Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt
I was 30 when I got divorced from my first wife. I got custody of our daughter, and didn't even think if dating for a couple of years although I could have.
But I decided to spend that time with my daughter and keep things as stable as possible for her.
I also learned that I could be perfectly happy being by myself, and that really opened up a whole new perspective of how to live my life.
When I did start dating again.....women at that age seemed to be desperate in my area. I made it a point to be upfront that I wasn't interested in anything serious as I was just getting my feet wet again.
But I also learned I was basically a shallow person when it came to relationships. I always preferred the ones most others seen as unattainable ......and that typically led me to women who while on the outside you would think had it all going for them....they were very needy and clingy.
I can't deal with an insecure, clingy person. I don't have a jealous bone in my body. But all those ones I did date were so demanding and persistent...and I would end it.
Plus I hated leaving a date to get a phone call 10 minutes later saying....Hey...what you up to? I'm like driving home.... I just left you.
That's what attracted me to my current wife. Most women I would see for the first date would be calling me that same day. When I went out with my current wife, we didn't converse for a week and that wasn't something I had never happen to me.
So I called her up for small talk....mentioned I hadn't heard from her....and she flatly said that she figured if I wanted to talk....I would call her.
Plus she was already established in her career, had her own house, and been on her own since college.
She had never been married as she had found out like I did that she didn't need someone else in her life to dictate whether she could be happy.
She was the first woman I introduced my daughter to after we had dated seriously for around 6 months, and we ended up getting married about 18 months later.
I learned that I wanted and matched up with someone very similar to my own personality, and very strong willed. We enjoy our time together, but also our time apart.
And the biggest thing is she isn't jealous. Maybe it's because we lived in a small town and she is younger than I am, but I would get hit on quite a bit early on when we went out as people would think we weren't together. She thought it hilarious....and that speaks tons of confidence to me.
So in short as you said....clingy people were a deal breaker for me!
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That's awesome man! Good for you and glad to hear. I hear all too often about how desperate people are to find someone. I tell people all the time that in order to be good for anyone else, they need to get comfortable being alone. Being in a rush and being needy will only put yourself in state that you will accept anyone or anything just to have something.