View Single Post
      11-06-2018, 10:12 AM   #1545
________
________
4157
Rep
2,301
Posts

Drives: ________
Join Date: Sep 2018
Location: ________

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
I don't know but my guess is:

As usual, we got infatuated when started dating, lots of passion, heat (not like upstatedoc), made plans, moved in together, did lots of stuff together (move out, new houses, international trips, MBA together, Post grad together, etc)
Then we got married...
At a certain point things weren't so hot anymore, and I fully accept that is normal.
But I started to feel like I was the only one "starting things" so to speak.
So, maybe instinctively or counterproductively I started to "not" start things. As in: you should do something as well.

Well, lo and behold, we'd go months with just a closed lip kiss everyday...

It took me a couple of years to decide that wasn't going to work and left.

Apparently for her the passion is still there and she regrets not making any move. But I'm uncertain I'd be open for that now...

Do you guys have kids? They can be a drag on time (young ones anyway). I think you said you didn't, but just checking.

What is it that changed for you that you no longer feel physically attracted to her? Has her appearance changed, has yours? Is it because she never seemed to initiate?

Trying to figure out what changed here in your view. There was a book I read about love languages (and how each person is different, but broadly they fall into specific categories) and how its important to understand the other's love language (and they need to understand yours), so that each of you can reach out on their level.

If she's committed to making it work and making changes (and you doing the same where needed as well, because it is rarely only one-sided, though I believe that can happen, just in exceptional circumstances), this relationship could work.

But I think you need to really figure out what changed for you to lose that physical component - it is important.
Hey thanks...
I replied to never enough above while you were writing, but yes, no kids, and nothing changed physically or behaviourally, my guess is that the no initiation from her part drove me away.
Maybe she was raised that way. I don't know.
Appreciate 0