[GlobalScientist]

Okay, perhaps I'll feel differently tomorrow. My son drives 90 miles at 75 miles per hour in 4th gear (automatic) in a 2001 Volvo V70 wagon.

Car indicator light starts flashing and says stop immediately. After inspection and oil everywhere, he basically melted the engine, because he apparent drove the car with no oil in it - probably burning a good chunk of it running 75 mph in 4th gear.



After about 3k in service and 3.5k purchase, all down the tubes because he was bored. Also, he says, "I didn't know he needed to check the oil."



Sorry for venting, I still love him.

[AlpineE92M3]

Soooo, ur talking about the Volvo right? Not the M4? It sucks either way but hopefully not the M4? Is ur son a car guy or doesn't really know much about them?

[Jashley73]

Telling someone they've done something stupid, and actually calling them stupid (idiot in your case,) are two different things. Watch those words of yours - especially toward your child... After all, no one was hurt, so its a really just scrap metal in the grand scheme of things. I'd be pretty upset if I read those things said about me, especially if it came from my own parents...

As to the money and repairs, make him responsible and make it hurt. If he's negligent to the car, and loves his sports, certainly you could work out an appropriate "punishment" in such a way that is fair, and teaches responsibility...?

[pikkagtr]

get him a 1997 SOHC civic 1.6
very hard to kill it, even if he drove without oil it'll probably still run for another 500 miles at 75 mph

[Zarilia]

That goes right along with the people that would bring their cars into the dealership service department saying that it must be time for an oil change because the check oil light has been on for the last week...

[DocWeatherington]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

Okay, perhaps I'll feel differently tomorrow. My son drives 90 miles at 75 miles per hour in 4th gear (automatic) in a 2001 Volvo V70 wagon.

He is a junior meathead football player who fits the profile of a dumb jock.



Car indicator light starts flashing and says stop immediately. After inspection and oil everywhere, he basically melted the engine, because he apparent drove the car with no oil in it - probably burning a good chunk of it running 75 mph in 4th gear.



After about 3k in service and 3.5k purchase, all down the tubes because he was bored. Also, he says, "I didn't know he needed to check the oil."



While I don't force him to do the same studious things I did when I was in school, he is such a dolt.

Sorry for venting, I still love him.

Sounds like he is going to have to walk, or work for the next car. lol

Sorry.. but it could of been worse..

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

Okay, perhaps I'll feel differently tomorrow. My son drives 90 miles at 75 miles per hour in 4th gear (automatic) in a 2001 Volvo V70 wagon.

He is a junior meathead football player who fits the profile of a dumb jock.



Car indicator light starts flashing and says stop immediately. After inspection and oil everywhere, he basically melted the engine, because he apparent drove the car with no oil in it - probably burning a good chunk of it running 75 mph in 4th gear.




After about 3k in service and 3.5k purchase, all down the tubes because he was bored. Also, he says, "I didn't know he needed to check the oil."



While I don't force him to do the same studious things I did when I was in school, he is such a dolt.

Sorry for venting, I still love him.

Okay, you hit a sore point. My dad used to call me an idiot and I hated him for it until the day he died. Turns out I was smarter than him, but that's another story.

You precious son, the future of our planet, broke your Volvo. Given your lofty title as a global scientist must put a lot of pressure on this poor boy. I mean, how could he ever measure up to that?

You use words like apparently and possibly; were you in the car when the engine melting took place? You say he drove in 4th gear. The V70 4th gear ratio is .87 to 1 which is very close to 7th gear in our F30 8ATs, certainly not enough to melt an engine in and of itself. Is is possible that the car simply broke while he was driving it?

The owner of a company I worked for accused the VP of Sales of ruining a company car in much the same way. The VP of Sales was a car buff and knew he had done nothing wrong, yet the owner just couldn't let it go. The VP quit and went to work for the competitor and has spent the past 30 years kicking that owners ass in the market. Turns out there was a known problem for that engine and a recall was forthcoming, but not in time to stop the damaged relationship.

No car is worth your relationship with your son. I'm sure he feels badly enough as it is. Maybe a teachable moment would be a good idea so he can explain to his son or daughter about how cars work and how to take car of them.

Good luck!

[1MOREMOD]

Time.for some father son car mechanic classes. Kids are all dumb they haven't had near the level of experiences. I was an idiot also and am fully functioning non window licker adult.

[b0bab0i]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

Okay, you hit a sore point. My dad used to call me an idiot and I hated him for it until the day he died. Turns out I was smarter than him, but that's another story.

You precious son, the future of our planet, broke your Volvo. Given your lofty title as a global scientist must put a lot of pressure on this poor boy. I mean, how could he ever measure up to that?

You use words like apparently and possibly; were you in the car when the engine melting took place? You say he drove in 4th gear. The V70 4th gear ratio is .87 to 1 which is very close to 7th gear in our F30 8ATs, certainly not enough to melt an engine in and of itself. Is is possible that the car simply broke while he was driving it?

The owner of a company I worked for accused the VP of Sales of ruining a company car in much the same way. The VP of Sales was a car buff and knew he had done nothing wrong, yet the owner just couldn't let it go. The VP quit and went to work for the competitor and has spent the past 30 years kicking that owners ass in the market. Turns out there was a known problem for that engine and a recall was forthcoming, but not in time to stop the damaged relationship.

No car is work your relationship with your son. I'm sure he feels badly enough as it is. Maybe a teachable moment would be a good idea so he can explain to his son or daughter about how cars work and how to take car of them.

Good luck!

Read post #7. Grenading the engine isn't the only stupid thing his son has done.

[sygazelle]

Originally Posted by b0bab0i

Read post #7. Grenading the engine isn't the only stupid thing his son has done.

The OP calls his son a dolt, a dumb jock, a meathead, and and idiot. The Volvo incident could have been his fault. Also, it could have been something else. The OP is taking a chance blaming his kid and calling him these kind of names on ruining their relationship. Even if the boy did break the car, is it worth it to call him all kinds of hurtful names? The list you mention in post #7 does not add up to squat. There are many parents out there who wish there kids were average and said stupid things.

[kprocivic]

Damn it's some sappy people on this forum. So your parent calls you an idiot, Calls you dumb, people say things they don't really mean in the moment all the time. doesn't mean he doesn't love him, doesn't mean his son will hate him for the rest of his life, just means his son did something idiotic. At the end of the op's post he said through it all he loved his son. Done. All that matters.

[b0bab0i]

Originally Posted by sygazelle

The OP calls his son a dolt, a dumb jock, a meathead, and and idiot. The Volvo incident could have been his fault. Also, it could have been something else. The OP is taking a chance blaming his kid and calling him these kind of names on ruining their relationship. Even if the boy did break the car, is it worth it to call him all kinds of hurtful names? The list you mention in post #7 does not add up to squat. There are many parents out there who wish there kids were average and said stupid things.

I don't feel like its a bad thing, if you explain why, so hopefully he can learn from his mistakes.

Maybe his son wasn't disciplined enough as a child?
It would've been a whipping/spanking with the closest object my mom could find for any of the things listed in post #7.

[Jashley73]

Originally Posted by kprocivic

Damn it's some sappy people on this forum. So your parent calls you an idiot, Calls you dumb, people say things they don't really mean in the moment all the time. doesn't mean he doesn't love him, doesn't mean his son will hate him for the rest of his life, just means his son did something idiotic. At the end of the op's post he said through it all he loved his son. Done. All that matters.

As for someone calling me stupid - whatever, I'm a big boy and have tough skin. In my opinion, everyone should put on their thickest skin, and not take such insults to heart. However, one should not use insulting labels (Son, you're an idiot...) towards family and close friends - these people's words will generally carry more weight and cut the deepest.

When I was 17, if someone called me an idiot I wouldn't really care. But if my brothers, mom, dad, or grandparents were to call me stupid, that would've done some damage...
----------------------------------------------------

Again, I'll say...

Originally Posted by Jashley73

Telling someone they've done something stupid, and actually calling them stupid (idiot in your case,) are two different things...

In my everyday job, I have to train production operators, as well as fix their screw ups. So it's part of my job that I have to tell someone that what they did was a stupid thing. If I lead the conversation with "You're stupid!" (which I never do...) how do you think things are going to go? Keep in mind some of these guys are bigger than me, rougher than me, and have a lot less to lose. See where I'm going with this? Instead I lead with, "Well, tell me what happened..." and then some time later, I follow up with, "So, you realize what you did was pretty stupid, right? So here's what we're going to do about it, and here's what we're going to do next time." Much different outcomes to the conversation...

In the OP's case, he says his son is an idiot, meathead, jock type. Question - is he bigger than you? Because when he was little his punches might not carry some weight, but at his age now I'd be thinking real hard about calling my teenage son an idiot...

Anyway, I'm glad you still love him for what it's worth...

[jeveryday]

In defense of the OP, he may have THAT relationship with his son where he can call him an idiot and he may not be hurt or devastated by it. He also points out where his son has a certain almost carefree mentality and to that you gotta let kids know when they're f*cking up before its too late(hell hes a Junior)

At the end of the day, its better he hears these things from his father, rather than his future employer. Hell look at the Wonder Years, Fred Savage turned out great and his father always called him an idiot.

I personally laughed and thought it was hilarious.

[1MOREMOD]

Ah wonder years!

[nick3753]

Originally Posted by jeveryday

In defense of the OP, he may have THAT relationship with his son where he can call him an idiot and he may not be hurt or devastated by it. He also points out where his son has a certain almost carefree mentality and to that you gotta let kids know when they're f*cking up before its too late(hell hes a Junior)

At the end of the day, its better he hears these things from his father, rather than his future employer.

I personally laughed and thought it was hilarious.

Yes but to post it on a public forum where his son could read it, then go on to defend the label by listing out "stupid" shit he has done over the years. Seems a bit much, no?

[buildbright]

Make him ride a bike or walk everywhere. It will teach him real quick how important it is to take care of things we cant replace.

[StealYourFace]

I might be a softie, but I'm real glad my dad doesn't call me an idiot. God knows I've given him a chance or two.

[yousefnjr]

Originally Posted by GlobalScientist

When he was 8 years old, when he was playing with his friends hide and seek, he pretended to be the wrestler John Cena saying he was invisible saying, "you can't see me" waving his hand in front of his face.

LOL crazy that you remember this after 10 years as a reason to hate him

[TomHudson]

Good venting! I know kids make idiotic decisions - that's what my kids do and of course what I did!

I'm just thinking I'll pick up a Volvo so they stay from my other cars - to mitigate the damages!

Dad is just venting - nothing wrong with that...

[infidel335]

People get smarter, or learn faster, if they have to provide for themselves. Maybe see how quickly he figures out when he has to pay his own way and buy his own stuff.

[jeveryday]

Originally Posted by nick3753

Yes but to post it on a public forum where his son could read it, then go on to defend the label by listing out "stupid" shit he has done over the years. Seems a bit much, no?

I guess... I just know every house hold is different and parenting styles vary greatly. To me this is no different than the old argument of parents who beat there kids vs. parents who don't.