Ask a girl anything?

jtodd_fl · 02-08-2016, 07:30 AM

So, as the newbie around here who hasn't earned his credibility yet, I will wade into the deep end with y'all on the whole sex and marriage topic. If you don't want to read an amateur psychology diatribe, feel free to skip.

In a way, I think everyone here has been right and the biggest problem people have with sex and marriage is a lack of appreciation of the complexity of the whole thing. Yes, marriage is a piece of paper, but to people who are truly married, the piece of paper (and the ring) are symbols of the actual marriage. The marriage would be the same without either of those things. The marriage is the commitment that neither of you will ever have to face the trials and tribulations of the world alone again.
Also, yes, ones needs can be met by themselves with toys or whatever else - sort of. That reduces sex within a marriage to a single dimension - and THAT is the biggest mistake of all. Within a marriage (in my humble opinion) sex is way more complex. It is about (at least) three main things: the animal physical urges (which indeed can be met other ways), the need for emotional connectedness, and the "power relationship" (which is hardest to explain and I can think of no good name for).
1) The animal urges - yeah. We all get this one. Sometimes, you just need to get off. Most of the time, your partner is down. Sometimes, maybe not. Whether you choose to take matters into your owns hands (yes, pun intended) or not is up to you.
2) Connectedness. Sometimes, sex is about the connection. Reminding each other that they are the one and only - the partner - the king or the queen (to use typical gender roles). Sometimes, it is about the tenderness and emotional connection that simply says - I am here and I love you. That is a totally different need.
3) Then there is the complicated one. We see this most often in our cultural sphere as the powerful man that likes to be dominated. In reality, this often plays out in reverse too. I don't mean S&M (or whatever it is called nowadays). But most strong women, like strong men, don't want to ALWAYS have to be in control - to make decisions. Sometimes, someone just wants to be ravished - devoured - almost possessed, but not in a creepy way. They want to feel that their partner is just going to take control and they don't need to worry about anything. It is complete surrender. For most of us, our spouse is the only one to whom we can completely surrender and who can completely surrender to us. It is amazingly liberating to be able to do that and opens the mind and body to experience some great things.
So, sometimes - sex is just sex. Sometimes, sex is about tenderness and emotional connection. Sometimes, it is about surrender and trust. The real key is knowing which one you are getting into. When you both want the same thing and you both know what's up - that is when it is best.
Anyway... at least that has been my experience...

Axius · 02-08-2016, 06:31 PM

That's a lot of words to correlate sex and marriage. Good words and very well said, but it's a thick reminder of what it takes to make things work.

I just want some nasty sweaty hot back alley fuck with a girl named Shenequa.

1MOREMOD · 02-08-2016, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

That's a lot of words to correlate sex and marriage. Good words and very well said, but it's a thick reminder of what it takes to make things work.

I just want some nasty sweaty hot back alley fuck with a girl named Shenequa.

You told me you had standards

Axius · 02-08-2016, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

You told me you had standards

Standards of women, not situations.

In my eyes, Shenequa is a sexy black girl with a booty I could set a glass on and a freak in the sheets and on the streets. Kind of like Rihanna. Yeah. Like Rihanna.

Sara · 02-08-2016, 07:19 PM

An entire page of dudes talking.

I knew you all were pussies.

Axius · 02-08-2016, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

An entire page of dudes talking.

I knew you all were pussies.

"You art what you eateth"

-Abraham Lincoln 1993

Sara · 02-08-2016, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

"You art what you eateth"

-Abraham Lincoln 1993

Touche

///M Power-Belgium · 02-08-2016, 07:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1LRM3

HAHA! She could work at 7-11 and I would still say the same... though the perks of a shoe store help. Regardless, they are still a sassy, classy, hawt pair shoes! Rock 'em 504!

I saw the new spring collection today with kinda "SM" heels !
But I'm sure Sara504 she will not buy them even when it's from Valentino ..

///M Power-Belgium · 02-08-2016, 07:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

An entire page of dudes talking.

I knew you all were pussies.

Now that I am here...Not anymore sweety

PoorLurker · 02-08-2016, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

"You art what you eateth"

-Abraham Lincoln 1993

From all of your signatures and now this. You are quite well versed in quotes.

1MOREMOD · 02-08-2016, 07:40 PM

Yes who knew he lived until 1993

Axius · 02-08-2016, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoorLurker

From all of your signatures and now this. You are quite well versed in quotes.

What can I say, I'm a pretty big history buff.

jtodd_fl · 02-09-2016, 04:20 AM

Reminds me of this famous Lincoln quote:
"Never trust quotes from the Internet"
-Abraham Lincoln

Lups · 02-09-2016, 04:51 AM

You gotta love Ax. He always makes me lol.

Anyway, back to work.

1LRM3 · 02-09-2016, 05:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

An entire page of dudes talking.

I knew you all were pussies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

"You art what you eateth"

-Abraham Lincoln 1993

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

Faithful Yogi Bear at Jellystone Ballpark

Axius · 02-09-2016, 07:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1LRM3

"You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat six."

Faithful Yogi Bear at Jellystone Ballpark

"Hey BooBoo, we gonna go steal us a pic-a-nic bas-ket from mista Rangah Sir!"

1LRM3 · 02-10-2016, 04:35 AM

why do I like these?

Mr Tonka · 02-10-2016, 06:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1LRM3

why do I like these?

Because you're a closet misogynist?

Taskmaster · 02-10-2016, 09:20 AM

Feet are a NOT a turn on for me.

F30lolz · 02-10-2016, 09:23 AM

Were any of you embracing the whole 'Not me, not now' thing back in the day?

Sara · 02-10-2016, 09:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Were any of you embracing the whole 'Not me, not now' thing back in the day?

I have no idea what that means

Axius · 02-10-2016, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sara504

I have no idea what that means

And here everyone complains about not being able to understand Lups and I can think of a few people who post things that make less sense!

Sorry F30...., LOL.

02-08-2016, 07:30 AM	#5303
jtodd_fl 2nd Asst to Dept Undersecretary 6704 Rep 1,298 Posts Drives: People crazy Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Florida iTrader: (0) Garage List 2015 F82 M4 [9.00] 2016 F87 M2 [0.00] 2011 E92 M3 [0.00]	So, as the newbie around here who hasn't earned his credibility yet, I will wade into the deep end with y'all on the whole sex and marriage topic. If you don't want to read an amateur psychology diatribe, feel free to skip. In a way, I think everyone here has been right and the biggest problem people have with sex and marriage is a lack of appreciation of the complexity of the whole thing. Yes, marriage is a piece of paper, but to people who are truly married, the piece of paper (and the ring) are symbols of the actual marriage. The marriage would be the same without either of those things. The marriage is the commitment that neither of you will ever have to face the trials and tribulations of the world alone again. Also, yes, ones needs can be met by themselves with toys or whatever else - sort of. That reduces sex within a marriage to a single dimension - and THAT is the biggest mistake of all. Within a marriage (in my humble opinion) sex is way more complex. It is about (at least) three main things: the animal physical urges (which indeed can be met other ways), the need for emotional connectedness, and the "power relationship" (which is hardest to explain and I can think of no good name for). 1) The animal urges - yeah. We all get this one. Sometimes, you just need to get off. Most of the time, your partner is down. Sometimes, maybe not. Whether you choose to take matters into your owns hands (yes, pun intended) or not is up to you. 2) Connectedness. Sometimes, sex is about the connection. Reminding each other that they are the one and only - the partner - the king or the queen (to use typical gender roles). Sometimes, it is about the tenderness and emotional connection that simply says - I am here and I love you. That is a totally different need. 3) Then there is the complicated one. We see this most often in our cultural sphere as the powerful man that likes to be dominated. In reality, this often plays out in reverse too. I don't mean S&M (or whatever it is called nowadays). But most strong women, like strong men, don't want to ALWAYS have to be in control - to make decisions. Sometimes, someone just wants to be ravished - devoured - almost possessed, but not in a creepy way. They want to feel that their partner is just going to take control and they don't need to worry about anything. It is complete surrender. For most of us, our spouse is the only one to whom we can completely surrender and who can completely surrender to us. It is amazingly liberating to be able to do that and opens the mind and body to experience some great things. So, sometimes - sex is just sex. Sometimes, sex is about tenderness and emotional connection. Sometimes, it is about surrender and trust. The real key is knowing which one you are getting into. When you both want the same thing and you both know what's up - that is when it is best. Anyway... at least that has been my experience... Last edited by jtodd_fl; 02-08-2016 at 07:57 AM..
	Appreciate 6

02-08-2016, 06:31 PM	#5304
Axius Banned 4202 Rep 216 Posts Drives: 612 Scaglietti Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Watch Me NayNay iTrader: (0)	That's a lot of words to correlate sex and marriage. Good words and very well said, but it's a thick reminder of what it takes to make things work. I just want some nasty sweaty hot back alley fuck with a girl named Shenequa.
	Appreciate 0

02-08-2016, 07:19 PM	#5307
Sara Lieutenant General 5791 Rep 17,879 Posts Drives: A car Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Nola iTrader: (6)	An entire page of dudes talking. I knew you all were pussies.
	Appreciate 1

02-08-2016, 07:40 PM	#5313
1MOREMOD - 11817 Rep 23,187 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	Yes who knew he lived until 1993
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02-09-2016, 04:20 AM	#5315
jtodd_fl 2nd Asst to Dept Undersecretary 6704 Rep 1,298 Posts Drives: People crazy Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Florida iTrader: (0) Garage List 2015 F82 M4 [9.00] 2016 F87 M2 [0.00] 2011 E92 M3 [0.00]	Reminds me of this famous Lincoln quote: "Never trust quotes from the Internet" -Abraham Lincoln
	Appreciate 1

02-10-2016, 04:35 AM	#5319
1LRM3 Captain 517 Rep 788 Posts Drives: LRP M3 E92, MR M3 E93 Join Date: Dec 2012 Location: CT<-->SC iTrader: (8) Garage List 2013 BMW M3 [8.00]	why do I like these? Attached Images __________________ ENDLESS DETAILS, CT EPIC MOTORSPORTS, FL *Custom Auto Designs Protection Films, CT* *F.T.B.R. Garage, CT*
	Appreciate 1

02-10-2016, 09:20 AM	#5321
Taskmaster Banned 2465 Rep 9,004 Posts Drives: M235i 6MT / E92 328 Msport 6MT Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: Florida iTrader: (6)	Feet are a NOT a turn on for me.
	Appreciate 1