I don't have any problem with using BT in the car with my iPhone as well. As eezzee suggested, maybe you need to do a 'forget device' and start again.
Good Luck.
On another matter about the Y cable. I was pretty cheese off to find out I need to shell out £42 for a bloody cable when my wife's Honda are perfectly happy to accept a normal Apple USB cable. Searching through Amazon and eBay, I found out you can get a third party one for about a third of the price. So far it works perfectly fine.
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