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      12-20-2021, 11:23 PM   #12651
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Originally Posted by ///d View Post
To each their own, but to me age is just a number after a certain point. My folks are 10 years apart, my gf is 4 years younger than I. I think sometimes it can make a difference, like if someone hasn't quite grown out of the party stages of their 20s, but IMO by your 30s a few years isn't a deal breaker.

Emotional and financial issues can be difficult to take on. I've been there on both sides of that fence. I'm honestly on that fence right now because my gf can't seem to figure her finances out. It's not enough for me to get out (yet), but it's enough that I'm not making any future financial plans with her as a contributor.
That's a fair point but at nearly 34 yrs old, there's a lot of pressure on her to have kids. I'm barely 29 and don't see myself at that stage of life so soon. And yeah if somebody is bad with money [even if they have a decent job] it's a red flag. Their money problems become your money problems. I already have six-figure grad school debt as it is.
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      12-21-2021, 12:01 AM   #12652
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"No he fucking won't! Clear up your own mess!"
Yeah those would be my words for sure

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Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
holy shit that's genuinely toxic

if my wife/gf is going to flirt with another man she's done. that's genuinely disrespectful, and on top of that you put your man in a position where he can be seriously hurt (who tf knows what a drunk guy is going to do/what he's packing)?

fuck that noise, i hope your friend can find someone stable to build his life with.
Yeah I would have never put up with it myself, but he is pretty level headed and luckily he was always able to smooth it out. They are older now with kids and don't go out much anymore. She is a very forward, loud, and feisty Hispanic gal and she loved her drama when they were younger. Honestly she probably could have take care of anyone herself.
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      12-27-2021, 09:39 PM   #12653
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      12-27-2021, 10:07 PM   #12654
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That's a fair point but at nearly 34 yrs old, there's a lot of pressure on her to have kids. I'm barely 29 and don't see myself at that stage of life so soon. .
Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.
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      12-28-2021, 12:51 AM   #12655
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.
Yeah, I agree. They'll take the wind out of you. Have 'em while you're young. Had my first child at 27, second at 32. You got to be able to keep up with them. I enjoyed the hell out of it. Would've been a struggle if I was older.
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      12-28-2021, 12:09 PM   #12656
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.
Seconded. I'm 40, chasing a 4 year old. Plus a 7 year old. Am exhausted on the daily.
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      12-28-2021, 01:14 PM   #12657
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I am 45 with a 10 and 6 year old, I would say I am a solid 7 to 10 years older than i should be. Now I did not waste those years but still, i simply don't have the patience or energy for them that I should.
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      12-28-2021, 01:41 PM   #12658
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There's no way I'd have been able to do this a few years ago. Barely fit to be a parent now. 34, with 4 and 1.
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      12-28-2021, 08:09 PM   #12659
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
Got news for you chief, you're already late. First kid by 30, latest, or it's a struggle. Older you get, the harder it is. Say you have your second at 35, at 40 you're chasing a 5 year old, good luck with that.

Get busy.
Maybe being an Alfisti will help?
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      12-29-2021, 08:11 AM   #12660
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Im needing to find out how serious this girl is about never having kids. Im 40 and dodged that shit my whole life, Im not about to fuck that up now. I like my money, I like my hobbies, I like my travel.

She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.
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      12-29-2021, 08:18 AM   #12661
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan stewart View Post
Im needing to find out how serious this girl is about never having kids. Im 40 and dodged that shit my whole life, Im not about to fuck that up now. I like my money, I like my hobbies, I like my travel.

She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.
48 and dodged it as well. My other 2 serious relationships, 7 & 4 yrs both girls went on to have 5 and 3 kids respectively.

My reasoning was the same as yours
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      12-29-2021, 08:25 AM   #12662
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan stewart View Post
Im needing to find out how serious this girl is about never having kids. Im 40 and dodged that shit my whole life, Im not about to fuck that up now. I like my money, I like my hobbies, I like my travel.

She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.
She wants kids. She thinks she'll change your mind.

EDIT: I'd watch that one and be careful. By saying "You'd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" she is making it about YOU and not her. Forgive me, but it sounds pretty manipulative.
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      12-29-2021, 08:28 AM   #12663
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Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
She wants kids. She thinks she'll change your mind.
100%, clear as a bell, what are missing here chief?
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      12-29-2021, 11:07 AM   #12664
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan stewart View Post
She says she agrees but then occasionally gets emotional and backtracks, "youd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" and other BS.
Only one word if so: RUN!
To be serious, those kid-question would be the second one after "how about a longer duration e.g." and if her answer is "yes", Im out instantly, no compromises.
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      12-29-2021, 11:22 AM   #12665
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
She wants kids. She thinks she'll change your mind.

EDIT: I'd watch that one and be careful. By saying "You'd be a great dad" "I want you to have a legacy" she is making it about YOU and not her. Forgive me, but it sounds pretty manipulative.
Yeah it's kind of becoming a very recent yellow flag at least.

She does like once a year go into that mode, it's really about her and she admits it but she kind of tries to talk me into it. But then like in the next sentence sure members traveling to Italy or hanging out on a Caribbean Beach And decide she'd rather do that too.

It's never actually become a fight, it's almost like a period thing.
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      12-29-2021, 06:19 PM   #12666
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Question - if your ex (who still has feelings for you) bought you a Christmas gift and you wore it, how would your current partner respond?
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      12-29-2021, 08:18 PM   #12667
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Question - if your ex (who still has feelings for you) bought you a Christmas gift and you wore it, how would your current partner respond?
I'd probably have a new Ex
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      12-30-2021, 01:33 AM   #12668
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How do you wear a golf club?

Last edited by Tambohamilton; 12-30-2021 at 05:15 AM..
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      12-30-2021, 02:04 AM   #12669
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Originally Posted by Tambohamilton View Post
How do yo wear a golf club?
It's hidden when worn.





Oooops
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      12-30-2021, 10:23 AM   #12670
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Originally Posted by Tambohamilton View Post
How do you wear a golf club?
Is that a 9 wood in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
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      12-30-2021, 11:58 AM   #12671
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Originally Posted by Onesie View Post
It's hidden when worn.





Oooops
Hopefully you at least took the grip off first.
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      12-30-2021, 02:49 PM   #12672
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan stewart View Post
Yeah it's kind of becoming a very recent yellow flag at least.

She does like once a year go into that mode, it's really about her and she admits it but she kind of tries to talk me into it. But then like in the next sentence sure members traveling to Italy or hanging out on a Caribbean Beach And decide she'd rather do that too.

It's never actually become a fight, it's almost like a period thing.
The ticking noise she is hearing is only going to get louder. I hate to say it chief, you need to tackle this head on now and even then, i don't think she will be honest with herself
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