Quote:
Originally Posted by Never_Enough
Quote:
Originally Posted by OnerDriver
Since upstatedoc is now in a relationship, and therefore out of this dating thread, I will interject as I need help.
Few will remember (I hope) about my marriage and BPD situation.
A few weeks back I moved back home and I'm trying to make the marriage work.
Why? Well, she missed me, I missed her. Life without her wasn't the same, I'd much rather travel and do stuff with her than alone.
I believe this is normal after any breakup, you miss doing stuff or going to the same places without that person.
However, that got me thinking: what's it going to be? Am I just going to go from girlfriend to girlfriend?
I can't think of anyone who wants me more, who I can talk about ANYTHING, who knows me well, and who likes doing all I like doing (I mean, it kind of gets exhausting to hear girls don't like doing sports, don't ski, get sick or ask you to slow down when you're driving)... she's even with me on politics...
I couldn't think of anyone I'd like to have kids with so they could be raised with her values as well as mine.
All signs point to the right direction, right?
I thought I was going through a mid-life crisis at 36...
But since I lost physical attraction to her, how do I make it work?
Any personal experience in "reigniting the flame" so to speak?
That seems to be the piece that's missing and makes me VERY doubtful about the short-term future...
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First, what's the reason you no longer are attracted to her. |
I don't know but my guess is:
As usual, we got infatuated when started dating, lots of passion, heat (not like upstatedoc), made plans, moved in together, did lots of stuff together (move out, new houses, international trips, MBA together, Post grad together, etc)
Then we got married...
At a certain point things weren't so hot anymore, and I fully accept that is normal.
But I started to feel like I was the only one "starting things" so to speak.
So, maybe instinctively or counterproductively I started to "not" start things. As in: you should do something as well.
Well, lo and behold, we'd go months with just a closed lip kiss everyday...
It took me a couple of years to decide that wasn't going to work and left.
Apparently for her the passion is still there and she regrets not making any move. But I'm uncertain I'd be open for that now...