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      01-09-2019, 03:24 PM   #2861
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Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
No puff and puff in there at all?
Sadly not anymore. Gotta keep the pee pee clean these days. Being gainfully employed > love of the herb.
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      01-10-2019, 12:32 AM   #2862
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Originally Posted by Dogeeseegod View Post
She is not a member of this forum, to my knowledge. She could care less about cars except in supporting me. I'm 33 and I admire my wife for being a college educated mindful mother, a teacher, a supportive wife, a reliable sibling and otherwise inspiring person to be around. I tell her these things and I truly believe them.

/preach end

Bad Experience:

After my first divorce I dated a lot of girls that I met in college. 1 in particular I don't keep in contact with because of many bad experiences. I met her at a show I was playing for a birthday party. She's a great looking girl who seems to have her life on track with the exception of being a psychology major forgiven and moving on lol. We hooked up that first night and all was well except her asking me to not use protection because its her preference. I'm in college, I met you 3 hours ago. I'm using protection. The next day she calls me to go out to dinner and I am excited to see her so I agree. I meet her at a local Italian place and when I get there she's at the bar and a little tipsy. I sit at the bar with her and have a few and she gets WASTED. beer beer, shot shot shot shot shot shot..WASTED. She wants to go back to my place and I agree. I call a cab. She throws a fit that I won't drive my car. I've had 3 beers and a shot and I live 20 minutes away, I'd rather not drive, honestly. After her tirade ends we take the cab back to my place and I set up a nice fire for us in the living room. She excuses herself to the bathroom, vomits everywhere and falls into the bathtub, then starts screaming for help (literally at the top of her lungs). Now my roommate is up and upset about the whole incident. I get her wound down and then the police show up at my door because my neighbors heard screaming...After they tell me that I'm trying to rape this girl, they offer to drive her home. I agree with them, she should go home. She attempts to fight both police officers so that she can stay and they literally just left they were so annoyed. At this point she's going to pass out, so I clean her up and take her to my bedroom and put her to bed. I still have explaining to do with my roommate, so I go out to the living room and have "the talk" about what is acceptable and what isn't when sharing a house. Drunk girl is back! This time slurring her speech so bad I can't understand her, naked and trying to jump my nuts on the couch in front of my roommate. I take her back to my room where I find that she has pissed in my bed and taken apart my closet... I am a patient person, I promise. At this point I get upset and she starts crying. I'm hugging her crying naked body when she finally passes out again. I go out and sleep on the couch, furious but trying to find forgiveness. I have overdrank, too. It happens. The next morning she says she never wants to talk to me again because of how rude I was to her last night. I totally agree with her. I was out of line, good bye. For the next month this girl calls me all the time and breaks into my house to sleep in my bed with me (coming in through my window that she broke the lock on). I had to quietly move to not see her again. I also deleted my facebook and myspace accounts for almost 3 months. When I reopened my facebook...I had to have a police officer tell her that I was getting a restraining order on her. She texts me that I'm a pussy because I couldn't just tell her how I felt. I refer her to about 200 texts messages. Luckily she went to jail soon after this for DUI, assaulting an officer and possession of prescription drugs. I was AFRAID of women for a while after this whole shenanigan...
college is always a fun time...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herdalum View Post
Except we know her real name isn’t Joann... or Joanna or anything normal. Doc doesn’t date girls with normal names. This probably was Kerie from Mexican night or if it’s really a new one her name might be Johandy or something...
FUCK joanna though
that's the name of devil herself smh im not a spiteful person but joanna was nothing short of traumatic nothing good can ever come from a joanna

Last edited by Turkish Pickle; 01-10-2019 at 12:37 AM..
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      01-10-2019, 01:36 PM   #2863
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ran into my ex today, heard through the grapevine yesterday that she was "missing me", and i saw her today - the 5'10 thin cutie left and some fat slob replaced her

keep in mind it's been over a year since we broke up from a 29 day relationship so like wtf
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      01-10-2019, 01:45 PM   #2864
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
ran into my ex today, heard through the grapevine yesterday that she was "missing me", and i saw her today - the 5'10 thin cutie left and some fat slob replaced her

keep in mind it's been over a year since we broke up from a 29 day relationship so like wtf
She's been indulging because she misses you. Nothing wrong with a girl who likes sammiches......she'll make you one too!
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We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
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      01-10-2019, 01:49 PM   #2865
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
ran into my ex today, heard through the grapevine yesterday that she was "missing me", and i saw her today - the 5'10 thin cutie left and some fat slob replaced her

keep in mind it's been over a year since we broke up from a 29 day relationship so like wtf
And?
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      01-10-2019, 01:52 PM   #2866
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Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
She's been indulging because she misses you. Nothing wrong with a girl who likes sammiches......she'll make you one too!
dude i swear to god girls are so weird, she's the one that deleted me off snap + blocked me on insta, probably blocked my number too if she really wanted to hit me up in the last damn year and a half she could have

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herdalum View Post
And?
nothing - i was with one of my friends that she doesnt know, the girl said my ex was tilted. i presumed it was because she saw me but she insisted that the ex was tilted because she saw me with another girl?

like okay sure i can see that but ITS BEEN A YEAR OF RADIO SILENCE WOMAN
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      01-10-2019, 01:54 PM   #2867
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Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
dude i swear to god girls are so weird, she's the one that deleted me off snap + blocked me on insta, probably blocked my number too if she really wanted to hit me up in the last damn year and a half she could have


nothing - i was with one of my friends that she doesnt know, the girl said my ex was tilted. i presumed it was because she saw me but she insisted that the ex was tilted because she saw me with another girl?

like okay sure i can see that but ITS BEEN A YEAR OF RADIO SILENCE WOMAN
It’s not unusual for women who break up with you to think you’ll pine forever and could never love another... lol...
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      01-10-2019, 02:01 PM   #2868
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Herdalum View Post
Itís not unusual for women who break up with you to think youíll pine forever and could never love another... lol...
Your ex girl saw you with a girl. This is the beginning and the end of the entire thing. Instant jealousy and your ex is not at all interested. I wouldn't waste a second thought on it, unless a sammich and/or a blow job in lurking in there somewhere.
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Originally Posted by jmg View Post
We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
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      01-10-2019, 02:03 PM   #2869
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
I wouldn't waste a second thought on it, unless a sammich and/or a blow job in lurking in there somewhere.
Lol...that would have to be a helluva sammich...
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      01-10-2019, 02:07 PM   #2870
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Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Your ex girl saw you with a girl. This is the beginning and the end of the entire thing. Instant jealousy and your ex is not at all interested. I wouldn't waste a second thought on it, unless a sammich and/or a blow job in lurking in there somewhere.
smart man

the thing about her not being interested though is this: im still friends with her younger sister and we met up yesterday, literally every 2-3 sentences was about stuff like "would you hit your ex up if you missed her", "what can you do in our town when you have a relationship" etc eventually i flat out asked if she was missing me and she said yes

maybe im thinking too much into it but im flying out on saturday, leaving friday for the possibility of a sandwich

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herdalum View Post
Lol...that would have to be a helluva sammich...
i love a good BLT though
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      01-10-2019, 02:14 PM   #2871
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post

i love a good BLT though
Is that a euphemism?
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      01-10-2019, 02:16 PM   #2872
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Herdalum View Post
Is that a euphemism?
Is bread an enigma, to wrap it in?
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      01-10-2019, 02:16 PM   #2873
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
smart man

the thing about her not being interested though is this: im still friends with her younger sister and we met up yesterday, literally every 2-3 sentences was about stuff like "would you hit your ex up if you missed her", "what can you do in our town when you have a relationship" etc eventually i flat out asked if she was missing me and she said yes

maybe im thinking too much into it but im flying out on saturday, leaving friday for the possibility of a sandwich



i love a good BLT though
I've always been a fan of open face roast beef.
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We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
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      01-10-2019, 02:17 PM   #2874
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Sammich + Blowie = Take me back!

but you need more sammich and blowie for a decision like that lol
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      01-10-2019, 02:19 PM   #2875
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
Is bread an enigma, to wrap it in?
I was more going on the initials... BJ, BLT ? c’mon, there’s gotta be something lewd we can turn that into...
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      01-10-2019, 02:19 PM   #2876
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I gave you a perfectly good answer over there - SMH
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      01-10-2019, 02:21 PM   #2877
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dogeeseegod View Post
Sammich + Blowie = Take me back!

but you need more sammich and blowie for a decision like that lol
Exactly! I'll be honest, the sammich and bj combination are nothing but a sampling at a grocery store if you will. The only other time a sandwich and bj are acceptable is if you are already married, it's a lazy cold, snowy, afternoon and you have the house to yourselves. If the marriage scenario does not apply, then you treat this just like a free sample at a grocery store, say thank you and walk away slowly.
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We're Americans. Leave your logic and science witchcraft out of this! Jesus and guns are all we need.
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      01-10-2019, 02:23 PM   #2878
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Originally Posted by Dogeeseegod View Post
Sammich + Blowie = Take me back!

but you need more sammich and blowie for a decision like that lol
its never going to happen because exes are exes for a reason, this one was distance

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Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Alright gentlemen, I need your help. I posted in the annoying things at the gym thread and as I typed I realized I need to put it up here to get opinions.

The most annoying thing currently at the gym is the girlfriend. After I joined she decided to join as well under the ole "We can work out together." If you did the girlfriend voice thing as you read that we can be friends.

We both get off work at 4:30 p.m. She lives 7 minutes from me exactly. Somehow it takes her 3 hours to go home and change into gym clothes and then meet me at my place. It is now getting to where it is almost 8:00 p.m. before we get to the gym. Mind you I have to be at work at 6:30 a.m. She has also started this new thing where she mismanages her time so poorly throughout the day at her job that she doesn't eat lunch. I eat a lean lunch and don't eat dinner. After leaving the gym around 9:00 - 9:30 she is now hungry. Don't get me wrong I'd like to eat too but I'm also trying to drop an additional 30 pounds. I've tried explaining to her how pointless it is go do a bunch of cardio/weight resistance and then eat that late. My other biggest complaint is that I can leave work, go to the gym and have my entire workout finished before she even gets to my house. Due to the fact of getting to the gym so late, I have to cut my session in half because she is done after 20 minutes and although she doesn't complain, I can tell she gets frustrated having to wait on me to finish.

My gym partner is now causing me not to get the workout in that I want and I'm starting to resent her for it. Last night I made the comment that I may just start going right after work. Her response was "Well I hope it doesn't bother you if I go alone and not get to your house until late because I go later"

WTF, how do I tell her to manage her time more wisely and get her shit together without being an asshole or starting a fight? This could potentially end a 2 1/2 year relationship. I am not going to allow someone else's lack of planning or motivation to derail mine.
does she know you have a gym buddy? if not maybe you can pull the excuse of "i like to work out alone"?
or, a better way - be her gym "teacher", "assigning" her workout routines so while she does her workout you can work out based on your program too
you'll look like youre trying to get her to stay/get in shape but because if she follows the routine you give her you'll also have time to do yours because hers will take just as long
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      01-10-2019, 02:24 PM   #2879
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Herdalum View Post
I was more going on the initials... BJ, BLT ? címon, thereís gotta be something lewd we can turn that into...
Blow, lick, & tickle?
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      01-10-2019, 02:33 PM   #2880
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke View Post
its never going to happen because exes are exes for a reason, this one was distance


does she know you have a gym buddy? if not maybe you can pull the excuse of "i like to work out alone"?
or, a better way - be her gym "teacher", "assigning" her workout routines so while she does her workout you can work out based on your program too
you'll look like youre trying to get her to stay/get in shape but because if she follows the routine you give her you'll also have time to do yours because hers will take just as long
I don't have a gym buddy so she is my gym buddy on the weeks that she doesn't have her kids. On the weeks that she does have her kids, I have to rush home, rush to the gym, then rush to her house, then back to my house to get some sleep before work. On the weeks that her kids aren't home she stays with me, but her lack of communication with me leaves me sitting around waiting on her for 3 hours then cutting workouts short. I can't be her gym "teacher" as I'm trying to build lean muscle and she just kinda lingers around the strength training machines. I've tried to get her to do free weights with me but she isn't interested.

If we do cardio at the same time, she's done after 20-30 minutes. I can go for an hour or more.
Just go for your hour whenever you want. Give her notice and she can put in more effort to be there at the same time...or not.
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      01-10-2019, 02:33 PM   #2881
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
I don't have a gym buddy so she is my gym buddy on the weeks that she doesn't have her kids. On the weeks that she does have her kids, I have to rush home, rush to the gym, then rush to her house, then back to my house to get some sleep before work. On the weeks that her kids aren't home she stays with me, but her lack of communication with me leaves me sitting around waiting on her for 3 hours then cutting workouts short. I can't be her gym "teacher" as I'm trying to build lean muscle and she just kinda lingers around the strength training machines. I've tried to get her to do free weights with me but she isn't interested.

If we do cardio at the same time, she's done after 20-30 minutes. I can go for an hour or more.
Is both of you driving an issue? If not, how about getting her to compromise and cut an hour out of her “delay” time, you go to the gym first and she comes a half hour later. You get your full workout and get out of the gym an hour earlier.
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      01-10-2019, 02:36 PM   #2882
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
I don't have a gym buddy so she is my gym buddy on the weeks that she doesn't have her kids. On the weeks that she does have her kids, I have to rush home, rush to the gym, then rush to her house, then back to my house to get some sleep before work. On the weeks that her kids aren't home she stays with me, but her lack of communication with me leaves me sitting around waiting on her for 3 hours then cutting workouts short. I can't be her gym "teacher" as I'm trying to build lean muscle and she just kinda lingers around the strength training machines. I've tried to get her to do free weights with me but she isn't interested.

If we do cardio at the same time, she's done after 20-30 minutes. I can go for an hour or more.
big oof
(kind of related: hella advise starting strength if you don't have a routine set in stone)
anyway ~ maybe set a goal? like, is she coming with you to get a workout in or to have an eye on you so that you don't drift away to gym bunnies? (don't take this the wrong way i dont know her/you that well)

if im being completely honest though, i hate rushing. that alone is a major no-no for me.
and there's this: lifestyle choices in general. i recall, i think it was you, you mentioning that she wasn't living the healthiest or the most organized, maybe gently remind her that at the end of the day both of you are 30 something at least and that a proper work out can yield better health in the longer term

edit: do NOT make this an ultimatum, i feel like you already know this, but don't be like "either do your workouts properly or xyz" because there's a 99% chance that'll backfire
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