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      08-02-2016, 02:35 PM   #1
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Jalopnik calls BMW engines "Gigantic Pieces Of S***"

Seems that Jalopnik's been scouring our boards for some click bait....

http://thegarage.jalopnik.com/bmw-en...hit-1784684330
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      08-02-2016, 02:54 PM   #2
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Are late model and current model BMW engines less reliable than those of the golden era? Maybe so. But, my gosh, what is it with some of these Jalopnik guys and their self important, rants - like a pack of females with sync'd up cycles bitching about water weight?

Such a crude, rude bunch of "dude"s (to use the last term lightly).
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      08-02-2016, 03:37 PM   #3
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I love that the tone and counterpoints of the article makes it sound like the author's favorite car is ... a Toyota Corolla.

YMMV. No, really: YMMV, doofus. College is over! ...

This jalopy of a piece (basically a glorified blog post; that's what Jalopnik's always been) basically falls in the believe-the-hype social movement. Best example: The streets of [insert any large American city here] must be incredibly dangerous because all I see and hear about on the news from there is death, murder, fires, highway pile-ups, burglaries, rapes, drug busts, drug use, drug abuse, and gunsgunsguns. Why would anyone live there?

[Yet millions do. Go figure!]

Thank contemporary media (of which I used to be a member) because ratings. Or, in this case, clicks.

Moving on ...
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      08-02-2016, 03:43 PM   #4
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If you had an article that said "BMW engines are pretty good but not perfect" we and no one else would be reading or commenting on it.
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      08-02-2016, 03:47 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by D675PDX View Post
Seems that Jalopnik's been scouring our boards for some click bait....

http://thegarage.jalopnik.com/bmw-en...hit-1784684330
Yeah, I tweeted at Tavarish. It's click bait for sure and not really a fair statement, since M engines are not designed to be driven like Corollas, nor are they designed to last for 200k miles (though some do!) They're high-strung performance machines that are driven hard on a regular basis. Still, I know a few people with S54 and S65 rod bearing issues and it sucks. But, it's still a tremendous engine and until the competition steps up (GT350 anyone?), I don't think it's going to dampen demand for these cars anytime soon.
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      08-02-2016, 04:44 PM   #6
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Heh, there are always good and bad examples.

Drove a 2006 525i to 177k miles before trading it in and getting a M235i (now has 6k miles on it).

Only issues on the 525 was oil gasket leaking (diagnosed at around 160k) and needing new engine mounts. No other issues ever.

You also hear stories of bad Japanese cars as well, so no one is immune to this.
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      08-02-2016, 05:02 PM   #7
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Interesting piece where corollas are compared with m3's and m5's....

Next blog he writes will probably rant about the poor reliability of ferrari's and Lamborghini's compared to corolla's despite costing over 10 times as much.....
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      08-02-2016, 05:02 PM   #8
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Wow, what the insightful article
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      08-02-2016, 05:09 PM   #9
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You wanna stop clickbait? Stop clicking on clickbait...
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      08-02-2016, 05:10 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KPop View Post
Yeah, I tweeted at Tavarish. It's click bait for sure and not really a fair statement, since M engines are not designed to be driven like Corollas, nor are they designed to last for 200k miles (though some do!) They're high-strung performance machines that are driven hard on a regular basis. Still, I know a few people with S54 and S65 rod bearing issues and it sucks. But, it's still a tremendous engine and until the competition steps up (GT350 anyone?), I don't think it's going to dampen demand for these cars anytime soon.
That's not true at all. Lots of M owners (as well as Porsche owners) baby their cars like crazy and they still break. BMW been having rod bearings problems in like all of its M engine and many other smaller issues as well (pos plastic water pumps, leaking gaskets, bad coils, etc) Honda performance engines last an easy 300k miles with zero issues and for that very reason everyone beats on them. My S2k has been bouncing of rev limiter daily and even a money shift didn't cause any issues.....it's called reliability.
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      08-02-2016, 05:33 PM   #11
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Well, Tavarish called them garbage not Jalopnik as a whole....but that's just nuance.

It is clickbait (and we're now all guilt of it) because of you.
Friends don't let friends click bait.....




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      08-02-2016, 05:38 PM   #12
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Quote:
...that was more unreliable than an AA meeting sponsored by Miller Lite

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      08-02-2016, 06:00 PM   #13
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The writer of the article probably was declined by BMW Financial Services, thus causing the butthurt from which their comments originated.
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      08-02-2016, 06:10 PM   #14
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He's exaggerating of course, but if we're honest, they aren't exactly the most reliable brand out there. We have to admit there's some truth to it, like it or not.

I keep saying, some BMW cars are like that girl your mom told you was completely wrong for you, and really, she was right, and you knew it, still.....
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      08-02-2016, 08:04 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by David70 View Post
If you had an article that said "BMW engines are pretty good but not perfect" we and no one else would be reading or commenting on it.
Sure, click-bait is click-bait. But I guess I don't understand why these guys think it's necessary to hand in your man card, fork over every last bit of dignity, and just generally be precious little flowers in order to get clicks. Funny bunch or prima donna journalists over at that shop. The blog used to be pretty darn good back in the day too, or at least I thought it was.

Ok, said my piece on that. You can thank us for all those added clicks, Jalop.
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      08-02-2016, 08:16 PM   #16
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Well there certainly is some truth to it, isn't there?

-S54, S65, S85 rod bearing failures.
-early N52 valve tick due to poor cylinder head design
-N54 HPFP, fuel injector failures, and holy shit that's a lot of carbon buildup
-N63 'customer care package' LULZ
-oil leaks on pretty much all of them, forever, and they start happening at 50K miles.
-N62 valve stem seal failures, and oh look more oil leaks
-N47 timing chain failures

All this from a company whose middle name literally is 'MOTOR'.

I'm a BMW fanboy like many on this forum, but the reliability of a modern BMW engine is a joke compared to the old M10, M20, and M30 engines. And the parts that are failing shouldn't be failing. They've pretty much designed engines to last the lease period, and after that I don't think they care too much about long term durability. It's a shame.

Last edited by Chihuahua; 08-02-2016 at 08:21 PM..
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      08-02-2016, 08:52 PM   #17
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^I think there are a lot of modern engines from different makes that have similar problems.

the rodbearings of bmw's S engines stands out but that is not uncommon for engines that rev that high and have a long stroke. The problem is that bmw doesnt set a specific maintenance interval for that (say every 60k miles new rodbearings). Honda excluded, a lot of similar revving engines have even shorter overhaulintervals at such points (but that's mostly the territory of real sportscars; ferrari's, tvr's etc)

Fuel pumps (hp), direct injectors and chains/tensioners create problems with a lot of brands.

The n47 timing chain failure is annoying, because that chain sits at the back of the engine (and it has those breaking butterfly valves too, probably bmw's worst engine imho)

I dont think oil leaks are really common on bmw's though, compared to a lot of other engines (buy an italian or french car ).
It's no secret that bmw doesnt make their engines as reliable as the average toyota engine but for bmw their main focus is driving pleasure, for toyota it's reliability.
For volvo its safety, so its pretty safe to say that toyota doesnt make their cars as safe as volvo. You can write a ranting blog about that, but it's just the way it is.
BMW has performance and driving pleasure as main focus, toyota reliability, volkswagen anonimity, hyundai price/performance/service and volvo safety. And at those points they each excel.
It would be really bad if bmw made a car that didnt handle, or a volvo that wasnt safe (or, thus, a toyota that isnt reliable)
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Last edited by GuidoK; 08-02-2016 at 08:57 PM..
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      08-02-2016, 09:09 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kyle B View Post
Well there certainly is some truth to it, isn't there?

-S54, S65, S85 rod bearing failures.
-early N52 valve tick due to poor cylinder head design
-N54 HPFP, fuel injector failures, and holy shit that's a lot of carbon buildup
-N63 'customer care package' LULZ
-oil leaks on pretty much all of them, forever, and they start happening at 50K miles.
-N62 valve stem seal failures, and oh look more oil leaks
-N47 timing chain failures

All this from a company whose middle name literally is 'MOTOR'.

I'm a BMW fanboy like many on this forum, but the reliability of a modern BMW engine is a joke compared to the old M10, M20, and M30 engines. And the parts that are failing shouldn't be failing. They've pretty much designed engines to last the lease period, and after that I don't think they care too much about long term durability. It's a shame.
Add premature turbo failures on N54s and plastic pos bmw water pumps
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      08-02-2016, 09:56 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolyan2k View Post
Add premature turbo failures on N54s and plastic pos bmw water pumps
If you hate BMW so much and drive an S2000, why are you even in this forum? To trash BMW?
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      08-02-2016, 10:00 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolyan2k View Post
That's not true at all. Lots of M owners (as well as Porsche owners) baby their cars like crazy and they still break. BMW been having rod bearings problems in like all of its M engine and many other smaller issues as well (pos plastic water pumps, leaking gaskets, bad coils, etc) Honda performance engines last an easy 300k miles with zero issues and for that very reason everyone beats on them. My S2k has been bouncing of rev limiter daily and even a money shift didn't cause any issues.....it's called reliability.
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      08-02-2016, 10:20 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SakhirM4 View Post
If you hate BMW so much and drive an S2000, why are you even in this forum? To trash BMW?
Because I have one now and had 335 and M3

I am just not a fan boy and I know BMW makes some shitty reliability cars. It's a fact.
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      08-02-2016, 10:22 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kolyan2k View Post
Because I have one now and had 335 and M3

I am just not a fan boy and I know BMW makes some shitty reliability cars. It's a fact.
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