Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc
Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy
She has some great qualities and I don't take these for granted but the areas lacking are of great concern.
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any update? |
After our discussion a few days ago she has made some changes in a few areas. She let me know that her lack of initiative isn't due to not wanting it but more so of her respecting my time schedule and understanding how busy I am and not wanting to be pushy and give me time to unwind rather than being all up in my shit as soon as I'm still for 5 minutes.
On related news with the kids, Christmas day I took her kids some presents and ate dinner with them. The youngest, who is more than a handful, instantly starts acting like he was on meth the second he saw me presents. As soon as dinner was ready and after telling him to come to the table several times, the girlfriend had to literally go grab him by the hand and drag him to his chair. He never put his toy gun down or broke line if sight of the TV. I'm pretty sure he didn't even realize she was dragging him. The entire time we were eating, he was either crying because he couldn't have his toy at the table or was trying to get away so he could see what was on TV.
She could see how annoyed her mother and I were with the fact that nothing was really being done to wrangle him or put a stop to it and she didn't know what to say or how to act. After dinner I sat down with the kids and helped them put their toys together. Of course the youngest wanted to argue with me about how I was doing it wrong so I told him if he knew how to do it just finish it himself. He broke it and then spent 20 minutes crying about it. I noticed several times that the daughter smarted off to her mom about different things and nothing was ever said to her about her mouth.
The reason I mention all of this is that I feel like rather than put an end to this behavior, it's easier for the girlfriend to just let them act this way in order to keep the drama down. From my point of view this is only making it worse. Until she can get some form of control over them I have to keep my time around them limited as I will eventually say something and end up being the asshole.