Car Exaggeration Stories

The Chaddening · 12-01-2016, 11:33 AM

We have all met "that car guy" who apparently has buckets of cash to mod their insane collection of race cars. I met one of these warlocks at my local Walmart market last night.

I was shooting the shit while getting cashed out and asked him, "do you go to school around here?" (we have a local college nearby), and he said "nah I go to blah blah auto school". So I asked him "what do you drive?".... man apparently I need to touch up my resume and send it to Walmart because this guy's race car collection would make Jay Leno look like a petty hobo.

He goes on to explain how he has a 600hp 2001 FORD FOCUS. Excuse me, it dyno'd at 598. My BS sensor is blaring but I decide to go along with it. "single turbo setup? or?....". "nah man all motor, NA". Right.

But wait.... That's not his only beast. Apparently he doesn't drive it to work much but a sleeper 800hp Dodge Dacota twin turbo V6 is waiting in his garage. At this point I flat out said "bullshit.".

Anyone got a more ridiculous story than this?

jgoens · 12-01-2016, 11:43 AM

Go to Walmart meet stupid people. Your lucky you made it out of the parking lot without your car all dented up.

bimmerfrk · 12-01-2016, 11:44 AM

I don't listen to these types of stories. I call bullshit by turning around and walking the other way.

9krpmrx8 · 12-01-2016, 11:55 AM

At our last meet I had a guy with a 98' 325i tell me that he beat an M4 in a "race". I told him that the M4 probably didn't know he was racing. And then last week I went to a another meet with a buddy who has an LS3 swapped E30 and this guy was checking it out and telling us how he too had an LS swapped E30 making 800HP,

DieselOG · 12-01-2016, 12:02 PM

Kid I went to high school with had a 1500 hp Eagle Talon, but he only drove it at night time because it was illegal to have that much power apparently. He got all that power from NOS of course, and he had a sticker that said NOS to prove it..

Delta0311 · 12-01-2016, 12:48 PM

There was this kid at my gym that bragged to anyone who would listen, about how his Civic SI destroys 335s, S4s, G37s, you name it.. His mods where an intake, an exhaust, and a whole lot of BS.

DieselOG · 12-01-2016, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Delta0311

There was this kid at my gym that bragged to anyone who would listen, about how his Civic SI destroys 335s, S4s, G37s, you name it.. His mods where an intake, an exhaust, and a whole lot of BS.

His mistake was not adding a wing and lots of window stickers from ebay, those are the real power mods

Banana Hammock · 12-01-2016, 12:55 PM

To me, having a random solicitor talk at me about their car is similar to the ones that talk about their kids. Talk all you want but if I don't know you, there's a very high chance I'm not paying attention to a thing you're saying.

F30lolz · 12-01-2016, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Delta0311

There was this kid at my gym that bragged to anyone who would listen, about how his Civic SI destroys 335s, S4s, G37s, you name it.. His mods where an intake, an exhaust, and a whole lot of BS.

Why didn't you believe him? Clearly the CAI adds 37 FWHP, exhaust only 26 and the BS about 275

The best story I've heard was some guy back in NY had a stock 07 E90 328xi. Claimed to tell me from the factory it had 330 HP

and he was beating new Mustangs (circa 2010/2011).

Delta0311 · 12-01-2016, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Why didn't you believe him? Clearly the CAI adds 37 FWHP, exhaust only 26 and the BS about 275

The best story I've heard was some guy back in NY had a stock 07 E90 328xi. Claimed to tell me from the factory it had 330 HP

and he was beating new Mustangs (circa 2010/2011).

LOL did he swap the badge with a 330 and then claim the HP boost? Oh wait or was it one of those "custom orders".

Mr Tonka · 12-01-2016, 01:47 PM

Here is a link to a great place to find such stories.

http://www.m3post.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=4

KingOfJericho · 12-01-2016, 01:49 PM

I always feel bad for these people.

I'll never forget the time I was at a kids birthday party that I drove my Exige to because it was a gorgeous weekend. About an hour into the party a kid found out it was my car and said "my dad said your car is a poor man's Ferrari." ...they drove a Mercury Sable to the party. Some people are just so fucking insecure.

Mr Tonka · 12-01-2016, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

I always feel bad for these people.

I'll never forget the time I was at a kids birthday party that I drove my Exige to because it was a gorgeous weekend. About an hour into the party a kid found out it was my car and said "my dad said your car is a poor man's Ferrari." ...they drove a Mercury Sable to the party. Some people are just so fucking insecure.

A miata must be a poor man's Exige.

Delta0311 · 12-01-2016, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KingOfJericho

I always feel bad for these people.

I'll never forget the time I was at a kids birthday party that I drove my Exige to because it was a gorgeous weekend. About an hour into the party a kid found out it was my car and said "my dad said your car is a poor man's Ferrari." ...they drove a Mercury Sable to the party. Some people are just so fucking insecure.

Ah Mercury Sable, just one notch above taking the bus.

F30lolz · 12-01-2016, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Why didn't you believe him? Clearly the CAI adds 37 FWHP, exhaust only 26 and the BS about 275

The best story I've heard was some guy back in NY had a stock 07 E90 328xi. Claimed to tell me from the factory it had 330 HP

and he was beating new Mustangs (circa 2010/2011).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Delta0311

LOL did he swap the badge with a 330 and then claim the HP boost? Oh wait or was it one of those "custom orders".

Still had 328xi on the back and it was an auto and claimed he had the trans flashed. At that day I was driving my E39 525i/5 speed and said that I should be pushing 295 HP stock? I was like WTF is wrong with this guy.

kprocivic · 12-01-2016, 02:08 PM

All i say is that's wassup.

Delta0311 · 12-01-2016, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Still had 328xi on the back and it was an auto and claimed he had the trans flashed. At that day I was driving my E39 525i/5 speed and said that I should be pushing 295 HP stock? I was like WTF is wrong with this guy.

LMAO should have asked him what formula he used to calculate all that..

Germanauto · 12-01-2016, 02:16 PM

The only people I've met like this are the Subaru, Honda, and VW fanboys between the ages of 16 - early 20s. Their entire lives revolved around their stupid ugly car; unsurprisingly most didn't do much after high school.

doogee · 12-01-2016, 02:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 9krpmrx8

At our last meet I had a guy with a 98' 325i tell me that he beat an M4 in a "race". I told him that the M4 probably didn't know he was racing. And then last week I went to a another meet with a buddy who has an LS3 swapped E30 and this guy was checking it out and telling us how he too had an LS swapped E30 making 800HP,

Well he was already lying about his car apparently. There is no such thing as a 98 325i.

I have a friend with a 318ti that'll rape just about anything on the road though. M52 turbo with ~600whp

Lups · 12-01-2016, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Delta0311

There was this kid at my gym that bragged to anyone who would listen, about how his Civic SI destroys 335s, S4s, G37s, you name it.. His mods where an intake, an exhaust, and a whole lot of BS.

I know a guy who insists we cheat in a race where the value of the car is the entry point. If you claim an F8x taken to the race is worth 2k, you have to sell it to the first guy who gives you the money after the race.

Our magnificent (not) team enters to the same rally every five years or so, and every time he refuses to buy our car (maybe worth 200 bucks and even that is being generous) and refuses to stfu.

MightyMouseTech · 12-01-2016, 02:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GirthBrooks

at my local Walmart market last night.

Found your problem.

9krpmrx8 · 12-01-2016, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doogee

Well he was already lying about his car apparently. There is no such thing as a 98 325i.

I have a friend with a 318ti that'll rape just about anything on the road though. M52 turbo with ~600whp

Whatever this is, could have sworn it was a 325i. And bone stock engine wise.

12-01-2016, 11:33 AM	#1
The Chaddening Major General 11585 Rep 5,510 Posts Drives: Bicycle - reducing carbon Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: Kekistan iTrader: (0)	Car Exaggeration Stories We have all met "that car guy" who apparently has buckets of cash to mod their insane collection of race cars. I met one of these warlocks at my local Walmart market last night. I was shooting the shit while getting cashed out and asked him, "do you go to school around here?" (we have a local college nearby), and he said "nah I go to blah blah auto school". So I asked him "what do you drive?".... man apparently I need to touch up my resume and send it to Walmart because this guy's race car collection would make Jay Leno look like a petty hobo. He goes on to explain how he has a 600hp 2001 FORD FOCUS. Excuse me, it dyno'd at 598. My BS sensor is blaring but I decide to go along with it. "single turbo setup? or?....". "nah man all motor, NA". Right. But wait.... That's not his only beast. Apparently he doesn't drive it to work much but a sleeper 800hp Dodge Dacota twin turbo V6 is waiting in his garage. At this point I flat out said "bullshit.". Anyone got a more ridiculous story than this?
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12-01-2016, 11:43 AM	#2
jgoens Major General 3788 Rep 5,776 Posts Drives: 2013 335i msport Join Date: Nov 2014 Location: San Mateo, CA iTrader: (0)	Go to Walmart meet stupid people. Your lucky you made it out of the parking lot without your car all dented up.
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12-01-2016, 11:44 AM	#3
bimmerfrk Lieutenant 591 Rep 534 Posts Drives: Ferrari Red F83 Join Date: May 2012 Location: Tristate Area iTrader: (0)	I don't listen to these types of stories. I call bullshit by turning around and walking the other way. __________________
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12-01-2016, 11:55 AM	#4
9krpmrx8 Clean is the new cool, keep it that way. 808 Rep 1,685 Posts Drives: 11' Alpine White 335i Sedan Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: San Antonio, Texas iTrader: (0)	At our last meet I had a guy with a 98' 325i tell me that he beat an M4 in a "race". I told him that the M4 probably didn't know he was racing. And then last week I went to a another meet with a buddy who has an LS3 swapped E30 and this guy was checking it out and telling us how he too had an LS swapped E30 making 800HP,
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12-01-2016, 12:02 PM	#5
DieselOG Spaceship Man Bad 1674 Rep 251 Posts Drives: DIEsel Join Date: Dec 2015 Location: Minnesota iTrader: (0)	Kid I went to high school with had a 1500 hp Eagle Talon, but he only drove it at night time because it was illegal to have that much power apparently. He got all that power from NOS of course, and he had a sticker that said NOS to prove it.. __________________
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12-01-2016, 12:48 PM	#6
Delta0311 Banned 7478 Rep 10,120 Posts Drives: 2011 BMW 335xi E92 2016 228xi Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: NJ iTrader: (1)	There was this kid at my gym that bragged to anyone who would listen, about how his Civic SI destroys 335s, S4s, G37s, you name it.. His mods where an intake, an exhaust, and a whole lot of BS.
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12-01-2016, 12:55 PM	#8
Banana Hammock Beefcake 3769 Rep 711 Posts Drives: NA Join Date: Apr 2016 Location: Los Angeles iTrader: (2)	To me, having a random solicitor talk at me about their car is similar to the ones that talk about their kids. Talk all you want but if I don't know you, there's a very high chance I'm not paying attention to a thing you're saying.
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12-01-2016, 01:47 PM	#11
Mr Tonka is probably out riding. 6058 Rep 2,292 Posts Drives: Something Italian Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Sweatypeninsula iTrader: (0)	Here is a link to a great place to find such stories. http://www.m3post.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=4 __________________ "There is no greater tyranny than that which is perpetrated under the shield of the law and in the name of justice. -Charles de Secondat"
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12-01-2016, 01:49 PM	#12
KingOfJericho Major General 2452 Rep 7,341 Posts Drives: Yes Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: CT iTrader: (1) Garage List 2010 135i Coupe [5.26]	I always feel bad for these people. I'll never forget the time I was at a kids birthday party that I drove my Exige to because it was a gorgeous weekend. About an hour into the party a kid found out it was my car and said "my dad said your car is a poor man's Ferrari." ...they drove a Mercury Sable to the party. Some people are just so fucking insecure. __________________ The views and opinions expressed in this post are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or position of Bimmerpost. 2018 Jeep Grand Cherokee High Altitude Hemi \| 2010 S4 Sold \| 2010 BMW 135i Retired \| 2006 Lotus Exige Sold
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12-01-2016, 02:08 PM	#16
kprocivic Lieutenant Colonel 813 Rep 1,575 Posts Drives: ecoboost s to the t Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: 92346 iTrader: (7)	All i say is that's wassup.
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12-01-2016, 02:16 PM	#18
Germanauto Major General 9701 Rep 6,084 Posts Drives: Alfa Romeo Giulia, Rosso Join Date: Jul 2016 Location: LA iTrader: (0)	The only people I've met like this are the Subaru, Honda, and VW fanboys between the ages of 16 - early 20s. Their entire lives revolved around their stupid ugly car; unsurprisingly most didn't do much after high school.
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