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      11-06-2018, 09:49 AM   #1534
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver View Post
BMW, I'll side with everyone here. Bimmette made the first point, which can be valid, I won't say run literally, but do not get attached.

She's certifiable as Never_Enough said. A quick search on Plath mentioned she had been depressed her entire adult life.

You have little in common, she has many MANY signs of BPD. She's cute but from her pictures I got a vibe of "she's meh", her smile is not all there in any pictures, and she does not look athletic at all. Not saying that's bad, but it won't be like you.

All in all, she WILL hurt you when you get attached.

One thing, I believe, you have to get out of your head is the notion that you have to know the next steps. Do not look for a relationship. Do not try to certify something into a relationship. The best ones will kind of happen, and when you look at it you're in a relationship.

If you're like me, and get attached too easily, cool off with her and focus on something else.
If you can have fun with her and focus on your studies (very important) and having fun with your friends and other girls, why not keep her as a "friend"? Don't force yourself into anything, just go with the flow.

You're too young and have LOTS to lose to get involved to the point of trying to figure it out or "help" other people. You need to help yourself, graduate with fucking honours, get a visa, get a job. Enjoy youth. It goes by fast. If you don't now, you'll be a dysfunctional adult.

Just don't overthink stuff. Have fun, and if you're getting attached, get away. If it's meant to be it will be. Stop looking for a relationship, you'll come back saying you're in one when it happens.

When in doubt, play it safe. That's going to help you throughout life.
my man
graduating with honors is a bit out of the picture as of my junior year, but i'll graduate in time with a decent resume and a slightly above average GPA so i'll take that. I'm kinda like you and then again not in terms of attachment - there are people I can get attached too easily to but I feel the need to analyze someone's behavior before so that I don't risk my own ass, hence why I wrote that post. And honestly as shitty as this might sound, I'm not trying to help anyone out since there's too much I need to figure out for myself, and generally speaking I'm a slightly selfish person. For some reason I always need to have an exit strategy even though I prefer going in and doing something and if it happens it happens, it's a weird balance for sure.

But I completely get where you're coming from with that post, and I'll keep it in mind.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy View Post
Bayerische Motoren Werke she is probably expecting you to run at this point. Show some interest and see what happens. It will do both of you some good, trust me. I will recommend that you be extremely transparent here and do not make her feel like it's something that it is not but I would definitely not just toss her aside. Some of my closest friends were at one point a potential love interest that just didn't work out. I didn't run from them or ghost them, I was honest and open with them about how I felt. These people are the ones that will be there for you later in life and help you when you need it.
I like that idea, honestly I'm not thinking of ghosting but more of submarining (it's when you reduce contact to every now and then basically) but I like the being a contrarian idea. She said she'd come down for thanksgiving since she doesn't even go home for the break, which is odd but whatever, if she does she does if not I think we all know what the Dating Veterans advise.
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