people are in this area (just like Seattle i guess), especially while "in their zone". She would try to strike up conversations in the metro and random other places only for people to be suspect of the entire conversation to begin with. For those who did speak to her, most of the conversations obviously weren't genuine, scratched the surface, and were filled with rhetorical questions. Kinda different than the midwest attitude. I really found it amazing that a pretty cute blonde didn't get the reception she I guess was used to back home. It's a cold world out there sometimes.
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      09-20-2018, 02:27 PM   #574
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Originally Posted by catcher22 View Post
This is so true. I once had a really pretty blonde and real cool coworker who moved to the DC area from rural Ohio. She was friendly as can be, but was astounded at how closed off people are in this area (just like Seattle i guess), especially while "in their zone". She would try to strike up conversations in the metro and random other places only for people to be suspect of the entire conversation to begin with. For those who did speak to her, most of the conversations obviously weren't genuine, scratched the surface, and were filled with rhetorical questions. Kinda different than the midwest attitude. I really found it amazing that a pretty cute blonde didn't get the reception she I guess was used to back home. It's a cold world out there sometimes.
I call bs. "Really pretty blonde" she knows all she has to do is walk outside & men will talk to her.
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      09-20-2018, 02:37 PM   #575
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people getting bored in their marriages just shows me they are not happy with themselves and need attention to be happy.

There are things we can do to keep things LESS boring and fresher but absolutely no way can you be with someone 10, 15, 20, 40 years and not lose that spark like you are first dating. it's absolutely impossible. Get a hobby, enjoy your family, be happy with what you have.

I don't get it, what did you expect??
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      09-20-2018, 02:40 PM   #576
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
people getting bored in their marriages just shows me they are not happy with themselves and need attention to be happy.

There are things we can do to keep things LESS boring and fresher but absolutely no way can you be with someone 10, 15, 20, 40 years and not lose that spark like you are first dating. it's absolutely impossible. Get a hobby, enjoy your family, be happy with what you have.

I don't get it, what did you expect??
Good post, but you can keep a well lit spark if both parties work at it & want it.
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      09-20-2018, 02:49 PM   #577
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Good post, but you can keep a well lit spark if both parties work at it & want it.
I touched on that, a spark well lit yes, but not THE spark that got it rolling. It's impossible, we are people, we get used to things and you get a reality check with financial pressures and children that you don't have when young and dating.
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      09-20-2018, 02:50 PM   #578
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
people getting bored in their marriages just shows me they are not happy with themselves and need attention to be happy.

There are things we can do to keep things LESS boring and fresher but absolutely no way can you be with someone 10, 15, 20, 40 years and not lose that spark like you are first dating. it's absolutely impossible. Get a hobby, enjoy your family, be happy with what you have.

I don't get it, what did you expect??
Good post, but you can keep a well lit spark if both parties work at it & want it.
Not in the same way as first dates though.
I guess his point was for people that are looking for the "thrill".
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      09-20-2018, 02:57 PM   #579
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A lot of the thrill is in the chase and the "oh wow she likes me" ... that's never gonna happen again, ever, 'cos you've got them.
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      09-20-2018, 06:22 PM   #580
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
people getting bored in their marriages just shows me they are not happy with themselves and need attention to be happy.

There are things we can do to keep things LESS boring and fresher but absolutely no way can you be with someone 10, 15, 20, 40 years and not lose that spark like you are first dating. it's absolutely impossible. Get a hobby, enjoy your family, be happy with what you have.

I don't get it, what did you expect??
Solid advice.

I get bored after a couple dates, which I suppose is natural for my age. But life is not all fun and games and that includes dating.
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      09-20-2018, 06:24 PM   #581
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Ah, yeah, that makes sense! BC is a world apart from Seattle, despite the close proximity.
Yeah I've never seen two cities so closeby having such different vibes and personalities.

Don't get me wrong the Seattle area is objectively a great place to live, especially if you are in the IT field. But something about B.C. just makes me feel amazing as soon as I cross that border.
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      09-20-2018, 10:52 PM   #582
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A lot of the thrill is in the chase and the "oh wow she likes me" ... that's never gonna happen again, ever, 'cos you've got them.
good to see im not alone with this
at times it makes me feel like shit when i realize this but it really gets boring once I know I "got" them
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      09-21-2018, 12:13 AM   #583
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Y’all must just be meeting boring ass women. Getting bored after years is normal. Getting bored after a couple dates means you probably just aren’t a good match.
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      09-21-2018, 01:31 AM   #584
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Y’all must just be meeting boring ass women. Getting bored after years is normal. Getting bored after a couple dates means you probably just aren’t a good match.
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      09-21-2018, 06:27 AM   #585
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This is so true. I once had a really pretty blonde and real cool coworker who moved to the DC area from rural Ohio. She was friendly as can be, but was astounded at how closed off people are in this area (just like Seattle i guess), especially while "in their zone". She would try to strike up conversations in the metro and random other places only for people to be suspect of the entire conversation to begin with. For those who did speak to her, most of the conversations obviously weren't genuine, scratched the surface, and were filled with rhetorical questions. Kinda different than the midwest attitude. I really found it amazing that a pretty cute blonde didn't get the reception she I guess was used to back home. It's a cold world out there sometimes.
I call bs. "Really pretty blonde" she knows all she has to do is walk outside & men will talk to her.
That's the point lol, it didn't really work (at least to her expectations I guess).

Isn't there an 11 year old thread somewhere else you should go and bring back? Stop trolling me and e90 man.
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      09-21-2018, 06:28 AM   #586
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That's the point lol, it didn't really work (at least to her expectations I guess).

Isn't there an 11 year old thread somewhere else you should go and bring back? Stop trolling e90 man.
A) I didn't bring the thread back. B) Truth hurts.
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      09-21-2018, 06:29 AM   #587
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Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
good to see im not alone with this
at times it makes me feel like shit when i realize this but it really gets boring once I know I "got" them
Then you pick the wrong ones.

I don't know how old you are, but at my age, I am tired of the chase. I don't jump through hoops.
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      09-21-2018, 06:30 AM   #588
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Not in the same way as first dates though.
I guess his point was for people that are looking for the "thrill".
Right, but it evolves as the relationship grows. Much better than a first date inf actuation.
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      09-21-2018, 07:50 AM   #589
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Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
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Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
good to see im not alone with this
at times it makes me feel like shit when i realize this but it really gets boring once I know I "got" them
Then you pick the wrong ones.

I don't know how old you are, but at my age, I am tired of the chase. I don't jump through hoops.
This.

I'd say they are just meeting the wrong people if they are getting bored. If you are bored with the person after a few dates you truly aren't attracted to them.

I came home yesterday after work to a surprise nerf gun war. We constantly prank each other.

You want someone who keeps life interesting.
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      09-21-2018, 08:17 AM   #590
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Not in the same way as first dates though.
I guess his point was for people that are looking for the "thrill".
Right, but it evolves as the relationship grows. Much better than a first date inf actuation.
Better is relative...
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      09-21-2018, 08:22 AM   #591
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Better is relative...
You're bringing the room down, man!
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      09-21-2018, 08:26 AM   #592
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Better is relative...
You're bringing the room down, man!
Lol just saying they're different kinds of "good".
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      09-21-2018, 08:31 AM   #593
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Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
This.

I'd say they are just meeting the wrong people if they are getting bored. If you are bored with the person after a few dates you truly aren't attracted to them.

I came home yesterday after work to a surprise nerf gun war. We constantly prank each other.

You want someone who keeps life interesting.
This is where it's at. I do miss having a fun relationship. I suppose there are trade-offs. I traded fun and intelligent conversation for safe....and now somewhat regretting it. Have I mentioned how great the sex is?
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      09-21-2018, 08:48 AM   #594
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This is where it's at. I do miss having a fun relationship. I suppose there are trade-offs. I traded fun and intelligent conversation for safe....and now somewhat regretting it. Have I mentioned how great the sex is?
What are you doing to make it fun? Because let's say you want a relationship where there are some pranks / jokes (like nerf gun war - which, I thought doesn't happen except on TV, but maybe Josh is the exception)...if you initiate (and not just once, but again and again), it seems to me that it might rub off on her no?

Such that she wants to get you back and then plans something for you. Human nature and all.

I guess what I'm saying is make sure you are doing (repeatedly) what you would like to receive back. It isn't a guarantee that it will happen, but I do think it increases the likelihood of it happening - whatever it is.
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