[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

also, my guy with the "we were friends but we had sex", it happens - if she's still hitting you up to chill she's fine, i'd say keep it at that and turn that friendship into a friends with benefits

im in a similar situation myself, we've been "spotted" by a few of my friends at the mall and target etc and honestly? it's nice to have a "girlfriend" without the label, at least until she hits me with the "what are we" question... until then

THIS! A non-labeled, mutual respect, FWB relationship is the way to go as long as both parties are committed to only sleeping with each other. This is ideal for sure. someguywithanm3 take notes.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

THIS! A non-labeled, mutual respect, FWB relationship is the way to go as long as both parties are committed to only sleeping with each other. This is ideal for sure. someguywithanm3 take notes.

uh...
as far as i know she doesn't sleep around with someone else, i do - she knows i don't see her exclusive so it's not like im getting stuff done behind her back

either way i don't really care because im not trying to make a girlfriend, especially since she's a year older than me (graduating this year). at MOST we'll go on until the end of summer but at that point i'd rather keep stuff as-is than become exes

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

uh...
as far as i know she doesn't sleep around with someone else, i do - she knows i don't see her exclusive so it's not like im getting stuff done behind her back

either way i don't really care because im not trying to make a girlfriend, especially since she's a year older than me (graduating this year). at MOST we'll go on until the end of summer but at that point i'd rather keep stuff as-is than become exes

My exclusivity comment was directed more at someguy. Personally, as long as everyone is comfortable and understands the circumstances, you do you sir.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

She feels bad about it. She doesn't want me to think of her as a slut. She also gave me the whole, "you're a good friend and I'm sorry if I hurt you." I'm avoiding her and she's reaching out to me to hang out.

I'm giving her time to think, but I feel I messed this up. I guess time will tell. I do regret it, but I couldn't maintain a simple relationship with her anyway. Too bad she's not ugly. I enjoyed talking to her.

I don't get it? If you are worried about having messed up this relationship, then it sounds like you care. And if you care, why are you avoiding her?

Dolt.

This is by far the stupidest move you could do, so call her back if you want this relationship to survive. Otherwise, you are right, it is over, but not because she wanted it to end.

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

I don't get it? If you are worried about having messed up this relationship, then it sounds like you care. And if you care, why are you avoiding her?

Dolt.

This is by far the stupidest move you could do, so call her back if you want this relationship to survive. Otherwise, you are right, it is over, but not because she wanted it to end.

She seemed pretty emotional about the experience. I was just trying to give her some time to figure out what she wants.

I have spoken to her since, but I'm not around like I used to be.

Perhaps you're right. I'll hang out with her and discuss things.

[aozer]

Got a tinder date tomorrow. She is pretty young, 23 and I’m 30. Really pretty face but no full body shots so I’m assuming she is gonna be fat but maybe I’ll get lucky.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

She seemed pretty emotional about the experience. I was just trying to give her some time to figure out what she wants.

I have spoken to her since, but I'm not around like I used to be.

Perhaps you're right. I'll hang out with her and discuss things.

Solid idea. Report back.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

She seemed pretty emotional about the experience. I was just trying to give her some time to figure out what she wants.

I have spoken to her since, but I'm not around like I used to be.

Perhaps you're right. I'll hang out with her and discuss things.

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Solid idea. Report back.

Agreed, let us know. Best be honest with her...you probably needed to sort yourself out too and needed time which she'll understand if you tell her.

But be honest with what you want, not what you think she wants, given that you are either going to progress to the next level in your relationship, or it effectively ends for all intents and purposes (never be the same). But I think it will be one or the other...so go for broke if you already think it might be over...tell her what you really want.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by aozer

Got a tinder date tomorrow. She is pretty young, 23 and I’m 30. Really pretty face but no full body shots so I’m assuming she is gonna be fat but maybe I’ll get lucky.

Yeah, the no body shots are a dead give away for being overweight.....also a good indicator that you will indeed get lucky. Funny how these things go hand in hand.

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Yeah, the no body shots are a dead give away for being overweight.....also a good indicator that you will indeed get lucky. Funny how these things go hand in hand.

Funny how nothing changes. Before I met my wife (and that was almost 13 years ago now), I distinctly recall knowing that no body shots almost guaranteed a person who was overweight.

I see the same applies today.

[Germanauto]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

I'm sad to report that this is not limited to millennials. This has become the societal norm these days. A persons loyalty is directly associated with their need of what they think you can offer them.

Yup and with dating apps and social media, primarily Instagram, girls have it REALLY easy when trying to find someone better than you. A dude can be the complete package but once she gets bored and find somebody else to text its game over.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Now_Rudi

Yeah, the no body shots are a dead give away for being overweight.....also a good indicator that you will indeed get lucky. Funny how these things go hand in hand.

Originally Posted by Germanauto

Yup and with dating apps and social media, primarily Instagram, girls have it REALLY easy when trying to find someone better than you. A dude can be the complete package but once she gets bored and find somebody else to text its game over.

that's kinda the reason im not getting close with that girl, knowing her "doormat" i wouldn't be surprised if she has multiple orbiters that send her free stuff whenever she wants

i hate instagram thotties and orbiter incels tbqh like im a nice person but i can't stand those groups at all..

oh and fat people. not like thicc girls but like "i eat the sponge in my bed" fat or "healthy at every size" fat.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

She feels bad about it. She doesn't want me to think of her as a slut. She also gave me the whole, "you're a good friend and I'm sorry if I hurt you." I'm avoiding her and she's reaching out to me to hang out.

I'm giving her time to think, but I feel I messed this up. I guess time will tell. I do regret it, but I couldn't maintain a simple relationship with her anyway. Too bad she's not ugly. I enjoyed talking to her.

I'm just catching up as I'm on vacay but I'm confused why this chick can't be your gf. You seem to like each other as friends and have physical chemistry.

[BronkaidBrah]

Once upon a time, I’m talking circa 2015, I decided to give tinder a try. I was having decent luck but most of the women I matched with were either extremely dull , extremely clingy, or fronts for escort services. One seemed to stand out and ended up sounding really interesting so I ended up asking for her number so I didn’t have to deal with texting through the app. During our chat she brought up how her car was acting up and how she wished she was skilled enough to diagnose it . I used this as an opportunity to meet up and have something to do since I really didn’t have anything to do with my time other than work, sleep, lift, and eat, and wanted a change of pace. I tell her I can probably figure it out in no time at all and after convincing her I was not a serial killer, she gives me her address and I head out. I get there and I was greeted a women who vaguely resembled her profile pics. Like it could have been her 10-15 years ago but the camera must have took off 15- 125lbs. The “Facebook angles” were real. I’m not going to be a blatant jerk so I introduce myself and immediately change the topic to to broken car so there will be no chance of any romantics. Turns out her maf was just unplugged, I plug it in and clear her code and all was well. She asks what I want in return for coming out , and I jokingly say a McDouble and a 10 piece nuggets. She invites me inside to wash up and pours me a drink. I want to decline but it’s almost impossible for me to turn down a free drink especially when it’s whiskey. One drink turned into another and another and another, she got me exactly where she wanted. Too drunk to leave and relaxed enough that my mindset turned into “whatever happens happens” her demeanor almost instantly changed. She made me watch dance moms with her and give her massage. I wanted to leave but also didn’t want a dwi. In hindsight I wish I would have thought of calling a cab, I don’t recall things like Uber being mainstream as of yet. Night falls and she brings me to the bedroom to sleep it off, I don’t want to speak about what happened, just know it involved me cowering in the corner of her bed and waking up in the middle of the night with my arm trapped under her body numb from the lack of blood circulation with no escape. Fast forward to the next morning, I wake up and she makes me put on a pair of “cheekster” style underwear to replace the pair of underwear I apparently “misplaced” and demands to watch me eat a bowl of cereal. Most awkward moment of my life. She gets ready for work and tells me I better be there when she gets back. Once I hear her car leave I make a break for it. 10 hours later I get a text from her asking if I wanted to be her valentine that year. I immediately changed my number and haven’t went on a date since.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by BronkaidBrah

Once upon a time, I’m talking circa 2015, I decided to give tinder a try. I was having decent luck but most of the women I matched with were either extremely dull , extremely clingy, or fronts for escort services. One seemed to stand out and ended up sounding really interesting so I ended up asking for her number so I didn’t have to deal with texting through the app. During our chat she brought up how her car was acting up and how she wished she was skilled enough to diagnose it . I used this as an opportunity to meet up and have something to do since I really didn’t have anything to do with my time other than work, sleep, lift, and eat, and wanted a change of pace. I tell her I can probably figure it out in no time at all and after convincing her I was not a serial killer, she gives me her address and I head out. I get there and I was greeted a women who vaguely resembled her profile pics. Like it could have been her 10-15 years ago but the camera must have took off 15- 125lbs. The “Facebook angles” were real. I’m not going to be a blatant jerk so I introduce myself and immediately change the topic to to broken car so there will be no chance of any romantics. Turns out her maf was just unplugged, I plug it in and clear her code and all was well. She asks what I want in return for coming out , and I jokingly say a McDouble and a 10 piece nuggets. She invites me inside to wash up and pours me a drink. I want to decline but it’s almost impossible for me to turn down a free drink especially when it’s whiskey. One drink turned into another and another and another, she got me exactly where she wanted. Too drunk to leave and relaxed enough that my mindset turned into “whatever happens happens” her demeanor almost instantly changed. She made me watch dance moms with her and give her massage. I wanted to leave but also didn’t want a dwi. In hindsight I wish I would have thought of calling a cab, I don’t recall things like Uber being mainstream as of yet. Night falls and she brings me to the bedroom to sleep it off, I don’t want to speak about what happened, just know it involved me cowering in the corner of her bed and waking up in the middle of the night with my arm trapped under her body numb from the lack of blood circulation with no escape. Fast forward to the next morning, I wake up and she makes me put on a pair of “cheekster” style underwear to replace the pair of underwear I apparently “misplaced” and demands to watch me eat a bowl of cereal. Most awkward moment of my life. She gets ready for work and tells me I better be there when she gets back. Once I hear her car leave I make a break for it. 10 hours later I get a text from her asking if I wanted to be her valentine that year. I immediately changed my number and haven’t went on a date since.

Oh man....good story.

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by Joekerr

Agreed, let us know. Best be honest with her...you probably needed to sort yourself out too and needed time which she'll understand if you tell her.

But be honest with what you want, not what you think she wants, given that you are either going to progress to the next level in your relationship, or it effectively ends for all intents and purposes (never be the same). But I think it will be one or the other...so go for broke if you already think it might be over...tell her what you really want.

My plan is to go for broke. I can't continue being just a friend. It's frustrating because I can't be around her without wanting more between us. I either go all in or end it completely to avoid any lingering feelings. I can get over women somewhat easily if I break all contact.

The sad part is that I knew from the beginning that I couldn't be her friend for long, but I started talking to her anyway. I enjoyed every minute I've spent with her knowing there was a good chance there would be an unfavorable outcome. She is a good person, a great cook and fun to talk to (among other things), so it's going to be a little tougher to get over her. Oh well, that's life.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

My plan is to go for broke. I can't continue being just a friend. It's frustrating because I can't be around her without wanting more between us. I either go all in or end it completely to avoid any lingering feelings. I can get over women somewhat easily if I break all contact.

The sad part is that I knew from the beginning that I couldn't be her friend for long, but I started talking to her anyway. I enjoyed every minute I've spent with her knowing there was a good chance there would be an unfavorable outcome. She is a good person, a great cook and fun to talk to (among other things), so it's going to be a little tougher to get over her. Oh well, that's life.

so wait, what's the issue?
she's down to hang out, you dont seem like you'd be able to 100% remove yourself at an instant

maybe im not seeing the whole picture here, but why cant you guys be friends with a bit of benefits here and there?

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

My plan is to go for broke. I can't continue being just a friend. It's frustrating because I can't be around her without wanting more between us. I either go all in or end it completely to avoid any lingering feelings. I can get over women somewhat easily if I break all contact.

The sad part is that I knew from the beginning that I couldn't be her friend for long, but I started talking to her anyway. I enjoyed every minute I've spent with her knowing there was a good chance there would be an unfavorable outcome. She is a good person, a great cook and fun to talk to (among other things), so it's going to be a little tougher to get over her. Oh well, that's life.

You sound like a chick bro...why are you complicating things for lol

[someguywithanm3]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

You sound like a chick bro...why are you complicating things for lol

She's the one making it complicated. She wants to remain friends with limited benefits (like hugs and kisses on the cheek), but she wants to hang out often. I can't function in the friend zone like that.

I'm just giving her time to think it over because I'm not going to be a girlfriend w/ penis.

A little more backstory, she's a young widow.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by someguywithanm3

She's the one making it complicated. She wants to remain friends with limited benefits (like hugs and kisses on the cheek), but she wants to hang out often. I can't function in the friend zone like that.

I'm just giving her time to think it over because I'm not going to be a girlfriend w/ penis.

A little more backstory, she's a young widow.

I understand your point, maybe she is not ready for relationship.
Just go with flow, seems like she enjoys your company. If you.like her just tell her.

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by Germanauto

Yup and with dating apps and social media, primarily Instagram, girls have it REALLY easy when trying to find someone better than you. A dude can be the complete package but once she gets bored and find somebody else to text its game over.

This is a huge problem with our culture. It feeds into that instant gratification mentality.

The whole "someone better than you" thing is always a grass is greener on the other side deal. Most people are really not what they try and present to others through instagram or facebook. They try to show the best side of them (literally) and none of the bad. It might be easy to find someone "better" in theory, but most of the time you end up with someone superficial looking to inflate their ego.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by BronkaidBrah

Once upon a time, I’m talking circa 2015, I decided to give tinder a try. I was having decent luck but most of the women I matched with were either extremely dull , extremely clingy, or fronts for escort services. One seemed to stand out and ended up sounding really interesting so I ended up asking for her number so I didn’t have to deal with texting through the app. During our chat she brought up how her car was acting up and how she wished she was skilled enough to diagnose it . I used this as an opportunity to meet up and have something to do since I really didn’t have anything to do with my time other than work, sleep, lift, and eat, and wanted a change of pace. I tell her I can probably figure it out in no time at all and after convincing her I was not a serial killer, she gives me her address and I head out. I get there and I was greeted a women who vaguely resembled her profile pics. Like it could have been her 10-15 years ago but the camera must have took off 15- 125lbs. The “Facebook angles” were real. I’m not going to be a blatant jerk so I introduce myself and immediately change the topic to to broken car so there will be no chance of any romantics. Turns out her maf was just unplugged, I plug it in and clear her code and all was well. She asks what I want in return for coming out , and I jokingly say a McDouble and a 10 piece nuggets. She invites me inside to wash up and pours me a drink. I want to decline but it’s almost impossible for me to turn down a free drink especially when it’s whiskey. One drink turned into another and another and another, she got me exactly where she wanted. Too drunk to leave and relaxed enough that my mindset turned into “whatever happens happens” her demeanor almost instantly changed. She made me watch dance moms with her and give her massage. I wanted to leave but also didn’t want a dwi. In hindsight I wish I would have thought of calling a cab, I don’t recall things like Uber being mainstream as of yet. Night falls and she brings me to the bedroom to sleep it off, I don’t want to speak about what happened, just know it involved me cowering in the corner of her bed and waking up in the middle of the night with my arm trapped under her body numb from the lack of blood circulation with no escape. Fast forward to the next morning, I wake up and she makes me put on a pair of “cheekster” style underwear to replace the pair of underwear I apparently “misplaced” and demands to watch me eat a bowl of cereal. Most awkward moment of my life. She gets ready for work and tells me I better be there when she gets back. Once I hear her car leave I make a break for it. 10 hours later I get a text from her asking if I wanted to be her valentine that year. I immediately changed my number and haven’t went on a date since.

Wolf-chick: you'd rather chew your arm off at the shoulder and escape than wake her