BMW 1-Series Forum (F20) 135i - 1Addicts.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board > Dating - Good/Bad Experiences
Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      02-18-2022, 09:37 AM   #12541
chinniciF32
Noob
chinniciF32's Avatar
United_States
70
Rep
255
Posts

Drives: f32 n55
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Stamford, CT

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Honestly you're not wrong, I'm not sure about the interested/not part. I didn't ask more than once (obviously know better than that), and for what its worth she ended up replying later on too. She either is genuinely a horrible texter or her MO is "ehhh whatever sure why not". Either way, not feeling it 100%. I understand not wanting to text someone 24/7 (neither do I) but this is just terrible communication lol

Not a fan of the double guessing though. Feeling like there's some games being played that I'm not looking forward to be a part of.

Expiration date is long with Pickles absolutely, and I don't think I'm rushing into anything. I won't contest you on the "your mojo isnt flowing right", though.
Going off how you hit it off and finished off at the party i would say she is definitely "interested" but how much she is interested is always the difficult question, you followed up fine in my opinion not too soon not too late (gotta strike while the iron is still hot). My date took over 5hours to reply from when I asked her out yesterday (which is really slow for her).

Tbh I never bought the horrible texting thing especially with millennials because lets face it for the most part we are looking at our phone at least close to 60% of the day checking emails, texts, playing games, reading articles, etc. I can understand an hour or 2 but thats it as far as response time.

The games suck for sure, its always annoying when in the beginning there are no games and a lot of transparency and then later on the games begin...
__________________
FBO, MHD Stage 2+ E20, Xhp Stage 3
Appreciate 1
      02-18-2022, 10:10 AM   #12542
JP10
Major
JP10's Avatar
United_States
2473
Rep
1,144
Posts

Drives: M3
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: SC

iTrader: (0)

I categorize texts as non-urgent. While it seems like everyone here is expecting an immediate response. Hell my wife texts me at the beginning of the work day, may be 8-10hrs before I hit her back. Calls - urgent. Text - to me means I can respond whenever I can. Why don't you guys stop thinking about it and trying so hard and just go with the flow. If it happens great, if not then whatever. Goodluck brohombres
Appreciate 2
      02-18-2022, 11:01 AM   #12543
Turkish Pickle
Banned
United_States
3084
Rep
381
Posts

Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie
Appreciate 0
      02-18-2022, 02:28 PM   #12544
chinniciF32
Noob
chinniciF32's Avatar
United_States
70
Rep
255
Posts

Drives: f32 n55
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Stamford, CT

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie
Saturday nights date at 7pm wasn't really a solid yes for me either "saturday night sounds fun! Kinda want to see how im feeling if thats ok? i've got a weekend of three baby first bday parties *insert 3x upside smiley face emojis*" (she was sick and tested for corona with a negative result) then she asked me where is the restaurant and what salsa spot and responded with an "ok " after I told her.

So I went ahead and setup a plan B for 8pm with a 23yo model/banker just incase (boring to talk to and says she just likes to "chill" and "hangout" on the weekends without elaborating).

Then im supposed to drive down to Long Island to see my ex (gf not wife) either later Saturday night or Sunday morning for a "talk" and possible toxic sex .
__________________
FBO, MHD Stage 2+ E20, Xhp Stage 3
Appreciate 0
      02-18-2022, 02:41 PM   #12545
Chihuahua
Brigadier General
Chihuahua's Avatar
4136
Rep
3,223
Posts

Drives: E30 329iS, E65 Alpina B7
Join Date: May 2012
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinniciF32 View Post
Saturday nights date at 7pm wasn't really a solid yes for me either "saturday night sounds fun! Kinda want to see how im feeling if thats ok? i've got a weekend of three baby first bday parties *insert 3x upside smiley face emojis*" (she was sick and tested for corona with a negative result) then she asked me where is the restaurant and what salsa spot and responded with an "ok " after I told her.

So I went ahead and setup a plan B for 8pm with a 23yo model/banker just incase (boring to talk to and says she just likes to "chill" and "hangout" on the weekends without elaborating).

Then im supposed to drive down to Long Island to see my ex (gf not wife) either later Saturday night or Sunday morning for a "talk" and possible toxic sex .
That's definitely not an approach I would take, but you do you. I once read something on this thread that has stuck with me, and that is "if you chase two rabbits at the same time you'll catch neither". It's VERY sound advice if you're looking for a solid, mature relationship with someone. If you're just looking to spread the seed, carry on.
Appreciate 1
      02-18-2022, 03:23 PM   #12546
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7572
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinniciF32 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie
Saturday nights date at 7pm wasn't really a solid yes for me either "saturday night sounds fun! Kinda want to see how im feeling if thats ok? i've got a weekend of three baby first bday parties *insert 3x upside smiley face emojis*" (she was sick and tested for corona with a negative result) then she asked me where is the restaurant and what salsa spot and responded with an "ok " after I told her.

So I went ahead and setup a plan B for 8pm with a 23yo model/banker just incase (boring to talk to and says she just likes to "chill" and "hangout" on the weekends without elaborating).

Then im supposed to drive down to Long Island to see my ex (gf not wife) either later Saturday night or Sunday morning for a "talk" and possible toxic sex .
Gettin some
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
      02-18-2022, 03:24 PM   #12547
ryan stewart
Major
2200
Rep
1,330
Posts

Drives: 2008 328it
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

Sounds like he is just trying to not spend Sat alone. Friday is not fair for "Ill see how I feel" for Saturday, Id say its a no or at least Id treat it as a no. Id go solid plan with the plan B and just tell the first chick, "Hey since its touch and go lets do a rain check until we can actually plan something."

Ill throw the kitchen sink but Im not really willing to sit around twiddling my thumbs.

I would say avoid the ex though, they are an ex for a reason and keeping them around is always an obstacle to moving on. Even if it just means you can count on getting your dick sucked, it makes you lazy.
Appreciate 2
      02-18-2022, 03:44 PM   #12548
chinniciF32
Noob
chinniciF32's Avatar
United_States
70
Rep
255
Posts

Drives: f32 n55
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Stamford, CT

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chihuahua View Post
That's definitely not an approach I would take, but you do you. I once read something on this thread that has stuck with me, and that is "if you chase two rabbits at the same time you'll catch neither". It's VERY sound advice if you're looking for a solid, mature relationship with someone. If you're just looking to spread the seed, carry on.
Agreed, the only "rabbit" I actually want for a relationship is option A, option B is more so because im bored I guess and I suppose a saturday with a pretty lady would help keep my mojo intact (as pathetic as that sounds)

Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
Gettin some
yes lol

Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan stewart View Post
Sounds like he is just trying to not spend Sat alone. Friday is not fair for "Ill see how I feel" for Saturday, Id say its a no or at least Id treat it as a no. Id go solid plan with the plan B and just tell the first chick, "Hey since its touch and go lets do a rain check until we can actually plan something."

Ill throw the kitchen sink but Im not really willing to sit around twiddling my thumbs.

I would say avoid the ex though, they are an ex for a reason and keeping them around is always an obstacle to moving on. Even if it just means you can count on getting your dick sucked, it makes you lazy.
Honestly yea i'd rather not be alone if the first date cant make it. Last night (Thursday) she texted me about the "i'll have to see", we've been texting today so I guess we'll see tomorrow morning. I think I may leave the first girl open until she cancels and if she doesnt ill just cancel on the second chick or idk I also like your suggestion "Hey since its touch and go.....".

Yea I should avoid the ex but she drunk dialed me last saturday night and apologized for breaking up with me (broke up with me late january) and we've been talking all week and she wants to try again and I said we can "talk" but no promises and she agreed, if she starts taking her clothes during the "talk" I suppose it wouldnt be the end of the world
__________________
FBO, MHD Stage 2+ E20, Xhp Stage 3
Appreciate 0
      02-18-2022, 04:05 PM   #12549
Alfisti
Brigadier General
6576
Rep
3,046
Posts

Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada

iTrader: (0)

Cracks me up seeing these young uns trying to avoid spending a weekend night alone, i'd bite your arm off for some alone time.
Appreciate 3
upstatedoc7572.00
vreihen1615640.00
      02-18-2022, 04:47 PM   #12550
Turkish Pickle
Banned
United_States
3084
Rep
381
Posts

Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
I told my friends I'm going on a date just so I can stay at home alone and not be bothered lol

My plan A is brunch with this girl, and plan B is eggs at home
Appreciate 0
      02-18-2022, 05:57 PM   #12551
Chihuahua
Brigadier General
Chihuahua's Avatar
4136
Rep
3,223
Posts

Drives: E30 329iS, E65 Alpina B7
Join Date: May 2012
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinniciF32 View Post
Agreed, the only "rabbit" I actually want for a relationship is option A, option B is more so because im bored I guess and I suppose a saturday with a pretty lady would help keep my mojo intact (as pathetic as that sounds)
Mojo comes from you being the best version of you possible, owning it, and presenting it. It doesn't come from another person.
Appreciate 2
      02-19-2022, 11:06 AM   #12552
chinniciF32
Noob
chinniciF32's Avatar
United_States
70
Rep
255
Posts

Drives: f32 n55
Join Date: Feb 2020
Location: Stamford, CT

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
Cracks me up seeing these young uns trying to avoid spending a weekend night alone, i'd bite your arm off for some alone time.
I was the same way when I was married, alone time was a breathe of fresh air especially during the shut down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
I told my friends I'm going on a date just so I can stay at home alone and not be bothered lol

My plan A is brunch with this girl, and plan B is eggs at home
Plan A postponed but she is a good sport I don't sense any white lies with the sick thing been texting all day, Plan B: I might bail cause too tired and don't feel like spending money on someone boring regardless of how good she looks. Might do the stay home thing as well
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chihuahua View Post
Mojo comes from you being the best version of you possible, owning it, and presenting it. It doesn't come from another person.
Absolutely but it does put a little lead in the pencil for me (then again I'm shallow)
__________________
FBO, MHD Stage 2+ E20, Xhp Stage 3
Appreciate 0
      02-19-2022, 05:28 PM   #12553
Chihuahua
Brigadier General
Chihuahua's Avatar
4136
Rep
3,223
Posts

Drives: E30 329iS, E65 Alpina B7
Join Date: May 2012
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinniciF32 View Post
Absolutely but it does put a little lead in the pencil for me
Sure, that I can appreciate. Once your confidence gets going it's a MAJOR attractant, and success with a lady can certainly provide a confidence boost.
Appreciate 1
      02-19-2022, 09:42 PM   #12554
Ryry1996
New Member
United_States
2
Rep
12
Posts

Drives: BMW m6 2015
Join Date: Feb 2022
Location: New York

iTrader: (0)

Yea yea
Appreciate 0
      02-19-2022, 09:55 PM   #12555
Alfisti
Brigadier General
6576
Rep
3,046
Posts

Drives: 2008 Saab 9-3 Combi
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Toronto, Canada

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by chinniciF32 View Post
I was the same way when I was married, alone time was a breathe of fresh air especially during the shut down.
It's suffocating. Kids have been home school for 2 years, i've not got any real mates here, missing my business trips where i'd just order a pork chop and a beer and watch rugby in my hotel room after work was done.
Appreciate 1
      02-20-2022, 11:32 AM   #12556
Chihuahua
Brigadier General
Chihuahua's Avatar
4136
Rep
3,223
Posts

Drives: E30 329iS, E65 Alpina B7
Join Date: May 2012
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ryry1996 View Post
Yea yea
And the pain is thunder!
Appreciate 0
      02-20-2022, 04:02 PM   #12557
Turkish Pickle
Banned
United_States
3084
Rep
381
Posts

Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie
I did not get ditched. She texted me 10.29am (I was around the corner since I told her I'd pick her up 10.30) if we were still on.

Date went very well but ended horribly. Honestly don't think I'm going to see her again :/
Appreciate 0
      02-20-2022, 04:06 PM   #12558
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7572
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

wait, did you say you were married somewhere in this mish-mash?
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
      02-20-2022, 04:19 PM   #12559
shoei
Banned
7779
Rep
2,602
Posts

Drives: MW Vespa w/pink racing stripes
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Peeing in your garden

iTrader: (3)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
I'll update on Sunday; work is too slow today and tomorrow I'm going to drive around aimlessly to clear my mind. I ended up texting a friend to be on stand-by for Sunday in case I get ditched lol, worst case I end up getting brunch with a homie
I did not get ditched. She texted me 10.29am (I was around the corner since I told her I'd pick her up 10.30) if we were still on.

Date went very well but ended horribly. Honestly don't think I'm going to see her again :/
Let me try a different approach. Let's use cars for example, considering we're on a BMW forum.

You're a used vehicle. Decent miles, but you've got some issues. Minor but not taken care of, the leak for example could cause more problems down the road. Your software needs to be updated and there's definitely a recall or two. But you're sitting on the used car lot, all waxed up and shiny trying to command top dollar but you aren't even CPO.

Go get your shit fixed, get CPO'ed, then go back out onto the used car lot. Cuz right now? You're just trying to scam a potential prospect wanting them to get involved with you and then fix all your shit. It's not their responsibility and it's not their job to make your life better.

My two cents.
Appreciate 1
      02-20-2022, 04:29 PM   #12560
Turkish Pickle
Banned
United_States
3084
Rep
381
Posts

Drives: '21 330i xDrive
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Chicago, IL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
wait, did you say you were married somewhere in this mish-mash?
me? i havent married anyone so far

Quote:
Originally Posted by shoei View Post
Let me try a different approach. Let's use cars for example, considering we're on a BMW forum.

You're a used vehicle. Decent miles, but you've got some issues. Minor but not taken care of, the leak for example could cause more problems down the road. Your software needs to be updated and there's definitely a recall or two. But you're sitting on the used car lot, all waxed up and shiny trying to command top dollar but you aren't even CPO.

Go get your shit fixed, get CPO'ed, then go back out onto the used car lot. Cuz right now? You're just trying to scam a potential prospect wanting them to get involved with you and then fix all your shit. It's not their responsibility and it's not their job to make your life better.

My two cents.
I understand your point, I really do - what is giving that away?

And, how does one tackle that?
Appreciate 0
      02-20-2022, 05:02 PM   #12561
aliiin
I use my turn signal
aliiin's Avatar
United_States
707
Rep
278
Posts

Drives: Toyota Tercel
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: DFW

iTrader: (0)

So, started chatting with someone for ~2 days. Conversation flowed really well and IMO it was going really well. She gave me a disclaimer that tends to be a dealbreaker for most people - she splits time between DC and DFW because of work. I'm totally cool about that and am all about transparency. Asked her to meet up and she said she would love to, but it was horrible timing because she's been in DFW for a month, and has to go to DC for next 5 weeks (maybe longer). I told her it's all good, no worries and to let me know when she's back in town.

She checks off a lot of things off my "ideal woman" list. So, should I periodically text her throughout the 5 weeks time? Wait it out and in 5 weeks text her if she doesn't text me? I understand 5 weeks is such a long time in the dating world and a lot can change in that time. What to do?
Appreciate 0
      02-20-2022, 05:15 PM   #12562
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7572
Rep
2,132
Posts

Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Have you planted one on her yet?
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:33 PM.




1addicts
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST