Xenons are a must
Dont worry about the adaptive side, washers etc (if it comes with them 'great', if not, you still have Xenons in the car)
The waiting time is the same as standard lights in the build process.
The light sets and harnesses etc are automated in the build process.
It is only if there is a shortage in an 'option' item that will hold up production times.
Your Dealer is just being lazy and does not want to redo the paperwork.
Please have him provide you with a copy of the revised order so that you can check that all the items you have asked for are included. Once you pass the close off date nothing can be changed or added.