Quote:
Originally Posted by Herdalum
Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy
I appreciate the time you took to type all that and understand where you're coming from. Yes, you and I are a lot alike. I've built my life to where I depend on no one. I like to think that I am relatively successful...car, house, good job, I try to take care of myself. dress nice and whatnot. Unfortunately this poses problems as well as women see this and want to latch on.
I'm in a place in my life where I do not want to be in the typical sense of a relationship because the last one I was in really fucked me up. I went full retard, you never go full retard. I started dating the girlfriend just to have someone to do things with and I was physically attracted to her. Personality wise, she is not at all my type. I generally go for more girly girls who are extremely smart (I'm sapiosexual) and quick witted. The problem is these are usually the women who are only interested in attention and they can get that from any man. These types of relationships usually doesn't last long because I work 50+ hours a weeks, plus help run a side business with a friend of mine, typical homeowner yard word, remodeling, working on the car and going to the gym leaves little time for me to drop what I'm doing to spend time with someone because they're bored.
The current girlfriend simply wants my time and is willing to work around my schedule for it which I appreciate, but the main reason I'm with her is because it's safe and I'm not going to get hurt. The downside is that she will eventually get hurt. I do care about her and she has a ton of great qualities but she isn't someone that I can have deep conversations with which leaves me needing more.
I guess it works for what it is now but I don't see it standing the test of time. The weird thing is the thought of her dating someone else bothers me. My friends give me hell because they have said they would trade places with me in an instant and have a steady flow of women. I've done this but it gets old eventually. Honestly I don't know what I'm doing here.
Rather than answer your questions publicly, I'll take them a rhetorical and ponder the answers myself, dig deep and decide what I need to do not only for me but her as well.
Thank you for you input man.
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Well, from personal experience if you think it would bother you if she dated other guys I'd be very careful about cutting her loose. I messed up a time or two that way and regretted it. Not telling you anything you don't already know, I'm sure. A lot of what you said about her would really bother me, too, though. But a lot wouldn't. I couldn't care less if she initiates sex as long as the answer is "great" when I do. Some women just can't make that move, maybe they're concerned you would decline the offer, I don't know. The kid thing would be a concern for me. But, hey, the bottom line here is, as Norm used to say, (and not to make light of your situation) "women, can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts"... |
Yeah man, like I said before maybe it's just because I'm used to dating women who typically throw themselves at me and have no problem just taking what they want. The girlfriend is very submissive, which can be fun but it would be nice for her to initiate too.
The kid thing isn't a huge deal. We have discussed this and she understands that because I don't spend as much time with my kids as I would like, it's hard for me to be around other kids in that role. She understands and is cool with it but I also understand that she would like for all of us to be around her together. She doesn't pressure me about it though.
She has some great qualities and I don't take these for granted but the areas lacking are of great concern.