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      01-02-2015, 11:07 PM   #23
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Clean jokes thread bro...clean jokes mothafacking thread!!!!!! Grrrrrrr arrrrggghhhh!!!
Reading comprehension failure.
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      01-03-2015, 01:59 AM   #24
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!
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      01-03-2015, 02:06 AM   #25
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!
Lmao. Love it- very clever.
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      01-03-2015, 05:22 AM   #26
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Did you hear about the gynaecologist who needed to decorate his house?

He wallpapered his hallway through the front letterbox.
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      01-03-2015, 05:43 AM   #27
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Women who say "size doesn't matter" .......
Ya their just shallow !
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      02-11-2015, 08:32 AM   #28
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A prospective Husband is in a book store, to purchase a book :

He asks the female sales assistant :

Do you have a book called 'Husband – The Master Of The House' ?

The sales assistant says :

Sir, Fiction And Comics are on the 1st Floor
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      02-11-2015, 08:56 AM   #29
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^ very nice. Lol

I posted this in the sport section but it's worth reposting here.

A reporter asked the Seahawks "hey, would you guys like to make a run for back to back SB wins?!" The Seahawks replied "nah, we'll pass."
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      02-11-2015, 09:07 AM   #30
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I can't wait to tell that fishing hook joke today!
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      02-11-2015, 11:07 AM   #31
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What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?


Nothing, you already told her twice.
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      02-11-2015, 11:17 AM   #32
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      02-11-2015, 11:28 AM   #33
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French, US, Chinese, Egyptian, English and Nigerian presidents where on a plane returning from a World conference. As they were flying, the French president blindly sticks his hand out the window and touches the Eiffel tower, he yells at the pilot, "Pilot, let me off here, we're above France".

Later on, the US president also blindly sticks his hand out and touches the Statue of Liberty, he tells the pilot to let him off the plane. The Chinese president follows suit and touches the Great wall, the pilot let him off. The Egyptian president touched the Great Pyramid and the English prime minister touched the Stonehenge. The pilot let them off at their respected nations.
The Nigerian president sticks his hand out, gets his watch stolen, then he yells at the Pilot, "This is home, let me off".
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Last edited by Whostheboss; 02-11-2015 at 12:55 PM..
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      02-11-2015, 12:02 PM   #34
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A man is sitting in a restaurant eating some bread and butter. He pulls the waitress aside and asks her if the breads topping is "I can't believe it's not butter". She says "no" and he says" I can't believe it's not I can't believe it's not butter".
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      02-11-2015, 12:47 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
A man is sitting in a restaurant eating some bread and butter. He pulls the waitress aside and asks her if the breads topping is "I can't believe it's not butter". She says "no" and he says" I can't believe it's not I can't believe it's not butter".
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      02-12-2015, 04:46 PM   #36
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Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor,” the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby.

“I can’t leave,” the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground.”

The guy runs back to his friend, who is in agony. “What did the doctor say?” the victim cries.

“He says you’re gonna die.”
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      02-13-2015, 06:51 AM   #37
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My grandfather had a stutter - he died trying to say "papaya". - Dave Attell
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      03-24-2015, 09:35 AM   #38
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What are the 10 best years in any Irishman's life?


3rd grade
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      03-24-2015, 09:37 AM   #39
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^ LOL
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      03-24-2015, 09:50 AM   #40
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And just a saying, echoing Jesus from long ago: "Wherever you find 4 Catholics, you'll always find a fifth"


(Yes, he used to tell me things like that)
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      03-31-2015, 09:55 AM   #41
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What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey
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      03-31-2015, 09:55 AM   #42
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 954Stealth
What did the pirate day when he turned 80?

Aye matey
Lmao niice one
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      04-23-2015, 07:48 AM   #43
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There are 3 rapid ways to get a message out in the world ...

1. Telegraph

2. Telephone

3. Tell a woman
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      04-24-2015, 07:13 PM   #44
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Did you hear the one about the jump rope?

Ah, just skip it..
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