| 09-26-2016, 06:27 PM | #1 |
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The Most Uncomfortable Haircut I Have Ever Had
So I typically have a lady who cuts my hair... but she was booked all weekend. My hair was getting super long and I had to get it done because HR had just sent out a memo about being "clean and neat" during one of our last meetings. There is a sports clips on the same street where I work, so I figured... why not? I have time on my lunch break.
This would be a decision I would later regret. I am a fairly introverted person, especially around people that I don't know. So I show up and go through the normal spiel.... and I am then assigned to the woman who will be cutting my hair. I instantly notice 5 assorted facial piercings, but I wasn't going to be judgemental - all I wanted was a good haircut! About 3 minutes into the haircut, she begins speaking on an exceptionally intimate level. I am not sure what signals I gave her to think that I was OK with this. She starts off by saying "Yeah... I was late to work today", so naturally I ask "Why?". She leans in close and says, "Well, we are both adults.. right?" And begins to tell me that she was late because her and her boyfriend(who is 12 years younger than her.. thanks for that image) were "getting it in" moments before she walked into work. She said that sometimes he feels used because they have sex so often, and exclaimed "just wait until after work!". She then begins to talk about how her boyfriend is quiet and that she talks a lot.... and then proceeds to whisper in my ear "He is a little submissive" and starts laughing loud enough to where it draws attention from everyone else in this barber shop. I am wildly uncomfortable at this point. I am looking at this overweight 40 year old woman and she is talking about things that I wouldn't want to talk about with a friend I had known my entire life... and I met her 5 minutes ago! She then asks me "What are you going to be for Halloween?", I told her I had no idea. I reluctantly ask her "What about you?". She excitedly begins to tell me how her and her boyfriend are going to do a couples costume, and he will be on all fours in leather with a ball gag and a leash. Trying to break the obvious tension I joked "Hopefully you won't wear that in any neighborhoods". What do you say to that? At this point I am utterly shocked, red in the face, and have begun to develop a light perspiration on my back. She starts talking about the different products they offer and how she loves the mint shampoo. She said that she wished they offered it in a bubble bath because it makes her skin tingle and she said she would love to have that feeling all over her entire body. The haircut actually turned out OK, she trimmed my beard too. Overall...10/10. |
| 09-26-2016, 06:59 PM | #4 |
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Given the proximity between "getting it on" and coming into work, she probably saved money on product. She probably used the "there is something about Mary "shampoo.
You're welcome. I predict a hair washing.
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| 09-26-2016, 07:02 PM | #5 |
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Did you give her a tip?
Just the tip.... |
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| 09-26-2016, 09:04 PM | #6 |
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Maybe you aren't manly enough for sports clips and adult conversations.
You are probably one of those guys who likes girly things and doesn't even care for sports. You and your wife probably decorate together too. Right, bimmette |
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| 09-26-2016, 09:04 PM | #7 | |
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| 09-26-2016, 09:08 PM | #8 | |
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jtodd_fl Begin! |
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| 09-26-2016, 10:08 PM | #9 | |
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| 09-26-2016, 10:24 PM | #10 | |
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| 09-26-2016, 10:25 PM | #11 |
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Dear. God. In. Heaven.
I'd have left with half my hair cut. Applause for hanging in there for the full Monty. I work with a guy who's into major TMI. When he starts telling me about his wife's...um....pregnancy issues, I want to run and hide.
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| 09-26-2016, 10:26 PM | #12 |
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The right way to handle a situation like this... is to start a more awkard story...
"I was giving this guy a reach around and then..." uh, nevermind, this was a hair salon... probably normal. |
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| 09-27-2016, 01:19 AM | #15 | ||
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OP had oversharing hairstylist with active sex life and his virgin ears were traumatized. bimmette
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| 09-27-2016, 01:21 AM | #16 | |
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"So, have you tried it in the butt?" This is a pretty advanced move and requires excellent laughter control.
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| 09-27-2016, 02:57 AM | #19 |
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Try having a dude constantly rub his dick on your shoulders, now that's an uncomfortable haircut.
Not Mr. Bluebird ok? A fucking penis on my shoulder. From that point on, I decided on a hairstyle that even my wife could cut. Saved a fortune and a crap load of time too. |
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| 09-27-2016, 06:28 AM | #20 |
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that typical chat at barbershop lol
you hear every1 business while gettin a cut. |
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