[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Kelse92

Curious, all other things equal (eg personality compatibility, chemistry, mutual attraction, etc), how much weight you guys put on things like age/financial status/career path when dating??

Currently in a situation where I've been on a few dates with a few different guys and all three are great and pretty much equal in all of the personal categories; but all very different in the "material" categories if you want to label it that. Not sure which road I want to go down if I want to pursue a relationship with any, each one has pros-cons. Without getting too much into specifics...
The oldest one is the most well off/stable career & 1yr divorced & college age children
Youngest one (closest to my age) most risky/unclear career path & no kids
Third one right in-between and has a 2yr old son & travels for work 70-80% of the time & half the weekends not traveling are spent with his son.

Obviously you guys can't make the decision for me but curious how you all weigh these things from your perspectives, all other things being equal.

In your scenario I'm the old guy. Financially stable no kids able to do anything. If I were to date anyone, having no kids would be my preference, or college age, where they're not tied down. Younger children where they have full custody or unreliable exs are something I wish to avoid. I'm in a position where I can travel at will, and have several overseas trips planned for next year - but if someone has young children it would be hard for them to join me.

I've been seeing someone recently who has a younger (11) child and no ex around, so it's difficult. Between that and being a teacher where they have specific times for vacations, I'm not sure it will work - my overseas trips are scheduled around other people not me, so I can't just re-schedule them for when she could be free from work and might be able to find someone to look after her children. Not entirely sure I want a relationship where I vacation alone.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

She got the D, just someone else's.

I got the P too, just one of my regulars.

[FuriouslyFast]

A woman I have been seeing abruptly and out of the blue told me adios yesterday. She said b/c I do not talk on the phone enough & she needs validation. I asked for a real answer not a canned bs text message & she said I do not tell her she is pretty. Are you 14 yrs old? JFC!

Also, we texted on the regular & not like I never took calls, but I am on the phone for a living so that's the last thing I want to do when I get home.

This also happened a couple days after she said she had feelings for me. I guess she thought I expected a Christmas gift & bailed now vs later? I didn't expect a thing b/c she was not getting anything anyway.

[Germanauto]

Originally Posted by bimmer456

Sounds good to me. I don't get why you'd want to force it and have unnatural interactions with someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with. There may be a very small percentage of people doing that, the vast majority are not.

I just thought if I go on a few dates something might spark, but nothing did. I gave it a chance.

[Dang3r]

I mean, from a not closer specified age the most people had set their preferences to the rest of their life and the older they get, the lesser are the willing compromises. Thats maybe caused by the increased lifestyle and more money, the comfort to decide by mood and not by someone elses circumstances.
Encountered that by myself when on the hunt (so to speak), some ladies had disqualifying themselves by triggering the wrong buttons and thats it, no second try for them.
Basically I was at no time into the past looking primary for a longer relation, marriage or a real family. Meeting someone, dating, more or less serious relationship for longer or shorter terms and then lets see where it ends. Even it was only for a few nights and just for fun, who cares, its my life. Never felt really alone and I never felt the rush to get couple'd at any cost just because I must. When you'd rammed your corner piles into the ground and your potential partner agrees to your "manifest" and his own plans matching your imaginations...which better things more could happen?
For me and my european mentality its funny to learn something about your US-habits, they seem sometimes so different.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by dinonz

In your scenario I'm the old guy. Financially stable no kids able to do anything. If I were to date anyone, having no kids would be my preference, or college age, where they're not tied down. Younger children where they have full custody or unreliable exs are something I wish to avoid. I'm in a position where I can travel at will, and have several overseas trips planned for next year - but if someone has young children it would be hard for them to join me.

I've been seeing someone recently who has a younger (11) child and no ex around, so it's difficult. Between that and being a teacher where they have specific times for vacations, I'm not sure it will work - my overseas trips are scheduled around other people not me, so I can't just re-schedule them for when she could be free from work and might be able to find someone to look after her children. Not entirely sure I want a relationship where I vacation alone.

I'm in a similar position. But the children don't have to be grade-school-age to be an obstacle. There are "children" well into their 20's who are still in an infantile state because their moms have never pried them off the tit and made them grow up. With smartphones, they're constantly pinging Mommy for one stupid thing or another, so Mommy's cell phone ends up glued to her face. I find that unattractive in the extreme.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

A woman I have been seeing abruptly and out of the blue told me adios yesterday. She said b/c I do not talk on the phone enough & she needs validation. I asked for a real answer not a canned bs text message & she said I do not tell her she is pretty. Are you 14 yrs old? JFC!

Also, we texted on the regular & not like I never took calls, but I am on the phone for a living so that's the last thing I want to do when I get home.

This also happened a couple days after she said she had feelings for me. I guess she thought I expected a Christmas gift & bailed now vs later? I didn't expect a thing b/c she was not getting anything anyway.

Sounds like she saved you a headache. She probably figured out you have others on the side and didn't like that, haha.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by pennsiveguy

I'm in a similar position. But the children don't have to be grade-school-age to be an obstacle. There are "children" well into their 20's who are still in an infantile state because their moms have never pried them off the tit and made them grow up. With smartphones, they're constantly pinging Mommy for one stupid thing or another, so Mommy's cell phone ends up glued to her face. I find that unattractive in the extreme.

I was just talking to one telling me her son in college still doesn't have a license & another complaining about paying her kid's college tuition. Then they wonder why their kids never grow up & blame everyone but themselves. Based on my experience, most women with kids are just good for FWB or fuck buddies & nothing more unless you want to be miserable your entire life.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by FuriouslyFast

I was just talking to one telling me her son in college still doesn't have a license & another complaining about paying her kid's college tuition. Then they wonder why their kids never grow up & blame everyone but themselves. Based on my experience, most women with kids are just good for FWB or fuck buddies & nothing more unless you want to be miserable your entire life.

Which is a big red flag they are bad parents and make poor decisions in life which you want no part of.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

She got the D, just someone else's.

Not necessarily. While there are many many many sluts out there (both men and women, hence the STD thread) some people will reach a certain point with someone physically then get completely scared of going further due to past trauma, anxiety, fear of the future, etc. I believe part of this to be caused by social media and low human interaction. Put simply, people don't know WTF to do when they are with other humans anymore. Nobody drives 2 hours to be with someone they think is attractive, fool around for a little while, and not go further unless other things are going on.

Guaranteed she was looking for validation, then when the juices actually started flowing she went "wait a minute" and reality made her leave. Just like how guys will bang a girl they think is hot, then when they realize she has zero personality they bail.

[pennsiveguy]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Which is a big red flag they are bad parents and make poor decisions in life which you want no part of.

Yeah, that signals to me that they've been horribly overprotective of the kids towards the goal of keeping them helpless and dependent. Not sure what motivates that, but I know I can't fix it and it'll drive me nuts to watch.

[UncleWede]

When I met my wife she had 2 teen boys AND her sister living with her. Made alone-time a tad more difficult, but also even more exciting.

When the first wife left, I was seriously afraid I'd end up the old cat-man on the beach . . . she saved me from a fate worse than death. 20 years later, even with all her fam-damily all around us, I couldn't be happier.






(no, she doesn't read these)

[Dang3r]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

(no, she doesn't read these)

You know if she did, that would bring you automatically to the ban-section

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Not necessarily. While there are many many many sluts out there (both men and women, hence the STD thread) some people will reach a certain point with someone physically then get completely scared of going further due to past trauma, anxiety, fear of the future, etc. I believe part of this to be caused by social media and low human interaction. Put simply, people don't know WTF to do when they are with other humans anymore. Nobody drives 2 hours to be with someone they think is attractive, fool around for a little while, and not go further unless other things are going on.

Guaranteed she was looking for validation, then when the juices actually started flowing she went "wait a minute" and reality made her leave. Just like how guys will bang a girl they think is hot, then when they realize she has zero personality they bail.

Or she was just another tease that wanted attention. Either way, I lost no sleep.

[FuriouslyFast]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

When I met my wife she had 2 teen boys AND her sister living with her. Made alone-time a tad more difficult, but also even more exciting.

When the first wife left, I was seriously afraid I'd end up the old cat-man on the beach . . . she saved me from a fate worse than death. 20 years later, even with all her fam-damily all around us, I couldn't be happier.






(no, she doesn't read these)

She saved you? You might have a vagina & live on a planet not called Earth

[someguywithanm3]

Why are women crazy? I went from finding my soulmate to being with someone who occasionally loses her mind.

I have a failed marriage under my belt, so I try to be on my best behavior every day, but I still get nagged at about once every two weeks. She gets mad and I think she wants to fight, so I tell her I don't want to fight and disengage. She then loves me again the next day or two days after each incident and acts like nothing happened.

What the heck am I doing wrong now? She gets mad over dumb crap like my ex. She'll compare herself to my ex and then tell me that I want her back. (I don't bring up my ex nor do I compare her to my ex, ever). I don't like my ex at all.

What do you guys do when your wife or girlfriend isn't acting rationally?

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Kelse92

Curious, all other things equal (eg personality compatibility, chemistry, mutual attraction, etc), how much weight you guys put on things like age/financial status/career path when dating??

Currently in a situation where I've been on a few dates with a few different guys and all three are great and pretty much equal in all of the personal categories; but all very different in the "material" categories if you want to label it that. Not sure which road I want to go down if I want to pursue a relationship with any, each one has pros-cons. Without getting too much into specifics...
The oldest one is the most well off/stable career & 1yr divorced & college age children
Youngest one (closest to my age) most risky/unclear career path & no kids
Third one right in-between and has a 2yr old son & travels for work 70-80% of the time & half the weekends not traveling are spent with his son.

Obviously you guys can't make the decision for me but curious how you all weigh these things from your perspectives, all other things being equal.

idk we clearly are at different points of our lives and im a guy so definitely different decision making processes
but - old guy is how old? if you're 27 and he's well past his 35 then idk that just might be weird. I most certainly wouldn't want to get involved in a relationship with someone who's more than 6-7 years older than I am.

And as someone else said, there are other guys lol if you have to ask to randos off a car forum about a potential boyfriend/husband should you really be there?

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Which is a big red flag they are bad parents and make poor decisions in life which you want no part of.

no license is funny especially to this forum, but I wouldn't consider paying tuition a poor decision making on the parents' end...

complaining about it does add a bit of "lol why are you doing it then didn't you know going into this"

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

Why are women crazy? I went from finding my soulmate to being with someone who occasionally loses her mind.

I have a failed marriage under my belt, so I try to be on my best behavior every day, but I still get nagged at about once every two weeks. She gets mad and I think she wants to fight, so I tell her I don't want to fight and disengage. She then loves me again the next day or two days after each incident and acts like nothing happened.

What the heck am I doing wrong now? She gets mad over dumb crap like my ex. She'll compare herself to my ex and then tell me that I want her back. (I don't bring up my ex nor do I compare her to my ex, ever). I don't like my ex at all.

What do you guys do when your wife or girlfriend isn't acting rationally?

Wait I might be confusing the guys but didn't you marry your gf so that she wouldn't get deported after school? (If that's another guy, apologies)

And my guy regardless of the situation, "leaving your girl because she's irrational is like moving houses because of gravity" However, the compare herself to the ex is a bit of a red flag for me. Jealousy is good until it's not, this is the "until it's not" part

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Wait I might be confusing the guys but didn't you marry your gf so that she wouldn't get deported after school? (If that's another guy, apologies)

And my guy regardless of the situation, "leaving your girl because she's irrational is like moving houses because of gravity" However, the compare herself to the ex is a bit of a red flag for me. Jealousy is good until it's not, this is the "until it's not" part

Wrong guy lol.

I'm going to leave this chick. Too many headaches. I think I was meant to be single.

Keep in mind, I've been super nice to her this whole time.

[andrewmr]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

Why are women crazy?

I was at a friends house over the weekend and he was showing me his new Google Home (Alexa). So I asked Alexa, why are women crazy...... she's still answering.....

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by andrewmr

I was at a friends house over the weekend and he was showing me his new Google Home (Alexa). So I asked Alexa, why are women crazy...... she's still answering.....

Hahahahaha

[Rmtt]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

Why are women crazy? I went from finding my soulmate to being with someone who occasionally loses her mind.

I have a failed marriage under my belt, so I try to be on my best behavior every day, but I still get nagged at about once every two weeks. She gets mad and I think she wants to fight, so I tell her I don't want to fight and disengage. She then loves me again the next day or two days after each incident and acts like nothing happened.

What the heck am I doing wrong now? She gets mad over dumb crap like my ex. She'll compare herself to my ex and then tell me that I want her back. (I don't bring up my ex nor do I compare her to my ex, ever). I don't like my ex at all.

What do you guys do when your wife or girlfriend isn't acting rationally?

Never be on your best behavior, be yourself. She knows what she was getting into. My wife did, and she knows I don't care to argue about petty stuff.

In the past if she were to bring up the ex....I would squash it quick and ask why would I be with her....because even if we were not together, I wouldn't be with my ex.

Then reinforce the idea. That only lasted about a year and was less and less intense as it went by. But my wife is a jealous person while I am not.

My wife is really starting to lighten up, or I have corrupted her. We get each other gifts "for our eyes only"....this is what she gave me earlier!

And yes...it's going in my wallet! **Edit** By the way, I am a short guy..maybe 5'8" on a good day. But when you are short...everything looks bigger!

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

Why are women crazy? I went from finding my soulmate to being with someone who occasionally loses her mind.

I have a failed marriage under my belt, so I try to be on my best behavior every day, but I still get nagged at about once every two weeks. She gets mad and I think she wants to fight, so I tell her I don't want to fight and disengage. She then loves me again the next day or two days after each incident and acts like nothing happened.

What the heck am I doing wrong now? She gets mad over dumb crap like my ex. She'll compare herself to my ex and then tell me that I want her back. (I don't bring up my ex nor do I compare her to my ex, ever). I don't like my ex at all.

What do you guys do when your wife or girlfriend isn't acting rationally?

you have become her toy...
you need to put her in check.
1. when she starts ranting.. cut her off by slamming a chair, slam something hard.
2. tell her, she has 90 seconds to cool off, you are not putting up with her shit.
3. slam the door, go for a walk.
4. come back and ignore her, watch tv or pretend your busy lol