Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver
Since upstatedoc is now in a relationship, and therefore out of this dating thread, I will interject as I need help.
Few will remember (I hope) about my marriage and BPD situation.
A few weeks back I moved back home and I'm trying to make the marriage work.
Why? Well, she missed me, I missed her. Life without her wasn't the same, I'd much rather travel and do stuff with her than alone.
I believe this is normal after any breakup, you miss doing stuff or going to the same places without that person.
However, that got me thinking: what's it going to be? Am I just going to go from girlfriend to girlfriend?
I can't think of anyone who wants me more, who I can talk about ANYTHING, who knows me well, and who likes doing all I like doing (I mean, it kind of gets exhausting to hear girls don't like doing sports, don't ski, get sick or ask you to slow down when you're driving)... she's even with me on politics...
I couldn't think of anyone I'd like to have kids with so they could be raised with her values as well as mine.
All signs point to the right direction, right?
I thought I was going through a mid-life crisis at 36...
But since I lost physical attraction to her, how do I make it work?
Any personal experience in "reigniting the flame" so to speak?
That seems to be the piece that's missing and makes me VERY doubtful about the short-term future...
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I've been through this. I like to think my experiences in life have lead me down a path to where I can help others and I have been in your same exact situation. My only advice, leave. If you are not physically attracted it is not going to work. Physical attraction is essential for a physical relationship. Sex is a big part of a relationship. You may not smoke but "A re-lit cigarette will never taste the same."
I tried for 9 years to make a relationship work that just didn't. That was 9 years of my life wasted on someone that simply wasn't worth my time or effort.
My best advice is to spend some time alone. It sucks, it's hard but it's essential. You have to be able to learn to be happy with yourself and to be happy alone before you will every be good for anyone. Just my two cents. Feel free to PM if you want to discuss further.