[KRS_SN]

Originally Posted by Jimmy K

What's the difference between the Circus and the Rockettes?

The Circus is a cunning array of stunts...

googled rockettes..the stunts on show are so cunning!

[hubbahubba]

So I got a camera ticket for speeding, and am taking the Improv online Defensive Driving class right now.... Seriously.... One of their jokes:


Sitting on the side of the highway, waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So, he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... is everyone in this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142."

[hubbahubba]

Next bad joke from the Improv:


An angry motorist went back to the garage where he had purchased an expensive battery for his car six months earlier.

He told the garage owner:

"When I bought that battery, you said it would be the last battery my car would ever need. Now six months later, it's dead!"

"Sorry," said the garage owner, "I didn't think your car would last longer than that."

[hubbahubba]

Out driving with his wife, a man sped along a country lane in an increasingly reckless fashion.

"Can't you slow down when you're turning corners?" she complained. "You're scaring the life out of me."

"Do what I do," he replied. "Shut your eyes."

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Soul_Glo

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.

I'll show myself out now.

Updated this for you...

[wdb]

Originally Posted by Soul_Glo

A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear. [...]

Straight from "The Crown." Just saw that episode last night!

[3798j]

.

[JP10]

Originally Posted by Soul_Glo

Blind walks past a fish market.
Takes a deep breath and says...
Good morning ladies!

Crazy Rap - Afroman, hell of a song lol.

[rwheels]

A couple goes to a sex therapist...
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"
The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.
When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.
This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, and pay the doctor, then leave.
Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"
"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied. "She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.