03-26-2014, 04:00 PM | #111 | |
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03-26-2014, 04:01 PM | #112 | |
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ask your doc - he'll give you details. maybe he hasn't mentioned it because he already knows you don't need it ?? |
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03-26-2014, 04:02 PM | #114 |
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How can i say no to that face lolz when she gets a little bigger i will post some up.
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03-26-2014, 04:30 PM | #115 |
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You either want kids or you don't and if you aren't sure, it's better to yield on the safe side and not have any .
My wife and I have enjoyed our lives without any children but we both knew that we eventually wanted a family. We have done just about everything we wanted to do and now we're ready to settle down. I didn't want to go the traditional route of having kids first and putting off my bucket list until I was older. All of our friends went the traditional route and have great families but have a pretty long list of things they want to after their kids are all grown up. There are too many uncertainties going that route; Financially, they might not be able to pull those things off and health-wise, you never know if you will even be around. |
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03-26-2014, 04:33 PM | #116 |
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too many posts here to read it all but i'm 31 with 6/4 year olds and couldnt be happier. if the wife wanted more i'd be down but she isnt.
kids give perspective and give you constant motivation to improve yourself and your economic position. without kids we'd easily have hundreds of thousands more dollars and nothing meaningful to spend it on. I've got friends without kids, lots of money and nothing left to buy. that's a way worse situation to be in imho. why even get out of bed on a day to day basis? the financial burden kids bring with them is a gift if you can handle it.
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03-26-2014, 04:53 PM | #117 | |
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03-26-2014, 05:16 PM | #118 |
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I'm at work and I just got a facetime call from my daughter. She is on her way to dance class. She told me she got a gold star today at school. We're at the stage where she tells me to hang up and I say no you hang up and she says no you hang up and I say ok we'll hang up at the same time, Then we'd count 1-2-3 oh no you didn't hang up. hahaha
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03-26-2014, 06:28 PM | #121 | |
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People are funny. Not you ^, i'm mostly done addressing your post. But people in general are funny when it comes to someone questioning the reason or decision to have kids. Lets be honest. Many people have kids because it's the next step in the relationship. Not all people think this way, some put the cart before the horse **cough**Sara** (not that 2 people should get married just because they got knocked up, everyone's situation is different) but many do it because it's what's expected from their mothers, society, etc... it's just what you do after getting married. Many others, mostly women, dream of the day they'll have a perfect little child to hold spend all their time with. Largely conditioned by our culture today and partly because of a maternal drive. Few guys hit the age of 20 and start pining for a little kid to call their own. Because our culture has conditioned us to be producers, make money, work hard, play sports, etc... and partly due to our competitive nature. Then we have the people who think THEY made a child. Get over your brilliance. You didn't do anything except forget to take your BC or forgot to buy a condom. The MOST you did to help create a child is plan when to get off of BC or when to try to get pregnant. Saying YOU made a child is like saying you made the tree outside your window because it's on your property. And there are parents who believe their child will love them always, always want to be with them and around them. They of course were given this guarantee upon pregnancy. Probably the same guarantee that daddy gave you when he promised the baby batter deposit to feel good. Life comes with no guarantees except for disappointments, there will be some. Your kid could be the antichrist. He or she could despise your existence. They could become a drug dealing crack addict and die at age 19. No guarantees in life. You better be able to deal with the death of your child, because the sad fact is, children die too. It's an incredibly sad thing to see someone have to bury their child, even worse is when some parents just don't recover from it. It seems to be particularly devastating to the ones who think their child is going to be the saint who will always be there. And who could forget the parents who didn't want kids but now that they have them, they wouldn't change a thing. Awwe... of course you wouldn't change a thing. Kids can be awesome and life changing.... for the better most of the time! But if your honest with yourself, you might have rather not accidentally gotten pregnant. But now that it's happened, you may as well accept it and relish in the ride. You people who love your kids, treat them right, teach them to be good, productive members of society, i commend you. I know that my commendation means little to nothing, but as a member of society who was not given the desire to procreate, i salute you. You people who adopt rather than procreate, you are quite possibly the kindest human beings on the planet. Unless of course you simply adopted because your 4th try at IVF failed; you people are selfish and obsessive. But those who adopt / foster kids who are unwanted, and there are hundreds of thousands of them out there, whether you believe in Allah, Jesus, Buda or FSM, i'm sure there is a special place for you some where when you're done here on earth. You guys are awesome! Also funny is seeing how the varied opinions from members here seem to coincide with your geographic locations. This of course excludes Litos who is indeed very un-Mexican. lol As for my personal opinion..... Some of you know about this overwhelming desire to have children. Maybe you didn't personally feel it but your wife likely did. Well, my wife and i don't have that. It's a lack of desire. We didn't make a pros and cons list, we didn't choose against it due to financial reasons; the desire is just not there. It's not a conscious decision at all. What is conscious, is a desire to help families who struggle to give their kids what they need. To love kids who don't know love, to show kids that even though they don't have that perfect storybook life our culture outlines for us, they are still loved, meaningful, important beings on this earth. Maybe i'm wrong and i'll likely never know, but seeing the deep appreciation from parents struggling with finances as they watch their kids eat an actual full meal at dinner time, let alone open Christmas gifts the family couldn't afford, is a feeling that i would imagine compares to seeing your own kids open Christmas gifts. Kids are wonderful, if we could see the world as they do, it would be a much better place. Their sheer innocence coupled with a still undefiled imagination is an awesome, beautiful thing to behold. It's sad that so many don't get to unleash that imagination because their innocence has been taken from them by one thing or another. Bottom line is as humans, we want what we want when we want it and there is little anyone can do to change what you want when you want it. Sounds like a bunch of malarky but it's absolutely true and when you realize it also applies to you, the road your life is on gets a little smoother.
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Last edited by Mr Tonka; 03-26-2014 at 06:34 PM.. |
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03-26-2014, 07:06 PM | #122 | |
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Nice wedding speech cum sermon, Tonka. I actually agree the decision to have children is selfish. But does God want us to lead selfish or unselfish lives? This is not clear.. Quote:
If I saw mini-me I'd want to punch it.. |
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03-26-2014, 07:20 PM | #123 |
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By definition, ANY decision we make that will benefit/improve (perceived or real) us is selfish. And there is nothing wrong with that. Sure, choosing to have children can be viewed as selfish. Choosing to not have children so you can go skiing every weekend or have lots of money to do whatever you want is also selfish! So what do you do, you're being selfish no matter what you do....
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03-26-2014, 07:37 PM | #124 |
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well that may have been one of the worst posts ever on the internet.
"don't have kids, they might die" giving an immeasurable amount of time, care, emotional and monetary investment required to have and raise a child certainly sounds selfish. oooor the exact opposite than spending all those resources on oneself. children are virtually your only contribution to the future. 99% of people will never contribute equally to the future of their communities or families through the sum total of their labour.
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03-26-2014, 07:50 PM | #125 | |
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03-26-2014, 07:53 PM | #126 |
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so you want me to answer why it's important that you exist?
and in order for a child to be adopted do they have to be born to someone first? just checking.
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03-26-2014, 07:56 PM | #127 |
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03-26-2014, 08:00 PM | #128 |
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hey don't put words in my mouth
i'm prepared to concede that there are reasonable arguments for certain people in certain circumstances to not have a family. there may be many such arguments. but everything that was ever done was done by someone's child; good or bad. but especially the good.
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03-26-2014, 08:06 PM | #129 | |
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03-26-2014, 08:24 PM | #132 |
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