Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver
Very well said. Like death but worse.
I mentioned to a friend it was like no finding the body of a relative you think died. Lack of closure that eats you away. When you are able to see it clearly it makes it easier. But you still think "what if".
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You're exactly right. No closure whatsoever, you just learn to deal with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke
true and no i am not having any relations with her don't worry 
hope im not prying too much, but what made you guys realize it's time to "walk away"? how did you rationalize that and act on it? |
For 7 years it was a cycle, things would be great for 6 months and she would start to grow distant, then she would disappear for about a month and not want to have anything to do with me; citing I was the problem. They always make the victim the problem to justify their behavior.
I came home from work one afternoon, she had stayed the night before, and I noticed my garage door opener was on the table leading into the house from the garage. I called, as she was supposed to be coming over again that evening and got her voicemail. I sent a couple of texts and no reply. I didn't hear back from her for 3 weeks. She called me up wanting to come stay the weekend with me for sex basically, I accepted. She came, we had sex, she left....never saw her again. No communication whatsoever for 2 more weeks until she sent me a text one night saying she was married. Obviously I was upset as I thought this was just another time she would be gone for a few weeks and she would be back, not the case. In the time frame of about a month and a half she got married to her pen-pal from England and was planning on moving there. They had been pen-pals for 10 years and his mother passed, which yielded an undisclosed amount of money so this was the proverbial carrot for her to dump me and jump on board with him.
Sadly, her son was on a missionary trip that lasted for 2 years with very little communication with the parents. She left for England two days before her son came home. For two years she didn't see her son and she couldn't wait a few more days to leave the country so she could see him, if this paints a picture of what kind of person she is. The son and grandmother went to Spain a few months later and met up with her there. It was the first time either of them had met the new husband.
Haven't seen or spoke to her in over 2 years. I had heard she had been "kicked out of the country" and was back in the U.S. minus the new husband. No clue why and honestly don't care. She did contact me via email last month stating that she wanted to apologize. I replied with:
"In order for you to contact me this must mean that things have gone horribly awry with your current situation. You owe me no apology. I am a grown man and made the decision to stay with you knowing who/what you are; I can only hold myself accountable. You were simply being who you are. Whatever your current problem is I hope that you are able to find a favorable outcome, but your solution doesn't lie with me. Good luck."
Haven't heard back from her and don't expect to.
In short she is the one that ended it and I'm glad she did. I was raised in a family that understands that the people that you care for the most are the ones that will hurt you the most. If you love someone you try to work past the problems and move forward. I tried moving forward while she performed the salsa. Old couples that have been together for 60+ years didn't get there by giving up and leaving when the other person jilted them. I truly loved her and did everything I could to make her see this. It didn't matter to her and I was nothing more than just another branch on the tree that she was trying to get to the top of.
I realized where I went wrong and made corrections to my lifestyle, she is still dependent on her looks and her personality to get her through life as she isn't capable of anything else.
Keep in mind this all happened within close proximity of my father committing suicide with no note or explanation. My entire life changed almost overnight with no closure or reasoning.