[Rmtt]

You will know when it comes along. Anyone I have ever seen for an extended period of time always had some type of idiosncrasy that I just couldn't get past no matter how small it may have been.

And I'm sure they felt the same about me.

There would always be something that could get on my nerves even if not apparent at first.

But when you meet the right one......it's kind of like they can do no wrong. This is the icing on the cake. Stuff that you found the least little bit irritating with others don't bother you....in fact you may even find it all "cute". Even the "shallow" stuff as how they look when they first wake up....etc.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that all that superficial stuff no longer matters....you don't even think about it. And you "click" in pretty much every other aspect of the relationship.

Now no one is perfect, but if you get what I described above pretty much nailed down, and the relationship seems way to easy.....it's a good sign.

Not saying there won't be trying times, but when they come along and you could just as easily walk away.....then you no that's not the one. When you have someone you're committed to making it work with.....and realize that it's not always the other person's faults or hang-ups....that it could actually be you that needs the extra work.....I think it's safe to say you have found a good one.

Granted I say this only once you are content and happy with yourself. If you aren't at that point, you may find yourself looking to others to fill that void and that isn't a place you want to be!

[Turkish Pickle]

Thanks guys, i see your point(s). Honestly reflecting back it's me mismanaging the interaction and being impulsive while reaching conclusions that aren't even there - i'm not blaming myself fully for how it unfolded but i definitely could've done better.

All we can do now is move forward, no?

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by Rmtt

Granted I say this only once you are content and happy with yourself. If you aren't at that point, you may find yourself looking to others to fill that void and that isn't a place you want to be!

I think this is the smartest thing I've ever read on the internet. So true.

[Kelse92]

Just now exploring other parts of the forums and finding this thread. I'll post my own experiences at some point, but if anyone ever wants some female perspective in this thread I can at least attempt to answer lol

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Kelse92

Just now exploring other parts of the forums and finding this thread. I'll post my own experiences at some point, but if anyone ever wants some female perspective in this thread I can at least attempt to answer lol

i'll bite

whats your "he can be all this but if he does this it won't work out whatsoever" thing?

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

whats your "he can be all this but if he does this it won't work out whatsoever" thing?

Sub'd

[FuzzyPeaches]

Well....It looks like things between me and the widow have come to an impasse. She has always stated that she didn't want a boyfriend right now, but actions have seemed to indicate we were moving closer to that.

Then, late last week, she came over and we had a long conversation about it over dinner where she said that I was getting too serious and pushy and that she still wasn't ready for a boyfriend. The conversation ended and we continued with our date and had a great time.

Since then, its been almost radio silence. If I don't reach out, we don't talk. This is the first time in 4-5 months that we've gone more than 24 hours without conversation. I don't know if this is the beginning of the end or what.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by FuzzyPeaches

Well....It looks like things between me and the widow have come to an impasse. She has always stated that she didn't want a boyfriend right now, but actions have seemed to indicate we were moving closer to that.

Then, late last week, she came over and we had a long conversation about it over dinner where she said that I was getting too serious and pushy and that she still wasn't ready for a boyfriend. The conversation ended and we continued with our date and had a great time.

Since then, its been almost radio silence. If I don't reach out, we don't talk. This is the first time in 4-5 months that we've gone more than 24 hours without conversation. I don't know if this is the beginning of the end or what.

she is pushing away, give her the space and see what she does. If you dont hear from her, let her go.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

i'll bite

whats your "he can be all this but if he does this it won't work out whatsoever" thing?

simply walk away and never look back. If she cant express herself correctly you will never know anything, this becomes a HEADACHE!!!!

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

she is pushing away, give her the space and see what she does. If you dont hear from her, let her go.

I'll agree with this. Women are like cats, they'll let you know if they want something of you. The more you try to project yourself on them, the more they tend to walk away.

Give her some space. You already know that she cares about you. Let her sort things out in her mind.

[FuzzyPeaches]

Yeah. I've already backed off. We both have busy weeks, so I'm not about to try and add to either of our stress levels.

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

she is pushing away, give her the space and see what she does. If you dont hear from her, let her go.

I agree. Let her miss you and wonder where you are. Give her space. Ball is in her court.

I know it sucks but, maybe she's just scared because of how well things were going and the reality of the relationship.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by FuzzyPeaches

Yeah. I've already backed off. We both have busy weeks, so I'm not about to try and add to either of our stress levels.

Good man and smart move here. I have a feeling she will come around. This will also demonstrate to her your ability to be flexible around her needs.

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

I agree. Let her miss you and wonder where you are. Give her space. Ball is in her court.

I know it sucks but, maybe she's just scared because of how well things were going and the reality of the relationship.

This. I know that anytime that things are going well for me, it scares the hell out of me and I tend to push back.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

This. I know that anytime that things are going well for me, it scares the hell out of me and I tend to push back.

Or you can use BP OT and Politics as the antidote in those times...just jump back on here with a controversial post and you can go off licking your wounds and it'll balance your life out nicely.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Or you can use BP OT and Politics as the antidote in those times...just jump back on here with a controversial post and you can go off licking your wounds and it'll balance your life out nicely.

This is actually very accurate. I'll be honest, there have been several times that I have posted on here, only to have my thoughts and opinion thrown back in my face....with force. This place can be the f'n thunderdome for sure.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

This is actually very accurate. I'll be honest, there have been several times that I have posted on here, only to have my thoughts and opinion thrown back in my face....with force. This place can be the f'n thunderdome for sure.

Yeah, I've definitely felt like the fish in the proverbial barrel on here more than once. But it's good, keeps me humble, and I learn new things.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Yeah, I've definitely felt like the fish in the proverbial barrel on here more than once. But it's good, keeps me humble, and I learn new things.

Exactly!

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Yeah, I've definitely felt like the fish in the proverbial barrel on here more than once. But it's good, keeps me humble, and I learn new things.

Coconuts FTMFW!!!

[Kelse92]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

i'll bite

whats your "he can be all this but if he does this it won't work out whatsoever" thing?

I think everybody has their “dealbreaker thing”
For me I’m extremely independent. I grew up on a farm doing work outside with horses, to a certain extent I will do my own work on my car, and am an entrepreneur in business etc. The second that’s challenged or I get a condescending remark about it in a relationship, I don’t care how perfect the guy is, I’m out. I put up with a person who was like that for over a year and it was toxic. I don’t want to go down that road again.

For everybody it’s different though, there are some women want the guy to dote to them and do everything for them. So ultimately it just boils down to being around someone that understands and complements you.

[Kelse92]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

I'll agree with this. Women are like cats, they'll let you know if they want something of you. The more you try to project yourself on them, the more they tend to walk away.

Give her some space. You already know that she cares about you. Let her sort things out in her mind.

Accurate statement. It might hurt for a bit, but I bet with a little time she’ll reach back out, cause it’s not that she’s not thinking about you, she just needs to do it on her own terms.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Yeah, I've definitely felt like the fish in the proverbial barrel on here more than once. But it's good, keeps me humble, and I learn new things.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Coconuts FTMFW!!!

Ahh, screw off serf!

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Good man and smart move here. I have a feeling she will come around. This will also demonstrate to her your ability to be flexible around her needs.



This. I know that anytime that things are going well for me, it scares the hell out of me and I tend to push back.

This right here. My wife has always accused me in the past of always holding back just a little. But when you have gone through what I have in the past...I can't help it.

I mentioned it before...I learned a long time ago I could be perfectly content being by myself. I could pick up "company" for a night or two pretty much whenever I wanted it...so I didn't have that aspect to be needy about.

It's selfish to admit, but I don't ever see my self being able to go "all in" again. Once was enough and I go burned for something she even admitted was her mistake. She was ready to get back together within 2 weeks of me leaving telling me she screwed up.

I told her that it wasn't happening. I could forgive but not forget. We are friends now and she has kids, but will still say that she made the ultimate mistake and realizes it.

Now granted I did pretty good for myself after it was just me and my daughter..so the materialistic side of it could be some of the reasons why she still insists that.

I have a good wife now. She is totally committed. But I told her that just because of the way I am because of my past..it doesn't change how I feel about her. She knows my character and that I would never intentionally hurt her. But she also knows that I'm not one for playing games either.